1. Using Morning Wood for sex?
2. Shitting without pissing?
3. The "Power Through"?
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I'm not trying to get involved
but can I know what the third one is
I'm not sure
but I'd imagine it's when you haven;t had enough fibre in your diet
golf centric?
not sure. and i'm a man and everything.
...
Or just the right amount.
i misread it as
power trough, like that football fan piss thing
...
Of course. The Power Through is the once in a blue moon ability to sustain a usable erection past an initial ejaculation.
You get extra points if your partner doesn't notice the initial ejaculation so you look like a massive stud.
These points are deducted if your partner gets bored.
I've done all three
I have to agree, the satisfaction levels are incredible. Especially from the second one.
That's your favourite?
You total weirdo.
I managed to almost kill the moment when (3) happened by pausing and saying "Wow".
Her: What?
Me: Oh, nothing. Carry on.
Haha
I say 'wow' every time I ejaculate anyway. It still amazes me.
That shitting without pissing thing is brilliant though. Especially when said shit is occurring in a bin bag in your mates abandoned tent at Reading. Could have been nasty otherwise.
aha
context is all.
...
Better than "SPLASHY SPLASHY TIME!"
amazing
.
Add
'shitting with minimal wipe' in there and you've got yourself a list
my stools are very dry
i get this often
as for 3, well, i prefer to own up, pull out, waggle it a bit and get back in 5 minutes later.
seamless.
I had this yesterday
I wiped twice, as I couldn't believe the first wipe had come up clean.
Always best to check
When something seems too good to be true, it's always best to take another wipe
Isn't no. 2 impossible?
There was a medical geek at school who said it was and I've heard no further information on the matter for 10 years!
you humans disgust me.
shitting without the need for a wipe
surpasses all of those
dont you need...
... a security wipe to know that you dont need to wipe, thus eliminating the genius?
I find 1 often leads to 3
in relation to the 'wow'- my housemate shouts BAM when he comes. His girlfriend confirmed it last night. I heard it this morning :(
haha
just once, or like BAM BAM BAM?
just once
she described it as 'yeah yeah yeah yeah BAM!'
the girlfriend and I were in bed with red hangovers but we giggled/choked when we heard that this morning
Hah.
That's brilliant.
BAM!
but
whoosh BAM! would be better.
BAMos BAMos BAMos
:D
I contemplated copying him
but realised I'd probably get dumped and never find anyone who will actually sleep with me again.
I'm going to start doing it.
see, that's just vanity.
and also quite weird
You hear about people shouting out the wrong name during sex, but it's not usually their own.
...
You sometimes hear of people shouting their own name.
I don't do this, but if they happen to be shouting my name, I agree.
It'd be like a Scotsman saying 'YES!'
McKAAAAAAYYYYY.
I think you should punch the air when you do as well
for the full effect.
*punch the girl
strawberry cheesecake?
cherry danish!
...
Angry Pirate!
Monkey Face!
too far?
Not far enough.
Chiropractor.
Ok then, if you insist.
remember your time restrictions
...
The full effect would be:
1) "BAM!"
2) Punching air
3) Walking off. Not just rolling over and going to sleep, but actually physically leaving the room. Extra points for whistling.
do you usually have a points system for sex?
what's your average?
...
I would say... 7.
I've never had a 10, but one night I had five 2's.
point 1: got erection
point 2: penetrated something
point 3: sustained for longer than 5 minutes
points 4-10: ???
re: point 3
Any chance of some leeway on that one?
one minute
that's all, i'm being generous
of leeway, that is
I HAVE TO ACCEPT YOUR FIRST ANSWER!!!!
re: that first answer. Any chance of some leeway on that one?
Is your penis called Lee Way?
Lee WAHEY!
yes
the same amount of leeway in measuring terms that allows blokes to ride roughshod over what "six inches" actually means.
Something about riding roughshod over your six inches...
...
Is roughshod like when you use two condoms?
yes
but only if the one on the outside is made of sandpaper.
hey, it probably sorts out genital warts.
...
Points 4-10 are pretty much illegal in this country
Like a driving license?
Do you get points for doing things wrong? Like trying to put it in their arse/belly button?
In that case, 3.
...
It's complex. All sorts of things can affect the overall score.
Lights on/off/candles/other faggy shit
Whether you're listening to their music or yours
Seamless/non-verbal position switch
Orgasm Synchronisation
Targeting
Optional kinks
Quality of Post Match Conference
Orgasm Synchronisation
has to be a high points scorer. I love it when that happens. Makes me feel like Sting
next day lol
"Quality of Post Match Conference"
Chris Kamara: "Unbelievable!"
Alan Hansen" "Yes, excellent penetration down the left hand side, they really pushed their size advantage home"
Bobby Robson: "*unintelligible* SEX! *unintelligible*"
god i'm glad i'm alone at my death
and nobody can see the tears this thread is providing
wtf death? desk!
I thought you'd just got mega-emo on us.
Chin up!
you've tried to
put in in someones belly button three times?
don't you remember?
i was trying not too
lol
laugh out loud at belly button sex
^ POTD
Laughed so hard I got a stitch :(
my last girlfriend thought that
pissing in the shower/sink was digusting.
weirdo.
...
Pissing in the sink IS disgusting. Shower is fair game though.
pissing in the sink
is nasty.
truth
unless you're at Crobar, in which case it is not only tolerated but pretty much expected.
METALLLLLLL! \m/
\m/
I do love that place.
:)
shower is ok
sink = gross
^^
agreed
But... you're a girl!
Girls don't piss in the shower, Shirley? Up until recently I - a man with questionable hygiene standards - had never even considered pissing in the shower. But then my brother said he always did it so from then on the floodgates had opened, so to speak
i only have like, once or something
when the toilet wasn't in the same room. I don't see how it would be that gross though, you're washing yourself anyway, better than a meagre wipe.
I take your point
It's just that I had the image of when liquid clings to something as it runs down. And that 'liquid' was your urine, and that 'something' was your leg
it just mixes with shower water
(Y)
pretty much the same temperature too!
*leaves the internet*
I did think you had a yellow tinge when I met you.
*minge
Before someone else gets there.
How many people are heading for her minge then?
By now, a lot.
:(
well they say a 20th of the population have a urine fetish
and 80% have regular internet access.
do the math.
5% of the population
get electrocuted each year whilst sitting at their computers. Their deaths go unexplained, but for the strange musky smell surrounding the scene
?
10 points.
I have no interntion of going near
yellow minge
...
Racist!
The minge dynasty?
...
10 points.
10 points? Jesus, bamos
what did you do to that poor girl?
Strawberry cheesecake!
I met a guy called The My the other day
He's one of my fresher's I'm supposed to steward through university life.
He introduced himself thus: "Hello, I am THE MY"
I had to turn around before I could look him in the face.
You're sure he wasn't just a brummie called Tommy?
if he was, he was disguising himself well as a chinamen
he even managed the accent.
I'm not sure we're
allowed to use the term Chinaman anymore. I'm not sure why though.