Is this common?
There's a girl who this time last year I'd probably have described as one of my best friends but now I really dread being in a situation where I have to talk to her 'cos conversation's suddenly a real effort.
And I've realised the same's true of someone else who I was quite close to for a short while but have now been pretty much avoiding for the last 2 months.
The first one hasn't noticed really (which says a lot in itself) but the second one said something a while back. I reassured her but have since continued to avoid any meaningful contact with her.
Is this unusual behaviour or does everyone do it? Are there likely to be people secretly avoiding me that I'm not aware of?
I mean you can't suddenly say to someone "I don't want us to be friends anymore 'cos we clearly have nothing in common so why should we both waste our time making the effort to maintain the pretence".
Or can you?
perfectly normal.
I dread being left alone with people that years ago I hung around with for days on end.
Dumping friends
is always tricky. I am currently dumping a friend because I realised she was annoying. Now I feel bad for ignoring her texts and messages, but what can you do.
Its not like you can go out and actually say "lets not be friends, you are dull"
I did the brutal thing when i was a teen
...wouldn't now. But - yes - when friendship becomes an effort rather than a pleasure you just need to scale down time with them. Plus - they probably think the same too.
I don't think one of them does feel the same unfortunately.
A while bit noticed me making less effort to talk her and got a bit upset/confused as to the reason why. Which I did feel pretty bad about.
.
Other than work/college/flat mates, and family, there is no need to be friends with people if you feel there is no common ground. Simple.
People drift apart.
However, it is odd to deliberately avoid someone.
It's not exactly deliberately avoiding...
...so much as avoiding a situation where I have to speak at any length.
If I see them I'll make small talk and be friendly, just also look round for someone else I can bring into the conversation so we don't have to think of things to say to each other.
and then get away as soon as possible.
no it's not.
I've been deliberately avoiding people my whole life.
I've never actively avoided any friends...
But then I'm basically a pretty terrible friend, so it just kind of happens.
^
this
i am the worst friend EVER!