Home / News / 

Keeping Madge's vadge clean... sorry, oh God sorry...

The Daily Mirror has reported that Madonna - about to play a few UK shows - demands a fresh toilet seat at every concert she plays on her Confessions tour. Hence that headline. For which we again apologise...

Madonna, 47, is apparently paranoid about germs, which we all know lurk in your bog. Unless you use motherfudging Toilet Duck, of course, which we do. Other brands of toilet cleaner are available.

Someone with a big mouth and empty pocket told the aforementioned 'paper: "The seat has to be inspected by her people, then installed - with an unbroken seal - by plumbers before every gig."

The singer's spokesperson in the US, Liz Rosenburg, defended Madonna's actions: "Who wouldn't want a new toilet seat wherever they go?" she said.

DiS has been known to carry toilet seats into the Astoria from time to time, that much is true. But that's only so we can spin 'em about our waists, hula-hoop style. Fresh.

Madonna plays in Cardiff on Sunday (July 30), and then at some other places. If you've not got tickets, you're not going sunbeam.

• wow

  excellent article.

  (i'm not being sarcastic)

  millionaire | 25 Jul '06, 14:18 | Reply | X

• Youre going to regret that headline in the morning.

  yes_ | 25 Jul '06, 14:19 | Reply | X

• that looks like I was subtely pointing out my sarcasm

  but I really wasn't being sarcastic.

  millionaire @millionaire | 25 Jul '06, 14:19 | Reply | X

• I thought it was

  fadge

  Parsefone @yes_ | 25 Jul '06, 14:22 | Reply | X

• ...

  She never worries about yeast. Why bother about germs?

  Stealthy | 25 Jul '06, 14:38 | Reply | X

• you can hula hoop with toilet seats?!

  I'm worried about you. Are you eating properly? You must be awfully thin.

  IndieAndy_Jones | 25 Jul '06, 14:48 | Reply | X

• Mayber oversized novelty loo seats?

  And great headline!

  skybluesam | 25 Jul '06, 14:53 | Reply | X

• in years to come

  when you're sitting in Barbados in your villa by the sea, this headline will surely be one of your greatest memories

  joe_shoo @skybluesam | 25 Jul '06, 16:07 | Reply | X

• Why...

  ...does she need a plumber to 'install' a toilet seat?!

  latenightpsycho | 25 Jul '06, 16:17 | Reply | X

• correction

  why does she need plumberS (plural) to install a toilet seat?

  zxcvbnm @latenightpsycho | 25 Jul '06, 19:15 | Reply | X

• hm

  dont think it was the toilet seats that made her get infected in that area, from her 80's escapades!!

  familyman @zxcvbnm | 25 Jul '06, 19:18 | Reply | X

• after a

  shaky performance yesterday Mike reclaims himself with that winning news title

  jiffy @familyman | 26 Jul '06, 11:12 | Reply | X

• Let's hope

  he doesn't get the shit sued out of him

  *I'm not even sure if this is possible

  dove_from_above @jiffy | 26 Jul '06, 14:45 | Reply | X