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Drowned in Sound
G'day.
We are on a magical quest to find a top-notch drummer, into things like Pixies, Devo, Regurgitator and Celtic Frost! It would also be tremendously advantageous if said drummist could sing harmonies and growl and stuff. If you've got your own hands and feet, and the will to rock it up with South London's premier punk-synth-pop-gumbo troupe, send me a message and we'll pretend none of this ever happened...

Cheers.
Guthrie | 16 Dec '04, 12:01 | Send note | Report this | Reply



Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Come on, please. I know you're out there.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Please? You've only got to bloody hit things, damn it.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, and sing a bit. Am I asking too much here?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I wouldn't have thought so - isn't London teeming with musicians? If so, where the fuck are they and why don't they want to join my goddamn band?

Me sad.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Come on, you're making me look like a sadcase talking to myself here.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

just a thought but your influences may be scaring potential candidates off ? ........a pixies fan into celtic frost?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, YOU replied (and many thanks for that, I was starting to look like a psycho). I suppose the Celtic Frost influence is very very minimal - in fact, only the singer likes them. And we don't actually sound anything like them. Come to think of it, scratch Celtic Frost, they're completely irrelevant. NOW will you join our band???

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I'm not joking. If no-one steps up to play drums for us, the world's axis will go all wonky making trees grow sideways and water flow upside down and we'll all walk like we've got elastic legs. So please, if you can drum, and sing, and like things like Pixies, Pavement, Smashing Pumpkins, Biffy Clyro, and things with harpooning synth in, sidle on over to South London, baby. Please.
I can sort you out with a CD if you want.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Pity I don't live in London, I remember hearing your band before and they are fantastic.

So come on you London drummers, sort it out!

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Hey, someone who isn't me! Thanks, drummerboi!

As Christina would say, he's right you know, uh uh, he's right...we are fantastic. Now come on and join us in our fantasticness.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

What are you scared of, god damn you? It's just a little bit o' singin' and a little bit o' drummin'. You can manage that!

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

i can't drum! and i can't sing very well. and i'm in a band already.

but theoretically i would love the job.

when can i start?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Eight months ago. It was fine for a while, you got the hang of the drums pretty well, and your singing improved enormously once you'd gained the confidence, but then we had a few personality clashes and I'm not really convinced by your commitment anymore, so I'm kicking you out. Sorry.

So! Next?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Whores of London and South-Eastern England, lend me your limbs. You KNOW you can drum. You can probably sing as well. So chuffing well send me a message and I won't have to butcher you with a frightfully sharp slice of mango.

Just toremind you, a South London band needs a kick-arse rock drummer, in the habit of enjoying Pavement, Pixies, Smashing Pumpkins, Weezer, Devo, Regurgitator, Motley Crue, the Bee Gees and PRINCE. Now get on with it and lo, all will be well and Aslan will bless this frosty land with his warm sigh.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie- this thread has kept me so entertained and my poor mind off Glasto + Wireless.

Trees growing sideways??

Thank you !

Haha

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie- this thread has kept me so entertained and my poor mind off Glasto + Wireless.

Trees growing sideways??

Thank you !

Haha

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Hi Guthrie,

No I don't mind you hijacking that message, very asertive of you to do so. Firstly I can sing and play and I love sining harmonies though I have rarely ever used it in a band situation and i'm not sure I want to start now and secondly can you get hold of me via this address as Drowned in Sound is a great site but so fucking slow. michael_frangou@ipcmedia.com

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

You know it'll never happen.
Just look at me for christ's sake.
You know what I'm talking about.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

why the parted buttocks do all you wonking bands need drummers anyway? what gives? where are your old drummers going?

confused,
stockton-on-tees

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, Ten_Foot_Nun's drummer ran away with the circus or something, and our drummer looks like he's run away FROM a circus - a hairy, dribbling freak, who, frankly, doesn't do our image any good. More importantly, his other band are eating into our time with him, so we need someone who can commit a bit more.

Is there ANY fucker out there that fits the bill?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I think it's time to wheel out the idle threats. LOOK, YOU - if we don't get a drummer soon I will kill myself. Now, there are two things wrong with that statement:
1) It's patently not true, and
2) If it WERE true, the quest for a drummer would cease upon my demise, and the band would be no better off.

So please, SINGING DRUMMERS OF LONDON (there must be a few, for crying out tits), GET THEE TO A FUNNERY and join this chuffing kick-bum band of ethereal HONK. Now! Lest I run out of ways of reiterating my desperation, and am forced to make good on my suicidal promise.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I have a theory, but....nah, can't be arsed :)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Please, sir, theorise away. I'm lost here, like King Charles I in a hat shop.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well there's nowt wrong with yer music, just drummers are generally, well, fuckin useless! :)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

drummers feel inferior to the rest of the band, because they just sit there right at the back, whilst the other band memebers steal the show. Unless you're Stuart Cable, ex-Sterophonic drummer. I would rather watch him anyday, than that Welsh-sunglass wearing-Rod Steward wannabe-prick.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

All this is thoroughly wholesome and fruity, and yes, Kelly Jones is an abominable cock-end, but please: does anybody out there have the necessaries to combine singing and drumming with a spaff-tastic band, in a 'South London' sort of vicinity? I'm prepared to forego the 'singing' portion, if there's any chance of a non-singing drummer getting in touch...*sigh*...

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I can drum a bit. I haven't got a drumkit...but I know someone who does have a drumkit, and who is a drummer...so if she doesn't join our band, i'll pass her on to you...

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

HUZZAH!!!!!!!!

Thankyou, Lauren! By the way...can you/this other drummer sing as well?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

It's a she, and she can sing a little. She's a lesbian betty boo. truely fabulos dahling ;0)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Infact, have her... I want to be the only female in the band. I'll pass her number onto you once i've doubled checked she doesn't mind:0)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Isn't that, erm, sexual discrimination? Well, I'm not complaining...thankyou, ma'am.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Sorry, meeting her tonight. will let you know. I come on here far too mucho

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Not wishing to badger you, but didst thou snag said drummer thyself or is she still on the pull, as it were?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Cum-stains...looks like another avenue closes before me. Back to square one:

We're a heavy, light, funny, serious, magical, tragical quirky synthy popcore heavy metal balladeering shouty harmonised glee-shaft. We go 'ping!' and 'whoosh!' and "BANG!' and other noises most often associated with the torture of farmyard animals. We smell of South-East London and it smells of us. The ability to DRUM and BACKING VOCALISE is needed, preferably encapsulated in the same biped humanoid. Can you help? We're gonna be famous and all that PLEEEEASE

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

OK, I'll make a deal with you:
YOU sing and drum for us, and I won't break your mama's legs. Kapiche?

Please, we're ACHING to move on!

Cheers.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

You. Yes, you, the slag-heap at the back. I need you. To drum. And possibly sing. But definitely drum. In South-East London. With the best band you've never heard of. All I ask is that you are passionate, reliable and fucking ACE on the tubs. Please, fans of Pavement/Pixies/Smashing Pumpkins/Hot Hot Heat/Biffy Clyro, get in touch. Please. I need you.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie- this thread has kept me so entertained and my poor mind off Glasto + Wireless.

Your handle on the English language has had me wetting my Playboy knickerlettes.

Trees growing sideways??

Thank you !

Haha

xMx

sorry I only sing and I can't drum to save my tits :(

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie- this thread has kept me so entertained and my poor mind off Glasto + Wireless.

Your handle on the English language has had me wetting my Playboy knickerlettes.

Trees growing sideways??

Thank you !

Haha

xMx

sorry I only sing and I can't drum to save my tits :(

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Ignore double fucking post!

*grr computer*

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, I'm glad some good has come of this pitiful trail of despair...watch this space, Maria, fuck-all is likely to happen anytime soon, so I'll have to keep inventing new ways to reiterate my desperation...



Thanks, by the way :)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I hate to do this to you Guthrie but...

* I play drums very well
* I can also sings (and play drums at the SAME TIME)
* I like the Smashing Pumpkins and the Pixies
* I'm not currently in a band

BUT

* I live in Derby
* I also like U2

Some things just not meant to be...

Soz dude.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Awww, no .

*weeps for Guthrie*

:o(

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Ooh, you little prick-tease...


Got it! Move to London. And listen to 'The Sweetest Thing' - you'll soon come to your senses.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

OK, back on the prowl...

I woke up this morning and realised that my band are actually the future of rock. "Wouldn't it be corking," thought I, "if a (singing) drummer in (South) London would just get back to me and my band could assume its rightful place on the Gnarlèd Willow Throne of Rock Supremacy". I really thought that. No, I did. Shut up, I did.

So - (singing) drummers of (South) London, get on the ol' 'Reply' button and JOIN MY FUCKING BAND; we rock more than the Pixies, Pavement, Smashing Pumpkins, Gary Numan, the Futureheads and Boris Karloff put together. And Karloff was a badass motherfucker, I'm tellin' yous.

SING - DRUM - SQURIM WITH GLEE

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Don't leave them! You're so good! It would be a crying shame I tell you.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Shhh! You're blowing my cover!

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Hi! I was just passing through when I noticed that YOU STILL HAVEN'T JOINED MY BAND. I'm not joking here, you know. We need a singing drummer (the ability to drum being top priority). Go on, send me a message and JOIN MY BAND you NON-BAND JOINING POO-PILE!




...in London.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

As much as I would love for you to finally find a drummer something in me wants to keep this thread going.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Why, lord WHY?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

yeah id have to agree, although you started this thread 7 months ago and your desperation for a "(singing) drummer" is almost making me cry...

its the fooking funniest thread on DiS and part of me (the evil part) just doesnt want this thread to ever end...

heehee

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

oh, and good luck with magical quest to find a singing drummer

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

You people are evil. I was told that this place was bustling hubbub of cool music types - indeed, the logical first port of call for one in need of, say, a singing drummer in South-East London (e-mail me, you gruttock). But it seems this is little more than a training ground for wee Beelzebubs to look on at my woe in a cloud of ha-ha-hoot-bubbles. Well, I've got news for you: I WILL find a drummer, and they WILL sing, and they WILL like Fear Factory! And then, once the band has become a global bum-kicking success, I WILL seek out you ill-sayers, wrong-doers and mal-thinkers and I WILL CRUSH YOU!



Stay tuned - more futile self-abasement next week. :(

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

i would join but i cant play drums i dont think i can sing and well i live hundred o miles away ahhhhhhhhh

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, thanks. Sort of.





Anyone else want to dash my dreams against the rocks of despair?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I can play, might struggle to sing much more than backing vocals though.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I can play pretty well, sing pretty well, and don't have a band (or a kit at the moment tho :(

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

...and you live in Leeds. Bugger. Oh well, thanks anyway.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

OOooh - is tre-cool-sticks gonna join your band?! He's local?!

I sort of don't want you to find a drummer for another few months.

I might learn to drum, it would be nice to be in constant demand like that! The singing would never come tho..

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, I've asked him/her the preliminary questions, but no reply yet...

Why don't you want me to find a drummer? As if it wasn't hard enough to find one, you now intend to actively hinder my efforts? Cut you down, I will! With my broadsword shall I rend you a bloody twitching mess, aye!

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

*sobbing into goblet of mead*

Come on, ye fuckers...look how late I've stayed up, waiting for a reply...

Come to think of it, does anyone know of any OTHER websites I could try? I'm sure other websites exist. Maybe one or two of them are about music...and maybe thence I could find a boom-bang-a-bang-lah-de-dah-er. Anyone?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Pssst! Shhh. You could try the drummer's cafe....

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

lol ermm....hi ! you freeeek ! well, i can sing, and since i am naturally very musical i can do some awesome harmonies. i can play many rhythms on said drums, but i dont officially play the drums, however ! i am a fast learner, and naturally talented like i said above :-) so...if you still stuck, i am happy to be a last resort heehee

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

then again i may be a tad to young for you hahaha

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I can play the spoons and sing like an injured cat. Would that do?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Quite possibly...do you, perchance, have a drum kit that you could adapt your spoon skills to? And whereabouts in the Big Smoke are you?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie old chap, its been 5 days and i need to know how your quest is progressing? I'm kind've addicted to your thread in much the way i was with the comings and goings of Melrose Place. I'm sorry to say that i am unfamiliar with this drumming and singing you speak of, and am far from 'South London', but i simply need to read more of your desperate out-pourings.

Ta very mucho

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Well, Brett, as you can see if you scroll up a smidgen, there was a brief flutter of interest (which, incedentally, came to nothing) and now I'm back to being flanked by the impenetrable walls of silence to which I've had to become accustomed. Gaaahh...

OK, I'm running out of patience with you lot. Non-singing drummers don't like me, non-drumming singers don't like me, non-musical accountants, 'frinky ones' and Finns from Cornwall don't like me. WHO in the name of Bubbler Ranx is going to step into the breach and COMPLETE MY FUCKING BAND? Must I go through this humiliating parade again? Oh, very well...

BANG!
South-East London band need plop-hot drumagician to treat feet to sweet beats, lay down smoove grooves and and bish-bash-bosh to our tip-top tosh.
FLUME!
You will ideally be 5"7', of Asian descent, a dab hand with a saucepan and answer to the name Madhur Jaffrey. Sadly, 'Mads' wasn't interested, and apparently shouting "You selfish bitch" through a stranger's letterbox at 2am is'harrassment' or something. This country...
KLUTZ!
But really, we don't care who you be, what you done or wherefore you at; you are what you is, after all. You just need to drum, like things we like (which today includes the Beach Boys, Meshuggah, The Hooters and Scarfo) and be game for a laugh. It's a knockout. That's life.
REPEATS OF 'MONK' ON SATURDAY AFTERNOONS!
So if this is you, fucking e-mail me you cunting breeze-block of shit. I've been expecting you...




...yeah right. As if.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Can't you just use the bossa nova beat on a casio keyboard?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Genius! How come I didn't think of that? And for the vocals we could get one of those singing/dancing mechanical hamsters. As long as we only ever play 'Puttin' On The Ritz' in Bflat, we'll be sorted!





OK, anyone, really?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Dear Fuckers,

My desperation has now reached such extremes that I am willing to OFFER YOU MONEY to play the drums and sing for my band. Twenty cents of leftover US holiday cash can be yours if you'll just fucking PLAY the fucking DRUMS and fucking SING a BIT.
What more do you want? Blood?!

OK, twenty cents and VIAL of my fucking GORE. Happy?



People already like us, we have a manager, some recent label interest and a great pumping fist of the finest tunery you never did hear. So please, come on now, cut me some slack...where the fuck all the singin' drummers at?

Get in touch, the usual address, etc. I expect I'll be here, spinning on my thumb and inventing synonyms for 'futile'.

Yours, at his wit's end,

Guth.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I think I love you, Guhtrie.

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

*I can't spell.

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Haha! Spell my name, biatch!

*sigh* But really...you only want me for my verbiage. Oh well...

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Haha! Spell my name, biatch!

*sigh* But really...you only want me for my verbiage. Oh well...

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

twice?

:P

I want you becuase you a sexy devil in your picture *ahem*, and I wish I could drum, but I can't, so erm... yeahs.

but i don't want this thread to end it makes me laugh!! Britain's next top model makes me want to go into hiding.

xMx

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Will this thread ever end ?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Maybe...can you drum? Sing? Not live in Paris? Tomorrow?



No?



No, this thread will never end.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Ahhhh...sadly, that picture is of the admirable comic actor, Kevin Eldon.

Girls, eh? I'll never understand 'em. Especially the frinky ones.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Sorry, i can't !

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

maybe just easier to get a singer - and then buy a drum machine - theyre more reliable than normal drummers.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Hmmm...but if we have to get someone in to sing and press the buttons on the drum machine, we may as well get someone to in to sing and hit things rhythmically. After all, a drum machine can't improvise.

So:

Oyez, oyez, come and get it. London-based pasty-faced wastes of space require improviser, vocaliser, can of Tizer.
Drum? Sing? Hate your day job? Light relief lies to the south of the Thames. If you can Grohl, Sturmer or even Collins, please, get in touch. We'll rub your back and tell you you're special.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie,

No one deserves a drummer more than you. Good luck in your quest.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Why do you need a singing drummer anyway? Are you looking for a gimmick or something?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

No - we need someone to make drum noises and sing noises to compliment the guitar, bass, keyboard and loudest sing noises.

Any takers?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I can still play well, and sing pretty well and still don't have a band or a kit, but now live in Crewe....

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Aaah....London...........daayyymm

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Close, ALimal...but bum-cigar.

Next?

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I live in Leeds and I don't play the drums and I can't sing. But by God I can make a toasted sandwich.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

OK, off to a bad start, picked up towards the end...

...hmm, OK, I'm putting you in charge of catering for the tour. Now all we need is a tour! Oh...and a drummer...anyone?

(P.S. - Thunder_Cat, check out www.mumrah.com, you Catch-It Kebabs fan, you!)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Conyers has left Catch-it-Kebabs, you know?

I'm presuming you know all the members and their names but... he has joined a band in Leicester and is moving there very soon. We may go down together as I'm at uni there next week.

But his going there has nothing to do with me, like.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Yes, I heard...sad news indeed. First the irreplacable Dr Fingers and now the thoroughly amiable John Conyers...if Jamie leaves, I'm declaring a conspiracy.

www.mumrah.com

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

They should be fine. I doubt anyone's going to notice the loss of one member when they are on stage...

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Oi, you...every one of the Kebabs is a special and individual - erm - individual...I'D notice, dammit...come back, John! I'll give you muffins!

(In case anyone else is reading this and wondering what it's all about, go to www.dothedog.com/bands.htm)

Oh, and if anyone wants to drum for my band, read the other gazillion posts above.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

John likes doughnuts more than muffins.

See... I have more Catch-it-Kebabs 'Knowledge Points' than you. ;)

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Hahaha! Well, he likes boys more than girls, so go fish, lady - I'm IN!

Anyway, go to www.mumrah.com. It's scrummy - the Catch-Its themselves said so.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Hmmm... you win this round.

:-D

And I can't get onto your site, for some reason. :(

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

OK, went slightly off-track there. Now I'm back on the case...where was I? Oh yes...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH come ON, Alan damn you, O come all ye faithless, joyless and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. I don't know about you, but I ain't never seen an ass like that...
...why not perch it on a leatherette-bound stool? Behind a drum kit? Four- or five-piece would do, any extra's just showing off...got cymbals? Got a BIG CRASH, a little splash and pockets full of expendable cash? Good, 'cause rehearsals ain't free, yo. Hold on, I'm not cutting to the Chevy Chase here...I'll keep it Martin Short:

South London rock band seek drummer that can sing like a n angry chaffinch, and roar like a lioness filled with the anguish that she must eat her young lest she starve. More importantly, you'll be able to drum like Alan Grohl-Haake-Chamberlin-Theodore, or just REALLY WELL. A few twists and turns here and there...some fast bits...double-kick optional. You will get the horn over Devo, XTC, the Beach Boys, Venom, The Cars, things that squeal electronically, things that chime percussively, things that yelp because you trod on them...yeah, we're like a pool full of hungry puppies, into which a barbecued horse is thrown...

...interested? Yeah? Well, where the fuck have you been? I've been asking around for ages.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Guthrie - please don't let this thread die. It's legendary.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

This thread is still alive woah

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Scap-be-dip-be-diddly-doddly-biddly-daddly-diddly-boddly-bop-bop-bodidi-bop. I'm the Scatman!

And I'm looking for accompaniment: a percusionist that can scat on the drums. And a singer that can 'do' human beatbox. But there's only enough room in the tour 'bus' (a battered Volvo estate) for one more person. So I'm looking for someone who can do the lot, and who doesn't have a fat bum. Is it you?

No?

Well AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, come on you motherfucker, you can drum. Surely you can hold a bloody tune as well? No? Well are you really a musician then? Django Reinhardt lost the use of two of his fingers, but carried on being shit-hot on the guitar. Frank Zappa lost the treble end of his voice but kept a handle on the wonkiest melodies ever written. Rick Allen lost an arm. What's stopping you, you lazy bastard?
We need a drummer who can sing/grrr/bzzzz/skibi-dibi-dibi-yote-dodo-dote a bit. Preferably, you'll like all manner of wonk-rock - XTC, Cardiacs, Devo...but also poppy things, like Erasure, the Beach Boys, The Cardigans...and heavier, and softer, and wider, and thinner, and round-and-round-the-garden-like-a-teddy-bear. And you'll be prepared to rehearse and gig in London. Am I asking a lot? Maybe, but I've now reached the point where I'm now writing this solely for the behoof of non-singing, non-drumming DiSers who derive some sick endosmirk from my glumwoof, so what the fuss...

ANSWER ME YOU CUUUUUUUUUUUNTS

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

I can't drum.
I can't sing.

I'm still living in Paris.

So it's a big No !

Sorry !

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Face the facts....

You are never going to get a drummer this way.

I suggest you steal one from somewhere else. Next time you are at a gig and hear a drummer you like... drug his beer or something then bundle him in a cab... take him home... chain him up then make him play for food, or calls home to his loved ones...

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Come on, Mr_Rigsby - you know it makes sense!

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

OK, bum-'eads, I'm tired and less than genial.

South London band require drummer with backing-vocal capabilities to play songs of love, betrayal, curiosity and despair. We draw on similarly pretentious artists such as Pixies, Devo, Smashing Pumpkins and Black Lace to achieve our punky/poppy/wanky/AAAAAAAAARGH JUST JOIN MY BAND YOU BASTARD sound. Anyone interested, with their own kit and ideas, please leave a note below, or send me a message.

winter warmer

As the nights draws in and the chill winds of winter near,
let us spare a thought for a lone voice crying in the wilderness of South London. His is a sad plight, cast a drift without a Drummer unable to realise his dream of recording that 'difficult' second album and appearing, twenty years in dodgy channel 4 music documentaries.

So I ask all of you if you do have a drummer, even an old one you're not using any more, please think about donating it to the Guthrie Benevolent Fund.

Remember a drummer is for life not just for Christmas.

Message on behalf of the GBF.

*sob*

Thanks, gwildar...that was actually quite moving.

NEXT!

Where are you, you drummy BASTARDS?!!

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Regrets? I've had a few. One of them which oft resurges is this: several years ago, I was in Rose Morris (no, the shop) in Denmark Street. There was a pile of yellow fliers on the counter: "siKTh need a bass player". An interesting job desription and list of influences followed. I picked one up and took it home...
I never ended up applying for it. I didn't think I was good enough.

Now SiKTh are ace, and pretty darned famous.

Bollocks.

Still, in retrospect, I'm not much cop on the bass, so it was probably better that I didn't send the e-mail and saved the money. Erm...
Anyway, what I'm getting at is this: do you want to join a band that's on the cusp of greatness? Do you want to see your name up in lights? Do you want to jack it in after a couple of years for a short-lived but lucrative modelling contract? Well, fuck off then. If, however, you're a tip-top drummer with backing vocal capabilities, living in or near London, I WANT YOUR ASS, SOLDIER. Please, please, please - let me get what I want. See the last ONE HUNDRED AND SIX posts for influences, etc., and GET IN TOUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

We don't sound like the Smiths, by the way.

gunthrie

On a cold crisp halloween I was fucked on hybrid theory and made friends with a bunch of long-haired beare-d fellow. They screamed 'jooiiiinnnnnnnnnn ussssss'.

So I become at one with the hairy folk...
In other words I have tons of mates in a samba band. Samba band practice is next Thursday, at least one of them might want to try out your band.

What are you offering? And could you handle a smelly hippie drumming for your band? Let me know, and thy will find out.

...You still there?

A thought just crossed my mind Mr. Guthrie. You should take solace in some of the groups we hold in the grounds of St. Stithiens Castle, deep in the heart of deepest Bushley.
We accomodate people with such problems like you. They too, have had problems finding drummers with vocal capability.
They too, have had problems finding drummers with an affiliation to Devo.
We've found a way to re-assimilate many of the people who have come through our doors and i hope you will be another successful story of our instution.
Dr. Brett
Magical Rock Surgery

...

Jesus. Is this thread STILL going???

Yes, it is. Sadly.

Now, either you help me find a singing drummer or you can jolly well stop complaining. No Rusks for YOU!

.

If you help me find like minded musicians. Seriously, being in a bandis hard work, but forming a band is like climbing up a mountain. A big mountain. Made of glue. And velcro. When you're dressed in wool.

Re: Ace-o London band need singing drummer

Yeah. Me again. Deal with it, bitch.

London band.
'Rock' persuasion.
One drummer short.
Drummer must backing vocalise.
Sounds like: Pixies, Devo, Clor, heavy metal, synth pop, but better.
Saw The Rakes 'on Jools' tonight.
Thought I could do better.
Want to help me?

i'm still

waiting for a big package in the post.

Of what?

Are you a drug dealer?

the drumkit

nonce.

Hey!

You never said you were getting a drum kit! That's ace!

Wait...did you mean...you're waiting for me to send you one?

You rotter! Oh woe, oh woe...will my quest never meet a happy end?

buy me

a drumkit and your worries will flow down that cold river.

Pick me

I can play the triangle...

GUNTHRIE

QUICK QUICK THERE'S A DRUMMER CALLED T-SHAPE AVAILABLE! QUICK QUICK!

Ahhh...

...very thoughtful of you, but I've already contacted that guy, and it didn't work out. So the offer's still open:

want to drum and sing for my band, anyone?

(Thankyou, Marilyn)

Offical King of the Musician's Forum

Guthrie! Guthrie! Guthrie!

Thankyou, serfs.

*waves royally*

Get me out of here, Jeeves, these people smell.

i love you

gunthrie!

Ah, Marilyn...

...I do hope Santa brings you a drum kit this year. And the ability to play it. Fuck it, if we're dreaming, tap him for a record deal and a tour bus full of muffins.

the only thing

santa's brining me is coal. I'm been a bad little girl.

he

may throw in a dictionary too.

The one year anniversary

of this thread is fast approaching. Can we all club together and pay for a monkey/person/monkey-person to be trained to drum and sing for him?

c'mon man

your in london there must be tonnes of drummers!! you must be looking in the wrong places. i live in scotland which has less people and have no trouble in finding drummers, maybe we have a surplus up here, i could send some down for you if you want, you would have to pay p&p though

Soul-fart.

Most charitable of you, warny. Alas - 'tisn't going to happen. I wanted George Michael's heart last year - didn't even get that.

And I wish it were that simple, s_y_b (can I call you s_?). I remember seeing a group of Glaswegians called [cayto] a couple of times and their drummer was tip-top. AND he could sing! But I think it would be a tad unfair, not to mention impractical, to either
a) enlist the skills of someone whose travel expenses for rehearsals would cost more than the drum kit itself
or
b) mail a living person, however talented, to me, as no doubt they would arrive at best bewildered and at worst completely smashed-up.
Thankyou for the thought, though.

If I am indeed looking in the wrong places, do you perchance have any better suggestions? I've drawn a blank, despite some hefty Googlage.

Happy Anniversary!

Guthrie

cayto

are very good !

PLease stop this thread

it's doing my head in.

no way

Gunthrie is the best fucker on this board ;)

Aww.

What a sweet-feet. Thanks, manrilyn.

gwildar - don't remind me. It's so depressing.

Still looking, folks. Let me know.

manrilyn?!

The cheek, I think I'm offended.

Ha...

...no offence was intended, ma'am...I just thought you might like one of your surplus 'n's back.

Yours,

GUTHRIE

(Happy new year, by the way, Marilyn)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I know a drummer...but she live sin Putney. She's cool as chips though!

Cool as chips?

I tend to prefer mine hot, but I'm in no position to be picky - hand her over at once. Is she any good? Available? And of the 'singing' persuasion?

Thanks, Marilyn. If it weren't for you...well, I'd still be writing this bastard thread on my own.

it's ok

I often write threads alone. She's cool, has her own drumkit and best of all lives above a pub! Her names Remi, i need to get het number from a mate then I'll pm you asap x

Ace-core!

What a star. Thankyou!

C.F

.....rules.
I am a drummist (!!!!! do you mean "drummer"?) and I can do what you are after, but a bit busy with my own band.
Regurgitator must be a grind band then!!
G.

Damn you

you little prick-tease, you. If you've got the skills to pay the gas, electricity and platypus bills, please, hook me up, yo. We've got a bass player already. Fuck your other band. Come to Butt-Head.

And no, Regurgitated are the grind band. Regurgitator are more...eclectic.

Regurgitated have the better album artwork, naturally.

guthrie?

do you live here? Is the musician's board you're domain?

I know a few drummers into you're kinda stuff. I would offer myself cept i'm mega outta shape drum wise, and this bastard uni thing i frequent. good luck on your quest.

This thread has been going for over a year now

and you still haven't found a drummer? Man trying to form a band is difficult. Trust me I know.

I think maybe this exceedingly long thread is making everyone believe you're not serious.

I can assure you...

...I am. And it's frustrating me to the point of tears.

hollywood_freak, do me a lemon as we Londoners are purported to say and put me in touch with some of these drummers you know, or vice versa, please! See 'tears', above.

Here we go again.

It's wince o'clock. Here I am, settling into the my-bum-shaped groove of the computer chair, racking my brains for yet another synonym for 'help me find a drummer'. Nothing comes to mind. Why did Alan Drownedinsound set up a 'Musicians' forum? Perhaps he was expecting a 'music'-themed site would attract more qualified practitioners of 'music'. And yet where are they all? There are umpteen people on here crying out for band members, drummers especially, and though I've been wailing the loudest for over a year, still no-one has stepped forth and taken up the throne and twin sceptres of Drumdon. Has anyone who advertised on here had any luck? Or are all the musicians on here already in bands, seeking that elusive last member? Oh I don't know. You'd think that I'd just give up and become an accountant. But I'm crap at maths. So I have to keep trying.

What ho, chums, and welcome to the show. This week on 'Guthrie No-Mates' we're making a very special request. We're looking for a percussionist (that's French for 'drummer'). But not just any drummer - we're looking for a drummer that can sing. No, don't rush to the phone yet, Meg White - we need a drummer who can sing WHILST DRUMMING. Sit down, Meg. Does this sound like you? Well, wait. Let me introduce you to Guthrie. Guthrie?
"Hi."
Now, Guthrie, I understand you've been looking for a singing drummer for...how long?
"Over a year now, Nicky."
Right. And have you had any interest at all?
"Well, a couple of people got in touch, but they either didn't really like the music or they just weren't able to sing at drum at the same time."
Yes, I understand that 'singing-and-drumming-at-the-same-time' is pretty essential for your band, isn't it?
"Yes, Nicky, it is."
Have you asked, maybe, Rahzel?
"Yes, but he said he's too busy with The Roots and Bjork and Mike Patton at the moment. Plus his 'cymbal' sound isn't very convincing."
Alright. So give us an idea of what you're lookiong for.
"OK, well I'm too desperate to impose age restrictions or anything like that, so really, just anyone who can drum and sing in London who's into Pixies, Devo, Biffy Clyro, that sort of stuff. It's basically punky-ballady-prog-synth-mash with a sense of humour and no dress code."
Haha, that's a catchy way of putting it. Well, good luck, Guthrie, and thankyou for joining us.
"Tha-"
Can YOU help? Perhaps you're a singing drummer who's just parted ways with your old band. Maybe you were singing and drumming in a band years ago, but gave it up, and now you want your rock back - remember there are no age restrictions here. Or maybe you know someone who's just left university with a music degree, and they're looking to dedicate themselves to a shit-hot London-based gumbo-rock troupe. Maybe none of these, maybe all of them. If you can help, please, please get in touch. With your help, we can put an end to the misery of people like Guthrie.
And that's all we have time for this week. Until next time - be aggressive. Goodnight!

do you a lemon?

will make a few calls, see if any are interested. I'll just say go here...

http://www.drownedinsound.com/content/view/144171

That would be...

...FANDABIDOZI. Sir Thanksalot.

Look, I can sing and I can drum

send me some MP3s or links to them.

Ho hum...

...that didn't work out either, folks. I'm about to blow my brains out with a bicycle pump. Please help me.

my drummer friend in skiing

I suggest you buy me a drumkit. Either that or get a fecking drum machine and wheel in Stephen Hawking.

Damn, damn, damn.

If I could afford to, and there was any chance of you being good enough on it to gig within a few months, I would, O Generous Marilyn. Your friend's a knob. I'm a knob. Celtic Frost are knobs.

www.taste-of-black.ch/images/celtic_frost.jpg

drums, etc

I play drums and sing, at the same time. Got any demos, websites?

Guthrie!

Interest! Check it!

!

(!)

*O*
^

I'm on the mofo.

:)

Fuck! Another dead end...

...which is, incidentally, what I may be reaching shortly if no-one turns up and offers some singy-drummy skillz. YOU! You're new here. Read the start of this thread and then tell me you want to join my band. Please.

Look, dunno how stuck you are

but where you based as I know a really good drummer who hasn't had a band in ages. He used to be the old drummer in my old band until he had a row with our lead singer (as did everyone). Dunno if you're interested, or he is for that matter. What type of music are you? THIS THREAD MUST END.

A-hahahahaha.

Methinks you just want rid of me...but if you're serious, and there really is a singing drummer in London just ambling about, please, moker, point 'em thisaway. We play punky/poppy/metally/proggy synth-pop with two-(hopefully three-)part harmonies and choruses you can sing along to as long as you know the words.

Jeepers!

There's been a recent spate of DRUMMERS on this 'ere board (yes, I've left each of them my name, of course), but rather than type out the last 140 or so posts again, I'm bumping this back up to the top in the hope that said drummers will checkidy-check it. Come on, drummers! I was about to give in and knock back the Domestos until I went on here! GET IN TOUCH!

I bet...

anyone who got inspired to become a singing drummer after seeing this thread when it started are really good now.

But to rub it in they all don't live in London :-D

Oh my god

Ok, I've just read all of this and I've got to be in a band with this motherfucker,he's genius. Where the fuck do I sign? I'm in Essex but will travel in,play the drums a bit and am willing to give it a go with the vox, fuck it,I may not be exactly what ya loooking for but what is there to lose? It's worth a try innit?

FUUUUUUUUNK!

Is this for real? Are you what the do you mean what is? Wow ow ow ow!!! Could it be that my zesty quest is finally nearing its bendy end?! YOU, Turbs, are getting a message RIGHT up yer 'ooter RIGHT now! YEEEEAH! Thankyooooooooooooooooou!

your first album me be called

Ace-o London band need singing drummer

*must be

I love how Guthrie was checking his thread at past 3 in the morn.

I don't want this thread to die. Turbo must be stopped!

well

...I'm about to write a message now,soon as Eastenders is finished. I don't want this thread to die now I've read it either,it can't whatever the outcome!

Now you're worrying me...

...you're not one of marcofella's evil drones, are you? Hell-bent on prolonging my suffering? Hmm...

So what if it's gone 3am? I still need a drummer. I need a drummer for all hours, man. I'm like Prince. If I wake up in the middle of the night, haveing dreamt about a pneumatic drill which has subsequently inspired me to write a song that goes DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN, that drummer needs to be in that studio in his jim-jams, man, cup o' black coffee, slippers, pounding out mah tasty beatage.
Oh - and I can't sleep.

You'll never guess what...

...I was on my way to the oxygen pump today when I tripped over a broken paving stone, upturning it in the process. I picked myself up and glanced back at what I'd stumbled on. I noticed that the slab appeared to be glowing...
I kicked a few concrete shards aside and a bright light was clearly coming from beneath the pavement. I knelt down and peered throught the hole.

No.

It couldn't be.

I cleared a few more loose shards with my cuff.

My goodness! Is it...is it possible?

I beat the remaining slab with my fist and it fell throught the hole. My face was suddenly illuminated, and I found myself staring down into a room, perhaps no bigger than a large garden shed, teeming with all the singing drummers in Britain, laughing, joking, trying on eachother's hats. THEY HAD BEEN HIDING FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR. Anyway, I was about to jump for joy when the I dislodged an adjacent paving stone by accident and it fell into the room, landing on Roger Taylor's head. He yelped, hoarsely. Phil Collins looked up and said "Oi!", then they all looked up and began running away. I don't know where they ran to. Probably their new hiding-place which I won't uncover for another year.

So - I'm back to square one. Would any drummers who can sing who are in or near London who like Queen, Pavement and/or Devo and who are not wankers like to join my band? Please?

bonjour

Hello Guthrie.

Do I play drums? Yes.
Do I sing? Yes.
Do I do both at the same time, and have done before in a band? Yes.
Has my old band effectively split up due to a lack of talent/commitment on the part of two players? Yes.
Am I forming a band with kids my age (16)? Yes.
BUT am I still open to other offers? Yes
Do I live in London? Yes.

Do I like Kaiser Chiefs, The Cribs, The Rakes, The Beatles, Blur, XTC, Bloc Party, The Clash, Pulp, Foo Fighters, The Libertines, The Automatic, Black Wire, Maximo Park, The Research, Jimi Hendrix, The Futureheads, Graham Coxon, the Blood Arm, The Lodger, The Who, Franz Ferdinand, The Kinks, Wire, Arctic Monkeys, The Chalets, We Are Scientists, The Strokes, Supergrass, Queen, Pixies and Dexy's Midnight Runners? Yes.

Is my e-mail address jadedickinson@gmail.com? Yes.

Incidentally.. am I of Asian descent? Yes, and my both my mum and English dad cook a mean curry. (a friendly tasty one, not a nasty bully of a curry)

!?!??!???!??!?!!!?!?!?!

Where the fuck have you been?!! You're getting an e-mail right the fuck right now, motherfucker! FUCK!

was it a match made in singing drummer heaven?

i feel we have a right to know.

for guthrie's sake; i hope so

for the thread; i hope so too.

having a drummer could take this to whole new levels of entertainment...