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The Worst Band Eh-ver!

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? by oceanRain
I have discovered, unequivocally, the worst band ever. A Finnish metal band called Children of Bodom.

Skater kid: "Can you play that on guitar."
Me: "No," I said truthfully.
Skater: "Pretty difficult, eh?"
Me: "Very."

He didn't catch the sarcasm which was just as well. Was this horrible mish-mash fingertapping whinning leads over basic metal distortion with a singer from the river Styx. Bloody awful.

On a positive note, the youngster is picking up the guitar rather quickly. Expect the next Tool to come out of Newport Beach here in a couple years. No need to thank me.

Name the worst band to (dis)grace our planet:

PS I automatically reject all wisecrackers' 'Libertines' posts in advance!
oceanRain | 27 Apr '05, 17:48 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Puddle of Mudd or the Others

my hatred for the Sugababes goes beyond petty concepts of good and bad.
fullerov | 27 Apr '05, 17:53 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Oragne Goblin and White Knuckle Blackout are pretty wack!

Hey Ocean,
Do you know of Lou's Records in Solana Beach on highway 101?!?! Its a mecca for old punk rock vinyl and original merchandising! I was there last xmas and was treated to a sick Kerry King guitar demo type thing! I want 15 Taco Bell Bean Buritos.
ralphcore | 27 Apr '05, 17:54 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

For me....it would be Oasis.
Kleeb | 27 Apr '05, 17:55 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

orange goblin are a motorhead and beer fueled good time heavy metal party machine !

everyone knows the others are one of the worst bands doing the rounds today !
soapy | 27 Apr '05, 17:56 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Orange Goblin are fuckin fantastic you trouser
james_delve | 28 Apr '05, 18:00 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Nah-uh. mr ralph you might wanna check out Vinyl Solutions for that same sort of thing here in Huntington Beach (which is the store I was refering to in an earlier post.) next time you grace our shores.

Your 3 for a dollar burritos are in the mail. No worries.
oceanRain | 27 Apr '05, 17:59 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Has anyone heard the new Electric Six record?

*shudder*
John_Brainlove | 27 Apr '05, 18:01 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Ahahaha. Yes.

*shudder*
Dill | 27 Apr '05, 18:04 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

For me it is the Smiths or the Others. Towers of London are rapidly drifiting into my most hated band category and I've only heard half of one (bloody dreadful) song.
mcsean_lpool | 27 Apr '05, 18:07 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

THE SMITHS?????
HUH?
smallpox_champion | 27 Apr '05, 18:08 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Dont bother, been through this many a time, he wont budge.
thedaythatthatcherdies | 27 Apr '05, 18:09 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

see the words "for me", sc? That means that they are the (joint) worst band ever for ME.
mcsean_lpool | 27 Apr '05, 18:10 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I fully accept that they may be your most hated band but I'm just a bit suprised. I mean I've meant people before who were completely neutral to the Smiths but I can't recall anyone else who has said them to be the worst band ever. It's fine if that's your choice but it appears that there really is no universally liked band.
smallpox_champion | 27 Apr '05, 18:26 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

To say they're the worst band ever is just plain ignorant. I can completely accept that you don't like them but its plain to see that they're a fucking good band. You can say with a straight face that Oasis and The Others are 'better' bands than The Smiths?

Fuck off.
Thom_fa | 28 Apr '05, 01:29 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I didn't say the Others were better than the Smiths.
mcsean_lpool | 28 Apr '05, 12:00 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I think I was drunk when I wrote that message, so excuse the rudeness etc, but in declaring The Smiths the worst band ever (in reply to the thread title), you are also saying that every other band ever (ie The Others, Oasis) is better than them.
Thom_fa | 28 Apr '05, 17:04 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I agree entirely with Thom_fa here. I don't like the Smiths at all, but 'worst band ever' should be reserved for truly worthless vehicles, in my view...

...like Embrace.
iShotTheDeputy | 28 Apr '05, 19:10 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Alrite alrite, i take it back. No need to apologise for your crudeness Thom, if anything we need more of it. They aren't the worst band ever, I just don't particularly like them thats all.
mcsean_lpool | 28 Apr '05, 19:12 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: attack of the Morrissey obessives part II

its a weird choice but a valid one nonetheless. music is subjective, so any band in the world can be the worse band in the world, if its that persons view.
deathmike | 2 May '05, 20:00 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I was just as thrown by the idiot who singled out Oasis. Sure, Oasis has lost their luster, but they're certainly not talentless! P.S. The Smiths were greatness!

Tell me you hate Hoobastank, though! Oh, and System of a Down are just putrid! What they make is NOT music!
easymalice | 29 Apr '05, 14:47 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

cunt.
alcxxk | 30 Apr '05, 05:13 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Damn, dude! Care to elaborate? I mean, whose honor are you trying to defend? Tell me why I'm a cunt, or are you just at a loss for words because you hadn't really a point to your insult?
easymalice | 2 May '05, 18:47 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

you are a cunt because you are falling into the whole "OMG METAL IS NASTY NOISE LOL!!!!!!!!!!" debate most favoured by the kind of indie fan who measures a bands quality by how much they sound like another band from the 60's.

you can hate System of a down, and the whole genre of metal, thats fine, but you have to admit its music. music you don't like, but music none the less.

godammit, if SOAD scare you so much, I'd hate to see what you'd make of Botch or Buzrum
deathmike | 2 May '05, 19:54 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

^pretty much what he said.
gah.
alcxxk | 2 May '05, 19:59 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Um, I don't recall bashing metal music entirely. If I did, forgive me. I am partial to Metallica. And I'm not scared of System of a Down, I just don't like their sound. Also, I'm more into bands by how much they sound like new wavers of the eighties--not the '60s.
easymalice | 3 May '05, 18:46 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

towers of london are complete shit
soapy | 27 Apr '05, 18:10 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

new order are my personal bug bear.
furvert | 27 Apr '05, 18:13 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

New Order? Are you fucking serious? Please tell me you're mentally impaired right now! New Order?! They're perfect!
easymalice | 29 Apr '05, 14:50 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Morrtis
Wednesday 13
scissor sisters
KEANE
embrace
Fag Ferdinand
Snow Patrol
-are just a few of the 'bands' hat i truely HATE!

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Id Love me a Double Western Steak Burger from the 1 and only Carls Jr. right about now! And of course a cool 40 to wash it all down. Are the Vons staff still on strike? whats the surf like near you? what dyou prefer Marshalls or Ross? do you ever go into a Barnes and Noble and just sit there and read punk books all day long? Oh man, i miss Moonlight Beach and that hot bitch: Lea i MEAT there last time! memoriesss..........
ralphcore | 27 Apr '05, 18:20 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

"Fag Ferdinand "

are you 13years old ?
soapy | 27 Apr '05, 18:22 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

you've used the 'what are you like a 13 yr old' already - NO im not. Im just really stupid for my age = Fag Ferdinand and Cunt Patrol - what you gonna do? *takes shirt off, stands up, chugs beer!
ralphcore | 27 Apr '05, 18:26 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Cunt Patrol? Come on you can do better than that, how about Ho Patrol.
smallpox_champion | 27 Apr '05, 18:27 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Don'y you remember what happened last time, dipshit?
John_Brainlove | 27 Apr '05, 18:27 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

not actually knowing what John is on about, Ralph chooses to hazard a guess anyhoo:

Beanbag got offended and like stuff?
ralphcore | 27 Apr '05, 18:30 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I think that Kasabian are the worst band of the last year or so. Oasis and The Verve are some older bands that i really don't like. Not hate, because i don't really hate that much, but they won't be on my christmas card list.

Bodom are actually a pretty good band if you take them in the spirit they are intended. Its more of a joke band than anything. Not many serious bands would have songs called "Bodom Beach Terror". Check out Casey Jones for some lovely straight-edge mockery as well. Very good.
Adrian_Denial | 27 Apr '05, 18:28 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

What happened, Ralph, was that you revealed yourself to be a semi-literate anti-gay right-wing neanderthal with sludgy, illogical, badly-thought-out, bigoted ideas about the world. You really wanna go down that road again?

I think Bloc Pumpy are pretty fucking poor actually. One semi-good song to their name. But even in their one semi-good song, When Kele yowls "I'm on fire", I kinda wish he was. There's no conviction there. It's lame. "I'm on fire" is such a cliched lyric anyway... Franz Ferdinand sounded much more convincing on "This Fire".
John_Brainlove | 27 Apr '05, 18:37 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I don't remember the "I'm on fire" lyric in Helicopter?

(That is actually me being ironic, btw! I just think Helicopter is fantastic. Everything else I've heard has left me cold.)

As for 'worst band eh-ver', it's a tough sort of choice...No actually it isn't because Embrace really do have no redeeming features.
iShotTheDeputy | 27 Apr '05, 19:23 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

the kaiser chiefs.

*bang*

killed them all with one bullet. i rule.
wishpig | 27 Apr '05, 19:27 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Aww, I'll miss those Kaiser Chiefs. I have to give it up to you though for getting them all with a single bullet: You do rule! Next time use your abilities on Avril Lavigne.
easymalice | 4 May '05, 14:45 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

'Im on fire' was the chrous lyric in Banquet...

'Im on fire, when she comes' ?? sure you are Kele.
ralphcore | 27 Apr '05, 19:51 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Yes. You note where straight after I said I was being ironic?

It's a word that means to be sarcastic, which means that I knew where the lyric was from, but was deliberately appearing not to understand in order to make my point.

Possibly you need to watch a lot of Blackadder. It will help you get this sort of humour. (Or in my case, 'humour', since it was, as I admitted, a fairly pathetic turnaround joke.)
iShotTheDeputy | 28 Apr '05, 01:23 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

"I just think Helicopter is fantastic. Everything else I've heard has left me cold."

ditto
pretty_vacant | 27 Apr '05, 20:07 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I don't know how anyone can say 'Fag' Ferdinand are the worst band ever, Take me out must be liked by everyone, and the people who dislike it are LIARS!

For me, its gonna be:

The Music
Moron 5
the Kills
Kraftwerk


wrightylew | 28 Apr '05, 19:22 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Razorlight
The Others
Keane
Athlete (though Wires is OK)
The Darkness
Aidan78 | 27 Apr '05, 19:31 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The Others are probably the worst band ever...

personally I hate Kasabian and the Kaiser Chiefs a whole lot more, and Oasis really get my goat.
i-deserve-to-be-in-your-band | 27 Apr '05, 19:33 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

fucking U2. i actually do hate them. and yes, i have heard war, and the joshua tree, and i still think they fucking suck.
however, i am sure there are worse bands out there somewhere (our local metallica/chili's cover band could certainly compete)
pretty_vacant | 27 Apr '05, 19:57 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Yes i am there with you on U2! Have been campaigning against them for years DAMN YOU BONO
Brand_New_Hero | 28 Apr '05, 10:56 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I add my voice to the U2 hatred. Fucking wank, and whatI've heard of the earlier things that have a reputation is even worse than the shit they turn out now.

I also want to propose The Cure. Not the worst band ever by any stretch of the imagination (but we seem to be ignoring crap like Big Brovaz or Mystique or whatever) but they are dreadful and so many people rate them so highly. Really pisses me off.
rapscalion-jones | 28 Apr '05, 20:11 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Re Electric 6. Other youngster kid I know. Apparently VHS or Beta opened for them here the other night. Anyway, he plays them for me. VHS or Beta had some merit. Electric 6 was just awful.

The kinder, gentler me said, "VHS or Beta is pretty good." Positive vibes. That's what I'm all about. ;-)
oceanRain | 27 Apr '05, 19:58 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Interpol - horrid little band
Editors - even worse
The Departure, The Bravery, Battle and all the other retro shite around at the moment
PostModernPostMortem | 27 Apr '05, 20:14 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Jukebox Fury or something. Conceptual band based on a jukebox which swallowed all the music inside and spewed out crap. Or so i've heard.
less_than_zero | 27 Apr '05, 20:18 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

good charlotte or any other 'punk' bands really tick me off
katietatie | 27 Apr '05, 20:24 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Keane.
There is nothing about them that even comes close to being tolerable
nomis_dp | 27 Apr '05, 20:50 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Stereo-fucking-phonics.
Manic-fucking-street-twat-preachers
U-fucking-2

All those metal cunts.

Lostfuckingprophets.

Kaiser Posh Cunt CHiefs
fourfootvauxhallcarlton | 27 Apr '05, 20:56 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The 'Tossers of London'.
homesick_alien | 27 Apr '05, 21:15 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The worst band eh-ver?

I'd have to go for Goldfinger. fucking rubbish.
Gashwrecker | 28 Apr '05, 08:51 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

You're wrong about Children of Bodom, they're really good at what they do. With Cradle of Filth in the same genre, there's no way Bodom are the worst band ever.
kovacs | 28 Apr '05, 10:12 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

um, cradle of filth aren't in the same genre mate. go look at www.metal-archives.com for some more info. i think they describe cradle as "extreme goth-metal" whereas bodom are more of a death+roll/swedish style of metal. kinda entombed-ish but with more keyboards.
Adrian_Denial | 28 Apr '05, 10:35 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

ah, okay, I stand corrected. I still like Children of Bodom though, you can't take that away from me...
kovacs | 28 Apr '05, 11:14 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

whilst I'm tempted to say the Beatles, due to my all encompassing loathing of them, even I am not biased enough to claim them to be worse than The Others(not the sixties group, the awful new pretenders)........or the Libertines/Babyshambles. I don't know why saying the Libertines is supposed to be a wisecrack.......

Those bands are all utterly shit because they write cheesy songs with typical indie chord patterns and then come up with an already well known phrase or terrible dadpuns to be the chorus/tagline.......and then they play and sing them badly...great!

Pete Docherty hit generator.

1/Pick typical indie chords- E. A and B, and hang on an A minor at the end of each verse

2/Pick well known phrase...erm 'takes one to know one'

3/Terrible Dadpun 'I can't put the kettle on cos it don't fit'

4/Smoke crack and play shitly

5/Smack up, sing lead vocals badly

6/Tell the press about your sad addictions

7/Wait for your hard earned cash to roll in.

The second worst song I've ever heard is called 'hooligans on e'....by Kill City. Shit performance-kill City
Shit song-Docherty's own.
grockle | 28 Apr '05, 11:13 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The Smiths
Keane
Towers of London

How can you like Morissey? He had daffodils in his pocket ffs!
Thomp | 28 Apr '05, 12:06 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The Smiths
Keane
Towers of London

How can you like Morissey? He had daffodils in his pocket ffs!
Thomp | 28 Apr '05, 12:06 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Does Atomin Kitten count?
marilyninthesky | 28 Apr '05, 17:01 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Technically they do not fall into the category known as a band As to most people it is better to remember them more as a bad dream...
Brand_New_Hero | 28 Apr '05, 17:55 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

I've always thought The Doors were shockingly bad.
The_Glory | 28 Apr '05, 18:11 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The Sex Pistols are the most over rated shit piles i have ever heard with no musical talent and a lead singer with an incredibly annoying voice.
Psychedelia | 28 Apr '05, 21:16 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

um excuse me, what about the ultimete #### band
Evanessence
zakkrastaII | 28 Apr '05, 21:33 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Kaiser Chiefs-What the fuck is with the "oooo" in every song? Fucking cunts
The Strokes-I used to like them. Then I realised they were fucking cunts.
Oasis-Stnuc
Stereophonics-Had the misfortune of going to see them live a couple of years ago. It was then I realised that Kelly is short for FUCKINGCUNTOFTHEHIGHESTPEDIGREE
HelloQuaile | 28 Apr '05, 21:54 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

yeah the fucking ooohs in every song, theyve really overdone that. The others are awful!
ghosts | 29 Apr '05, 15:38 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Someone hasn't forgiven Johnny Rotten for the death of prog rock.
The_Glory | 28 Apr '05, 22:45 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Johnny didn't kill it. It commited suicide...;)
Carian | 29 Apr '05, 14:52 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

If I say I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Embrace, do I have to stop posting on DiS?

Or can I balance it out by having a go at ralphcore?
voiceofthepeople | 29 Apr '05, 15:51 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Limp Biscuit are shocking! Keep rollin and all that stuff. They are the type of band that ruin music!
Snoopy | 29 Apr '05, 17:30 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Definitely KYO !
50% Keane 40% Limp Bizkit 10% Dashboard confessional.
100% crap french lyrics.

Everyone should check them to see how bad they are !
lyle | 29 Apr '05, 19:52 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

Some mentalist upthread mentioned Kraftwerk! One of the best and most important bands ever ya mook!

Awful awful bands...

Keane
The Others
Kasabian
The Music
Evanesence
Rooster
Limp Bizkit
Richard Ashcroft solo
Killers
Bravery
Shed Seven
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Asia
Styx

Stew_beard | 30 Apr '05, 01:50 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The Noise Next Door should be hung, drawn and quartered
TheBoyDeadly | 30 Apr '05, 04:08 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

hahah this brings out so much hate in us ... well i really hate boy bands that are trying to become rock bands

like McFly, Busted, Rooster
`pukes`
eskimo_bob18 | 30 Apr '05, 05:04 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

i can't believe no one has said Sum 41. They are fucking shite, saw them live, wanted to drown myself in my beer.
In the words of Super Hans "bunch of wankers."
blingblingbling | 3 May '05, 13:42 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: The Worst Band Eh-ver!

The Shitness.
Joke's over now boys, the spandex eighties are sick of you and Ugmo Hawkins should never ever have been let out into broad daylight.
Psyche | 3 May '05, 13:51 | Send note |