Old man said be an Arsenal fan...

I said "BOLLOCKS, FUCK OFF YOU'RE A CUNT".

everytime an opposition player gets injured at barnet:

der der da der, da der der der der der der DIE!

Park, Park, wherever you may be,
You eat dogs in your country
It could be worse, you could be a Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house

pure poetry, that.

"after all, you're my jamie camp-bell"

<Insert name> is illegitimate,
he ain't got now birth certificate,
he's got AIDS and he can't get rid of it,
DIRTY BASTARD DIRTY BASTARD DIRTY BASTARD.

To Volare:

NEMANJA
WOAH
NEMANJA
WOAH
HE COMES FROM SERBIA
HE'LL FUCKING MURDER YER

YOU ARE A SCOUSER
A DIRTY SCOUSER
YOU'RE ONLY HAPPY
ON GIRO DAY
YOUR MUM'S OUT TEETHING
YOUR DAD'S DRUG-DEALING
SO PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY HUBCAPS AWAAAAY

When Joseph Desiré Job was playing for us:

"There's only one Job on Teesside, one Job on Teeeessssside..."

to the tune "in our liverpool homes" by some scouser (cilla black?)

"You look in the dustbins
for something to eat
Your find a dead cat
and you think its a treat

In your liverpool slums

Your mums on the game
and your dads in the nick
he cant get a job
cos hes too fucking thick

in your liverpoll slums"

nice eh?

isn't this a thread on f365?

And I think most pop up around Scotland, particularly when playing the old firm:

"The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round, round and round"

"Bring back my stereo, bring back my stereo"

"You're only here on your giros, Here on your giros"

"Feed the weeeeegies, let them know it's Christmas time!"

after scottish goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

"Yeah mate yeah, yeah mate yeah, yeah mate yeah..."

was a Jamaican striker who played two games for Coventry a few years ago, before being arrested for possessing a kilo of crack cocaine. At the next away game we sang:

He's big
His black
His car is full of crack
Onandi Lowe, Onandi Lowe

...shags his mum, shags his mum, shags his mum, Gary Neville shags his mum. Phillip doesn't.

Everton fans :)

the best i've heard is

"you got your shirts from matalan!
you got your shirts from matalan!"

etc etc repeat until bored.

also http://www.footballchants.org

about legendary defender Djimi traore

don't blame it on hamman
don't blame it on finnan
don't blame it on biscan
blame it on traore

he just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet

tune is well obvo innit

was apparently asked by a journo
what would you be if you weren't a footballer?

he replied; a virgin

not a chant but made me smile

My only Solskjaer
You make me happy
When skies are grey
Alan Shearer
Was so much dearer
So please don't take my Solskjaer away

Went to lift Frank Lampard
FivemenfourmenthreementwomenonemanFORKLIFTTRUCK! went to lift Frank Lampard

When Sol Campbell was going a bit mental last year...(to the tune of Lord of the March)

Sol, Sol, wherever you may be,
You're on the verge of lunacy,
And we don't give a fuck if you're hanging from a tree,
You Judas cunt with HIV

Sung at the Lane, obv.

'Your mum's your dad
your dad's your mum
you're interbred
you're Yorkshire scum'

also

'Corner kick, corner kick, corner kiiiiick!'

And chants about the referees good and consistent decision making.

Blame it on Traore (sang like blame it on the boogie).

Or this one

Town full of faggots, your just a town full of faggots. (Song about Brighton).

HE'S SHIT
HE PLAYS WHEN NO-ONES FIT
IT'S CYGAN

But their old Traore chants were quite good (sung to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

Please don't look too surprised
When you're sythed from behind
By Traore

If you get round the back
And you're suddenly hacked
That's Traore

Yes his footwork is nice
Just like Bambi on ice
That's Traore

I selected three because it can go on for bloody ever.

And then there's the Ispwich to Norwich chant at the last derby:

"We've got a millionaire!
You've got a drunken mare!"

Tim FUCK FUCK SHIT Howard

We drink champagne,
we snort cocaine,
we've got ladies over here.
You've got shit jobs,
you shag your dogs and your wife is on the game.
we've got wide cars,
we've got wine bars,
we've got gardens over here
you've got bus stops,
second hand shops
and a toilet at the rear.

Beckham, Beckham
Where do you live, Stretham?
That's full of wankers, AND YOU'RE ONE

Save the whales!
Save the whales!
We're the famous Tartan Army,
And we're here to save the whales!

chelsea chant at man u home games.

"youve come so far and youve got a long way back home too"

"Your mum's your Dad,
Your dad's your Mum,
You're interbred,
You froggy scum"

Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best,
They go up from his arse to his chest,
They're better than Adam and the Ants,
Niall Quinn's disco pants!

any club chants as im an Aussie but some good ones at last year's world cup.
Aussies to Poms to tune of she'll be coming round the mountain
"Shane warnes shagging all your women while you're gone....etc"
poms to germans to tune camptown races
"my grandpa killed your grandpa, doo daa, doo daa."