Indeed , the Dum Dums are merely Catch mark 2 but tonight's opening act Thirteen:13 incorporate the nucleus of those teenage Britpoppers. Featuring local boy Wayne on guitar looking like he's representing Newcastle in Mr Gormless 2000 , Thirteen:13's set has the confidence oozing but the audience snoozing. They sound like Radiohead when they still had tunes , just without the tunes. Like a less interesting version of REM , or like any of the other coma inducing wistful Jeff Buckley worshipping bands that we've already heard. At one moment in their set ("Truth Hurts") they sound like they have a quality that could set-them apart. Frontman Ben penetrating the soul with his adorable falsetto squirm "Does the truth hurt?/Cos these lies are killing me ." One time Graham Coxon bassist Toby has clearly been subverted by the Blur guitarist given that he dresses like a prick and has absolutely no character whatsoever. Infact , it's only the fact that he spends the entirety of the set with his eyes closed that prevents him from staring at his shoes. Frontman Ben's star quality clearly exists in embryonic form but his inabilty to write adequate songs is far more blatant. At the end of one song he climbs into the air and throws a cliched but utterly brilliant classic rock and roll guitar pose before telling the audience "I was paid a fiver to do that ." Says it all doesn't it ? Move along people , there is nothing to see here.
In contrast JJ72 have no need to jump on any bandwagon given that they ARE the bandwagon. The JJ72 cynics and critics are wasting their time in pointing out how blatant set-opener 'Long Way South' is a nod to mentors Placebo. For Richey Manic's sake , it's said as if a market saturated with Placebo clones isn't better than one full of middle-of-the-road , wilfully-underachieving copper arsed Teenage Fanclub fans preaching the gospel according to Del Amitri. JJ72 are far greater than the sum of their parts. Their softer moments stoelen from the Smashing Pumpkins , their choppy-propulsive guitar parts from Placebo , their bass-lines from Joy Division and their r-a-w-k whiteout classic guitar riff-a-go-go from the Manic Street Preachers but Greaney's voice sets them apart from all of their contemporaries. With his screams of "Summer dies/Autumn Arrives/Autumn Dies/Winter arrives forever!!!!!! " on 'Algeria' he effortlessly transforms the front 10 rows into a tumultuous moshpit of violent teenage angst. When he cries "You must employ my lies when I want you/But I don't need anyone " he manages to convince hundres of devoted indie-kids that someone feels their pain. I'll eat my own knees if this boy doesn't take to bedroom wall posters at the rate of , well, Hilary Woods. The Mrs Indie Cool to Mark's Mr. Being of generous build , she is the perfect role-model for 14-year old girls and , being the sexiest female currently occupying planet rock , the perfect masturbational fantasy for 14-year old boys. If JJ72 aren't stars by the end of the year I hereby, on behalf of guitar bands everywhere , declare war. It's time for the British music civil war. Rally the troops Lieutennant Greaney. We're going over the top.
