Discounting Wireless (and don’t we all?), the next big festival on the horizon is the biggest. The daddy. The grande fromage. Viewed as the greatest of them all, the one festival where the experience of the event far outweighs the quality of the bands on show, it’s a must-do on everyone’s calendar. So much so, that people who probably don’t even like music seem desperate to go. It’s a cultural thing, we’re told.
Really?
The last two Glastonbury Festivals were riddled by poor weather and an even poorer atmosphere. There are many good things about putting that giant steel fence around Avalon – no scallies ripping your tent off, less irritating crusties just being near you and, of course, the lack of fear about being crushed to death by mass overcrowding at the end of the night (see: Pyramid Stage, 2001). That’s particularly bad when you’re tripping your nuts off and you’ve just seen The Flaming Lips… And there’s a girl in a wheelchair just screaming in front of you… Screaming…. Screaming…
Sorry, I digress. There are good things about the fence, but it has turned Glastonbury (alongside coverage by the likes of the Guardian) into a middleclass tea party. There are many thousands of people there who wouldn’t know what a welly looks like if it wasn’t for a weekend round Pilton way. As a result, the atmosphere, sense of adventure and general anarchic joy has dissipated somewhat.
As has the level of bands.
Once Glastonbury was able to pull a hell of a headliner out of the bag almost every year (Bowie, Radiohead, REM etc), and easily persuaded bands that it was the only festival to play. At the time you knew that going to Somerset for your yearly pilgrimage was going to bring you the joys of a world-beating, exclusive-to-Glastonbury act. This year we have The Killers, Arctic Monkeys, Kaiser Chiefs and The Kooks on show – what’s special about that, exactly? Yes, there is The Who, but they’ve not exactly been reticent about shows recently, have they? Rumour has it that The Rolling Stones should have been playing the Pyramid Stage this year, but for reasons we can only imagine, they turned up at the financially lucrative Isle of Wight event instead. And then fucked festival-goers over by chartering a whole ferry for them and their mates, the hip-replacement-rocking pricks.
And you’d better pray it doesn’t rain. Given the bowl-like qualities of the surrounding area, Glastonbury is more susceptible to bad weather than most events. Having been to the filthy squalid events in 1997 and 1998, I can tell you that anyone talking about the ‘Glasto spirit’ is a massive fat liar who is having a shit time. The mud altercations of the last two Glastonbury Festivals were unpleasant but had nothing on the apocalyptically wank time you’d have had ten years ago. Look to the skies and beseech for sun. But, naturally, not too much: we are British, after all, and too much heat is a killer (see: Glastonbury 1999). You’ll be spread out, motionless, like a paraplegic rhino in the sun.
Yes, it is good fun. But no, it’s not the greatest show on earth. Not anymore. Diluted by its own popularity and its attempts to cater to a mainstream it never originally intended to court or embrace, Glastonbury is Just Another Festival now. The best of the lot still in certain eyes, but not untouchable.
Me? I’m off to Norway.
DiScuss: What are your best, and worst, Glastonbury memories? From our office quick-u-poll, we have these:
Mike Diver’s is being cold, wet, ravaged by a chilling wind and depressed with having nowhere to sit down with only the shit-prog of over-hyped flash-in-the-pan sorts Ultrasound for company.
Samuel Strang particularly enjoyed watching a man (hopefully on drugs) sitting on the floor, masturbating to Interpol.
Mark Mitchell was standing around waiting for The Cure to come on while, behind him, scousers were pushing a man in a wheelchair to the front in order to “see better”. Naturally the person in the wheel chair found the ability to watch the whole gig standing up. Incredible.
Gareth Dobson vividly recalls watching thousands of people covered in mud singly proudly along to ‘One Way’ by Glastonbury house band, The Levellers.
Tim Hall remembers the feeling of utter helplessness while being stranded in the middle of a muddy field by a particularly traumatised artist who had bailed out on a TV appearance and driven home without him. He had nowhere to go and no way of getting home.
Pyramid Stage, 2001??
2000 maybe?
.
Have they not given you free tickets?
It is the greatest show on Earth - knob off.
Jumping the fence
and landing in front of two horse mounted security guards. I panicked and swiftly jumped over the second fence - only to land in a pool of sewage. After that I smelt so bad that my friends disowned me and I had to seek refuge amongst the crusties, who took me in like an old friend.
Those were the days!
i got free tickets- therefore i like glastonbury.
this is my first time.
Glastonbury Is the greatest
I love Glasto.. I love the Eavis's.. they do put on the greatest show on earth.. something the rest of the world can never replicate and only look on with jealousy. So what if the scrounging, thieving, tax dodging gypos cant get in why should they be allowed in? they are tosspots like you Mr. Dobson. Anyone who has ever been to Glasto will know that unlike other festivals the bands are second to the venue. At Glasto, the organisers aren't after emptying your pockets ASAP like other festivals i.e V. You can spend as little or as much as you like. It has held on to it's ethics despite morons like Mr Dobson accusing it of selling out to the middle classes. Glasto remains and will always be the hottest ticket of the summer come rain or shine. Well done Michael & Emily and everyone else involved .
New User, 1 post on the site
Not sure how valid your opinions are.
Yes, well I forgot about the ethics
When I realised that five pounds couldnt buy me anything to eat
you've obvisouly
never been to the harikrishna tent then have you?
Erm?
Michael 'ungratious' Eavis... ?
The lineup is very middle of the road Indie. Just because you can doesn't mean you should (think spiderman with great power comes great responsibility). I seem to remember there are only about 5 bands on that main bill that aren't 'new bands'. How many times has the Killers played there?
You are right - Glastonbury isn't a festival about bands and for that very reason it would be wonderful to see some different talent brought in? Taraf De Haidouks? Tom Waits? Gotan Project? Manu Chao ? It currently looks like V festival.
'The organisers aren't after emptying your pockets like other festivals?' Aren't they? Are drinks any cheaper? Are the tickets any cheaper? Is there any less corporate sponsorship (wireless doesn't count). The answer is actually no.
Their charity giving isn't actually that much compared to other festivals either? But they do get a band bill in cheap probably compares to about 1 headliner of V or Reading.
Eavis' talks the talk and they shout it and cuss all else. But they don't acutally walk it - protest to much - which is especially unfair when those 'all else' are the ones sorting the toilets.
But they do put on a great party. Just wish Michael would be a little less of a grumpy old c**t about it.
Having said this
He did thank all his team today and said the CBE was for his team and punters... Maybe he was reading this post?
HA!
I've just remembered having some fantastic comedownsex on the tuesday morning after last time! we didn't leave until late tuesday eve, any other festival would have kicked us out on the monday, but that place goes on for weeks.
also my first sunrise at the stone circle was pretty special. and i have many other fantastic memories that i may or may not have made up after the events.
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Great memories of some poor fool, tripping his nuts off, wearing only an ill-advised pair of luminous yellow shorts, dancing (or rather swaying) in the mud and rain to The Ordinary Boys, and then thinking he had a chance with the ladies.
And some kid with a Super Soaker who took a particular dislike to one of the Thursday afternoon acts and proceeded to drench the lead singer for the duration of the set.
It could only happen at Worthy.
Glastonbury 2003
...has cemented the festival as the 'greatest show on earth' for many many years to come. Nothing can top that festival weekend... except maybe ATP.
I went in 1997
It was pretty shit.
Swimming in it,
really.
well...
discount Wire less all you want but I'm gonna see Daft Punk, LCD and CSS for £40.
also, included in that price is the option of pelting Calvin Harris, Mark-I-know-Lily-Allen-although-I-never-mention-it-Ronson and Plan B with anything I find lying around on the floor
bargain.
It's true
Glasto has lost it's spark. It's still special but not so much. Everything else has caught up with it.
10 years ago, you only really had Glasto and Reading. Now there's Leeds, T, V, Oxegen, Wireless, etc.
It simply can't hold quite the same appeal when the festival market is so diluted.
I'm off to Roskilde in a couple of weeks, and that's got all the Glasto headliners (Killers and Arctic Monkeys playing lower down the bill, where they should be) and Muse, and the Chilis.
:D
I would like to propose that
All Tomorrow's Parties is the best festival experience currently available.
Thank you.
^ this ^
glasto line up this year is awful.
i went to the radiohead, REM and Moby one, and even that was pretty shit a majority of the time.
I found the people there to be quite arsey and if this wasn't your 48th Glastonbury you were frowned upon. Like you didn't have a right to be there.
I thought this might be the case with ATP but...ATP was full of absolute heroes, 60 bands i WANTED to see (instead of 3 i wanted to see and 1,487 i didn't) and a fabulous time was had by all.Woop.
and after ATP I NEVER WANT TO CAMP AGAIN! theres something to be said for having a chalet with a telly. The bands start at a sensible time and the staff are all friendly/helpful (stupidly i put my wristband on too tight upon arrival - retard - but they changed it straight away - this wouldn't happen at carling weekend/glasto).
UK festivals on the majority are really badly arranged too and I think people have gone to town on festivals - how many are there this year???
Last count was 45.
Daft.
Wu
You, and your band, totally rock.
yes but
only cos you got to meet me
Hear this...
Trufacts x
That applied to IanJ
Not so much WuEtAl
i think i agree
but it went sooo quickly and leaving early on the Monday having to leave a clean chalet was a bit of a mission, i managed to get 1 hours kip as per my profile pic and felt hidious for a few days. oh hang on that was cause i had a good time. whatever i'll stop moaning
Primavera
Has totally cleared the field for me.
Accomodation - an apartment just of Las Ramblas.
The Bands - loads of great stuff, wall to wall music and i only saw once bad act.
The Experience/Non-Music stuff - BARCELONA!!!!
easy win for the Catalans.
GITS
My only glastonbury experience was in 2005 when not only did the place get flooded with shit, it was the summer of Make Poverty History, so the smell of Geldof was hanging round the place like, well, a bad smell.
The main annoyance was the stereotypical "revellers". You know the ones, the cunts covered in mud, getting thier filthy mushes all over BBC Three while Colin Murray fails miserably to do a link with out mentioning that he likes The Flaming Lips or Snow Patrol completely out of context.
Arseholes.
At least at Benicassim you get a bit of sun, a trip abroad and beer in two pint cups that doesn't cost you an arm and a kidney. TWO PINT CUPS! It makes a difference, trust me.
What is everyone's obsession
with slating this years Glastonbury line-up, seems like a massive case of sour grapes to me.
Bjork
Arcade Fire
The Guillemots
Bright Eyes
Beirut
The Earlies
Patrick Wolf
Vincent Vincent & The Villains
Emmy The Great
Fourtet
Willy Mason
Liam Frost
The Electric Soft Parade
Jeremy Walmsley
Catsandcatsandcats
!!!
Ed Harcourt
Cold War Kids
Simple Kid
Im not worried.
It's like saying the TV is shit because there's nothing good on BBC1
The main stages aren't all that but otherwise the lineup is fine this year. I mean are there really that many DiS-friendly major festival headline bands anyway? This is my first (I went to reading all through the 90s and ATP from 2002). Although I hate people that can't grasp the idea that you can have fun at another festival the one thing that Glasto has on the rest is the sheer number of stages. So you don't like anything you know on the lineup? Go and see something new, there are some quality African acts amongst other things. What Mr Dobson? You only like schmindie guitar bands and Battles? Maybe it's you that doesn't really like music.
Here we go
Going to stop grumbling about it now as have already bored mates and the board to death with my views. So to answer the question:
Best: 1994. Beastie Boys in the rain making an heroic return and unleashing Ill Communications on the English. Then a twenty minute walk later Rage Against the Machine on the main stage at the peak of their powers. Oh what a night.
That England game. What year was that? 1996? Incredible.
My mate calling Peter Gabriel a cunt.
Same odious mate nearly nailing Crispin Mills with a ball of mud and making him miss a line (I dont approve of this, honestly).
Worst - Tents being slashed, all money being stolen, no one going to see Built to Spill, the endless scallies running riot.
i entirely disagree because
yeah, some things have changed pre- and post- fence. When I went in the pre-fence days the atmosphere was different, but not appreciably to make it not worth the sodding hassle each year to get a ticket. And I won't argue that certain parts of the site have turned into a paean to hideous middle-class pseudo-deviant behaviour (Lost Vagueness is a haven of cunts nowadays) but on the whole the last two I went to (post- fence) were just as good, if not better than the pre-fence days.
And the lineup on the main stages isn't all that astonishing, but we still get enough bands who'll probably still do something special enough to make everyone there feel ridiculously lucky to just...y'know...be there. And I'm aware of how hippy that sounds, but it's true. Glastonbury is still the most inclusive, open place I have been in terms of music festivals in this country and yeah, there are some cocks there but the number in comparison to other events is minor.
Wireless? Are you serious? As a genuine competitor? Whatever you say about Glasto, and yeah it's become slightly more commoditised in recent years but it's still nowhere near the corporate clusterfuck of other UK festivals. And yeah, there's usually a significant risk of Geldof, but the site is so massive that it's possible to not even see the cunt.
And yeah, the Kooks are playing, but so are Arcade Fire. For the Killers there's Squarepusher, for the Kaiser Chiefs you've got Bloc Party, for the Arctic Monkeys there's Beirut. The main stage has got appreciably worse, but in inverse relation to the other stages, which never fail to be brilliant.
Hell, I can't wait.
Oh man.
I wish I'd gone to ATP.
It's funny
In the years that I went from 95-2000, I clearly remember talkinig at length about how unjust it was that sooooo many people (they estimated 50,000) were getting in for nowt, it stretched all facilities (Getting water during the day meant a bit of a 20 min que!) and created some ridiculous crushes between acts. It didn't seem fair, and we thought they really had to do something to sort it out!!
They sorted out that problem and I really can't be arsed to go back!
We're never happy are we!
Mainstages at any festival,
are never hosts to new innovative/great bands, so contemplating their worth against other festival headliners is pointless, but I suppose it’s down to what you’re after, this will be my 3rd time there and I can honestly say I’ve probably seen max 3 bands on the main stag at glasto…I am off to glasto next week, and will be spending most of my time (as I expected, round the dance tent, jazz world stages, basically the smaller stages…for the electronica/drum n bass etc) noisia, adam f shitmat, squarepusher et al…
Difference with glasto and other festivals, is that I won’t be treated like a school child prior to entering the “arena” , searched and stripped of bottles of water, cans of alcohol etc…glasto, im free to roam around, go back and forth to my tent without any interrogation.
The headline acts are less than 10% of all the bands playing, and even less of the event it’s self, if you’re in it for the big headliners/big named bands playing throughout…then perhaps reading or Leeds is probably a better option.
God, it’s gonna rain, so much!
Glasto 1984
Grim looking miners stomping around the field in hobnail boots with buckets, collecting for their strike. Greenham Common woman called Jane ranting into the mike on the Pyramid stage about US air bases. Weather Report roadies pouring oil down the tin sheets at the front of the stage, to stop the expected stage storming frenzy, while all sixty of us sitting down in front of the stage took the piss out of them
Old man
My first festival was Glastonbury 89. The wristbands were removable, so me and a mate got in for £5 each. Saw Elvis Costello, The Proclaimers and The Waterboys on the Main stage, as there was fuck all else to see. Spent the rest of the weekend winding up hippies and taking drugs. Woo! Have been to Reading 7 times and Download 3 times since then, but never made it back to Glasto, the stoopid ticket thing puts me off, can't be arsed
1998
pissed it down the moment the bands started, half froze to death, lost my shoes in the mud after witnessing a staggering spiritualized set on mushrooms only to traipse, shoeless, to my tent to discover some scally cunt had robbed me. complete and utter shite.
Way to overlook Bjork when mentioning the headliners...
Cheer up darlin'
I've never heard such a bunch of miserable cunts. yeah, the line-up this year isn't great. so what? i went in 2005, awoke at 6am to find our tent being washed away in a river and still had a fucking amazing time. one of my mates didn't have a wank for 17 days after glastonbury that year because he was so depressed. that's how good it was.
...
is Glastonbury all that?
Nah- but it is all twat.
'Whoah I work in the city but still like rock n roll you know- I'll go to Glastonbury and watch something like cypress Hill and shout 'put you mutherfuckin guns in the air' and then return to my suit, well paid office and nice town pad, safe in the knowledge I'm a fucking tourist'
A festival for fools.
uhm
most of the festival goers I know are people with poor taste in music, going there just because their friends go, because they vaguely like a band or two, because they'll take a lot of drugs/drinks, etc.
I'm not surprised the level has stooped either, organizers just try to force in more bands than needed. My latest festival was Hurricane in Germany last year, it had something like 56 bands, and I remember leaving early because it got more and more boring as time was passing. On the other hand, small inner city things like Birmingham's Supersonic are quality.
Festivals are great for the whole overall experience, but they definitely are not for people who really care about music and bands, much rather for people who want to have a good time whatever clown is on stage.
Come on
Look, Glastonbury's line up is not the greatest this year, but it'll still piss over anything else as far as an experience goes. Primavera looks ace, the line-up was unbelievable, but I feel quite connected to Glastonbury in an almost patriotic way.
It was fucking weird in 2005 when that storm rolled in. The whole vale went misty. Theres definitely an atmosphere about the place, don't know if its caused by the arthurian legends, ley lines etc. I don't believe in any of that shit, but its very very weird.
Be nice if Sigur Ros were there though. Is it true they are at T in the Park or did somebody make that up.
^ This...
is a very valid point. I've fed up of jebends boasting about going to Reading/Download/Glasto after they've just stopped listening to the Kooks/Orson/James Morrison on their pink iPod minis.
Music lovers? Nuts to that really.
allwaystired...
that's such a fucking cliched opinion. Get a grip.
I hate...
...all this 'middle class' talk. What does that even mean? I'm middle class. Is that OK? So's about 60% of the country, apparently.
"Middleclass tea party" my arse. The unfair stereotype you are actually referring to is 'posh', and even then who cares?
And all this moaning about the conditions! Oh dear, it's too hot or too wet. Cry me a fucking river. Here's a tip: use your brain and remember you're at a festival, so prepare properly.
The only point this article makes that's actually fair, reasonable, and not saturated with reactionary prejudice is the one about the quality of the bands. That's not even Eavis' fault.
Who do you suggest he tries to get in? He's doing his job: he's signing up the biggest bands around - it's not his fault that's now people like Coldplay or the Killers: it's ours.
I really disagree with that
If you look at the bands in the UK/europe at the moment, there is an amazing line up trying to get out, but they are all playing other festivasls as the clearly pay more. I'm afraid Glasto needs to decide if it wants to compete or be a fun festival with a cheap line up. Some acts that spring to mind:
Daft Punk
LCD Soundsystem (surely the perfect act!)
Ryan Adams
Battles
Vetiver
QOTSA
White Stripes (okay they headlined recently)
I really dont want to go.
What none of those bands has ever played Glasto?
Not sure about Vetiver and Battles but the rest have all definitely played Glastonbury. And face it, who apart from people that visit this site actually give a shit about either of them (Vetiver were the dullest act in an otherwise brilliant day at the Banhart ATP).
Yeah I accept
that line up is a personal thing.
I just remain gutted at the lack of anything of interest on the small stages this year.
BUT I fully accept its a personal thing.
Was just
trying to list bands that would have made the line up less Jo Wiley, that are nearby at the moment and have chosen to play other festivals.
did anyone?
did anyone manage to jump th fence last time, is it possible?!!??!
I attended in '05
the atmosphere was immensely depressing for the most part in the daytime.
This certainly picked up as the night arrived though.
Agreed
I went in 2005 and it was horrible.
First, my money got stolen so I felt totally lost all weekend. The people who went with - bar one - decided it was time to ruin their body with drugs and me being the not druggie type, just sat there being bored.
I didn't dare venture off because everywhere was so big and everywhere was so muddy, which made me worry and then I had panick attacks.
I spent all the weekend in my tent crying with my friend who was also in the same situation as me. If it wasn't for her, I would have packed my bags on the Friday.
Yes, it is the big festival of the year and it's now become a UK milestone, but it's just not for some people.
I like bands and being able to stage hop without fear of drowning or getting lost. I'm doing Leeds for the last time this year and then, it's time to be a grown up.