There must be times when everyone just wants to give up and say, “That’s it, I’m going to listen to no more music for the rest of my life, and if need be I will cut off my ears with a rusty razor blade and throw them away like trash”. For me, the first time was halfway through Math And Other Word Problems, the latest full-length from Seattle-based ‘artist’ Marshall Watson.
A bit harsh you might say, but attempt to get through this album and try to work up the enthusiasm to write something, anything, on something so bland and effortless. Watson apparently mixes strands of techno, dub, house and shoegaze, but I for one cannot find anything related to any of these genres. What Math… holds is essentially the muzak that can be found plodding quietly in your local supermarket with a few Fruityloops-created beats over the top. If you have Sky TV, switch to the main screen and listen to the music that begins to play. At the top of his game, Marshall Watson can almost reach its quality.
Maybe he listened to Aphex Twin’s Selected Ambient Works once, missed out on the subtlety, the tunes, the atmosphere, and thought to himself, “I could do something roughly 32.4 times worse than that.” Or, somehow, it could be that he takes himself seriously and thinks that this is a work of art, but even in a world where misguided and highly prententious lonely souls view a sink on a wall or a stack of washing-up powder boxes as masterpieces, there is no way that something so throwaway, so completely unnecessary, could be regarded as a work of merit.
Maybe it’s not time to cut your ears off yet, but keep the blade ready: unless Watson does the honourable thing and downs a litre of cyanide, or at least destroys his computer and makes a vow with good to never use his (pro)tools again, we may have another of his albums spluttering onto our shores like a fish without fins in eighteen months.
Math and Other Word Problems
Is the irony of releasing an album with that title in the UK intentional or not?
Math and other word problems
The Americans add that missing "s" to sport.
Jordan, please write us an ACTUAL CRITIQUE instead of delivering your ill-opinionated filth of words
Jordan,
It really is a shame that self proclaimed 'music critics' as yourself have such a chip on your shoulder when it comes to listening to quality music as opposed to listening to whatever it is you've enjoyed bashing your head to one too many times in the past. It seems to me, by reading this review, that you were more interested in attacking Marshall Watson and his computer on a more personal level, then his actual tracks he's worked hard at producing. In reading the review, after every sentence I read, I anticipated an ACTUAL critique of his music from you. In reading reviews, only the finest critics will
break down the tracks piece by piece and explain what they didn't like about the songs themselves in a disective, systematic order, then build up the critique respectively thereafter. Unfortunately Jordan, you've failed to do just that, and opted for an attempt to try to impress your readers with your childlike bathroom humor and cheap sarcasm instead of doing your job
as a music critic and reviewing the music objectively. Perhaps you should consider a position reviewing and discarding real trash as a Garbage Collector, since you haven't the ear or patience for critiquing the appealing to the not so appealing.
This obviously is not something you'll ever excel at as a 'jr. journalist', if that's what you call yourself. Look into shoe sales or maybe cleaning the booths at your local Adult Book Store. Given the quality of your prose, and effectiveness of your delivery as a journalist, many of us agree that maybe it's you Jordan Dowling that should 'swallow that cyanide' you have
saved for Marshall Watsons next album, and destroy your own computer. Meanwhile, the rest of us will sit back with anticipation, enthusiasm, and eagerly await the arrival of Mr. Watsons ever maturing and refined works.
Stephani
ouchie
okay first things first, breaking down each song piece by piece would not work, as every piece is near enough the same.
and who is this many you speak of? maybe you disagree with my opinions of the record, that doesnt mean everyone else does.
and i dont call myself a jr journalist, or a journalist, as journalism is a 'job' as you put it is something you get paid for. i volunteraly write for this site so i can write about bands i love and support a website i visit regularly. i got sent this cd without asking, and i didnt love it.
and i think i described the album pretty well. if you listen to the EPG music on sky and put some dull beats over it, i wouldnt have noticed anything different than whats on this album.
and no i dont capatalise my i's. and this computer isnt mine so i cant destroy it. sorry x
The sky music = pretty good.
Especially the overblown operatic track. WOW.
You must be sooo unattractive
I can't help but wonder what you look like.... could your outside be as ugly as your insides....a good reviewer does not slander artists.....only frustrated, pathetic so called “reviewers” do......hope I never have to lay eyes on your face