a pubic hair on my desk. I'm pretty sure it was mine. How the lordy lord did it get there? I'm fully clothed, and I don't carry my pubes around in my pocket or anything. In fact, I haven't been near little Judge since I got to work this morning.
How did my pube get on my desk?
Do you carry them around
in your manbag?
don't answer that...
Is it you who works with
Fanny Motel?
maybe its an old pube
or someone elses, A gift from an admirer?
has anyone else had access to your pubes recently?
maybe they put it there
the tramp?
Really?
That's amazing!!
I had a bet with a friend at work that I could throw a pube further than him.
His only got to the end of the street!
what proof do you have that it's yours?
is there one missing?
there's crablouse on it
dna test my be required
how would I test your be required?
Call Jeremy Kyle
it's ok... I'll stand in for him!
Does this make you happy?
Do you feel like a MAN?
You should be ashamed!!
As a father of two..
Don't you have anything to say?
You know what I think? I think you're scared!
have you sat on the edge of the stage yet?
look at me..come ON be a man..look in my eyes
I'm sat there now...
I want to get to the bottom of this, cos I don't think you realise exactly what's going on here.
Be a man!
Get a bloody rucksack!
They get everywhere
it's one of life's mysteries.
magic
you haven't been to the toilet allll daaay?
And you're 100%
sure that its yours? I'm just saying cos you don't want to collect random strangers pubes. Do you? DO YOU????
Did you have a crafty scratch?
could have ended up on your desk that way
You should dye them
a distinctively unpube-like colour so that you can be sure in future.
dye them grey
for that distinguished look
but there might be someone else with grey pubes
Better to go for something daring, like green.
it might look slightly diseased though
Ok then
a sexy pink?
questionable on a man
not a secure man
ok then, black, no-one would have black pubes.
eh?
A touch of
grey?
At school
in year 10 maths, I used to sit next to a special kid who once a lesson would reach into his trousers and deposit a handful of pubes on my exercise book. No wonder I was rubbish at long division.
*gag*
that's horrible.
vile
vile yuck
he'd just yank them out?
ouch!
Apparently
unless he had planned ahead and had a stash already plucked. I don't really want to get into the logistics of it.
its also disturbing
if he was saving them up to give to you
ew
the only way to avoid this problem
is to shave them off completely
but be very VERY
careful.
So you're saying I SHOULDN'T use
a black and decker flymo?
oh I don't know
give it a go. Maybe it'd be better to get someone to do it for you?
Yeah, good idea
I'll ask zxcvbnm
Maybe
just a hedge strimmer for more detail
It's all in the detail
you can get pube stencils these days.
Presumable
Also ok to use with dye. You could dye the name of your loved one into your pubes. A valentines treat.
thats very romantic
but they need a short name or you need a lot of pubes
There you go
all those people who were wondering what to do for Valentines, the perfect solution.
Eric would fit
nicely.
or just do
initials
but not
rumplestiltskin.
Yeah, if you could
manage that it's time for a trip to the beautician.
or 'cunt'
maybe a little crass
under the circumstances.
I'm sure I would
I really didn't see that one
coming!
you'll see me.....
no no no, stop that
To answer a few questions -
I would say it was definitely one of mine.
I've not been to the gents yet today.
I do not dye my pubes.
The tramp and I are close, but not that close.
I'm not a collector of other peoples pubes, unless they are a celebrity.
I think that has covered every point
is it from your underarm
or your chest?
yeah
"pube chest"
I've
got more hair on my eyeballs than I do on my chest.
That said, I have got particularly hairy eyeballs
have you got a flymo I can loan?
you can have it back by the weekend
Our
mower is petrol driven, that do you?