The Black Velvets: 3345

Something warms my heart about just how persistent these ballsy, just-wanna-rock types can be in plying us so generously with their 'rock and roll circus.' I applaud their enthusiasm but ultimately, The Black Velvets have arrived to a party vacated several years ago. Unfortunately for us they just won't go home.

'3345' is forgettable 'rock-by-numbers' (arf) and unlike their previous single 'Get On Your Life', sticks in your head about as much as a funeral dirge. With innocuous vocals and equally dull lyrics, this is world's most boring rollercoaster - it promises unfathomable thrills but goes absolutely nowhere.

Go home, Black Velvets - and take your weak-ass debut album you just recorded with you. Thanks.