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Chart round-up: Robyn Kleers Up! Nash slays Potts!

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by Kev Kharas

The top 40 - back to normal. Unshackled from the cuffs that bound it to Rihanna for ten weeks over this strange summer, the weekly chart round-up can now get back to being an increasingly dystopic sound bite on success stories bound only by their brevity. "Too innovative for the world" Timbaland's off the top.

Who put him on his arse? The admittedly rather brilliant producer has seen his title stolen by slow-burning Scandinavian popstress Robyn and producer Kleerup. 'With Every Heartbeat' topples 'The Way I Are'. A bunch of pigeons scrap over a mouldy crust.

VMA nominee Kanye West comes to pump new blood into the top three, his 'Stronger' single sitting pretty above Prince infatuater Kate Nash on digital sales alone. More from her later. Elsewhere, there are new entries for Elliot Minor, Darren Hayes and David Guetta at 19, 20 and 21 respectively.

Next topic for conversation - big jumps. You have to drop some way into the backwaters of the singles chart for these - Winehouse is there, up 13 to 24 with 'Tears Dry On Their Own'. Heeeeeeerooooooooin. In chart terms, she is. After that there isn't much to report; Richard Hawley, though, will be chuffed at grazing the top 40 with 'Tonight The Streets Are Ours' climbing from 118 to, er, 40. Still - A.R.E.T.H.A.

The big story in the album chart is the titanic battle that wasn't really, between Nash and Paul Potts. Made of Bricks pisses all over One Chance and pretty much everything else in the album charts this week to give the LDNR the number one she missed out in the singles chart. That'll teach you to try and sell opera to the common man, Potts.

The Coral go in at eight, with new record Roots and Echoes, while Kubb-alikes Ben's Brother gash-crash the top 25 with Beta Male Fairytales - up from 102! Believe me, please, when I say that's all there is to say about the hit parade this week.

Danke.


??

is that the Robyn that Stylus and Pitchfork have been creaming themselves over for the past couple of years? The one who makes the sort of music internet nerds describe as "great pop", but which never gets anywhere near denting the mainstream (MIA, i'm looking at you).

Turn up for the books, innit?


she's like a shit version of annie, no?

and Annie wasn't that good anyway...


oh yeah, Annie

she's the prime example i was trying to think of. MIA was what i settled on


M.I.A - great pop?

militant Tamil supporting bhangra-hiphop-grime makes for "great pop"?

As for that Robyn tune, it's pretty bland. On a par with The Way I Are (which is still a ludicrously bad song title). Not a patch on Show Me Love, which is a choooon.

Nash, congrats, give her a biscuit, hopefully she'll fuck off now. I bet Universal are indulging in some self-indulgent backslapping for moving the release date forward, in a month's time the backlash will surely be so strong she'd struggle to make the top spot.


indulging in self-indulgence?

how convoluted, allow me to rectify that to 'self-congratulatory backslapping'.


truth

but i reckon in the not too distant future she'd struggle to make anywhere near the top spot. The backlash is already on the rise, and as soon as Edith Bowman says something negative about her or Chris Moyles does a "comedy" pisstake her entire paper thin career will come crashing down. Such is the razor's edge of hot-or-not, ludicrous/"genius" she currently skirts


What's that about

Kate Nash being a 'Prince infatuater'?


i prefer

'cunt'. Much more succinct.


DiS has been sullied

with that disgraceful picture of Robert van Winkle.

SORRY

I meant van Persie.

But seriously van Winkle (as in, Vanilla Ice) and van Persie (as in, prolific Arsenal forward) - separated at birth?


I [heart] Robyn's tune

Timbaland and his awful grammar can fuck off.


i remember...

robyn from 96 or something. forget the song but im sure she played it on the saturday kids show with gail porter. it was ace. that is all.


i remember the name...

'Do You Really Want Me' woohoo better than peter andre. saw a copy of flava for sale in a market last week too. 50p! why did i not buy it?





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