Simon le Bon, frontman with the resurrected Duran Duran, has waded into the tiresome public discourse surrounding Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse with his own list of demands.

While adamant that what Winehouse needed was some comfortable, winter clothing and a wash, his main concern was that she should eat in order to grow her cleavage.

"I’d like to sit her down, put some warm clothes on her, get her out of her blood-stained crap, give her a bath, put some food in her, she’s too skinny.

“Even if she doesn’t die of a drug overdose, she’s going to die of malnutrition. That’s what worries me. What happened to those fabulous tits?

“I feel really sorry for Amy Winehouse,” he continued. “God. She’s a genius, that girl."

A genius? With tits? Extending the sympathetic regard to former Libertine, now Shambler Doherty he confirmed in an interview with Uncut that:

"I really feel sorry for him because he’s got himself into this situation where people are just waiting for him to die. That’s really sad.”

The new Duran Duran single is abysmal.