It was carved in foot high letetrs into the wall behind the toilet in some immensely illegal bar on Hanway Street that was actually just some guys basement

"BEWARE OF THE LIMBO-DANCING MIDGET" in tiny letters just above the 6 inch gap at the bottom of the door in Glasgow QMU

If you want sex, call (number)

It was a friend of mines number. She wasn't best pleased.

and all I got was this lousey toilet

you are facing the wrong way

'I CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH A PEN'

it said "FART 2002"

A:... "

Also, written out in perfect handwriting:

"did anyone watch Ricki Lake on ITV2 the other day? I caught the end and wanted to know what it was about. The screen said "My workmates think i'm a big creepy bastard" and Ricki was interviewing *bosses name*. If anyone taped it could you let me know. Thank you."

(A vegan bar) "I fucking eat vegetarians"

But someone had scribbled out the last 8 letters.

"I FUCKING EAT VEG"

"Blackburn are great!"

"Cherno Samba is a really good defender"

Makes me lol

and then the "i" went all the way to the top of the cubicle.

Still makes me laugh.

still.

i found it very confusing

...the name of which I forget, there're notices in the gents advertising a hotline you can call if, y'know, your feelings are getting the better of you and your mates don't understand etc etc etc... all this nice spiel outlining how these people on the other end of the line can help and some bounder, in thick marker pen, wrote 'gay' on it.

I LOLed and LOLed and LOLed... and took a photo.

"INSERT BABY FOR REFUND" also made me chuckle.

straightaway you've got them by the jaffas.

And I also once saw someone had drawn a lady's part. The guy obviously had talent.

'Please remain seated for this performance' which always made me chuckle.

Someone also wrote 'Argon is gay' on a desk in the chemistry lab. Never saw what was particularly gay about argon myself. Our school was a pretty odd place now I think about it.

someone had written 'There is considerable hypocrisy in convetionalism' and somebody had scribbled out 'considerable hypocrisy' and 'convetionalism' and written over it so it now said 'there is a willy in my bum-bum'.

You clean the walls
but before you know it
I strike again
the Shite House Poet

"don't be looking up here, the joke is in your hand"

Me - 0"

"LE PENIS"

TATE MODERN
WE AIN'T NO MUGS
DON'T GIVE US NO VERBAL

re: puff daddy - the wife couldnt remember his name once and called him 'fluffy daddy'. true story.

written in lendal cellars in york..
"i am not that which i wish i was".

bloody philosophy students!

...in Glasgow Uni library:

"Sociology degrees: please take one"

I was well disappointed that i read that one.........

in a cubicle on the door at my uni..."for toilet tennis look left" so you look left and on the wall are the words "look right" so you look right and on the wall there are the words "look left" so you look left....

and 'arrogant pricks' who work within it, made by some anonymous fashion designer in a bar in Hoxton square, where else.

then you're doing it wrong"

"(some man's name) is shit in bed and has a really tiny penis"

then someone else added

"no he doesn't, you must have massive hands!"

"I have shagged your maw"

underneath someone had written

"go home dad, you're drunk"

which is basically a moving toilet, someone had scratched "KILL ALL MUSLIMS" into one of the walls. But someone had doctored the "L"s so it now read "KISS ALL MUSLIMS".

FUCK THE JOB, and someone, with the help of a few lines here and there, had changed it to
"BUICK, JUST THE JOB".

there is this little cafe we stopped in whose entire bathroom was covered in writing. All I can remember though is "DICK CHENEY BEFORE CHENEY DICKS YOU" and, I think, that there were a lot of things about Ezra Pound. I made my friend go in with his camera to take pictures of all the walls.

"Why are you looking up here, are you ashamed of it?"

Some people think drugs are the answer

they are wrong

Drugs are the question

The answer is YES

Someone did a picture in one of the library toilets of two stickmen engaged in anal sex. Both had labelling arrows pointing to them. The penetrator was "LSE boy" and the receiver was "International student". An irate international student (who made up half the uni) wrote an article on it in the paper, with a massive half page picture of said offending graffiti.

Inside of days it was everywhere

I found it in a bar in Copenhagen:
I wish I could live my whole life in those five extra minutes in the morning.

(Helps if you say it in a New Zealand accent)

Someone has written 'NEW ZEALAND SUCKS'

Underneath is was 'AUSTRALIA NIL'

Carved out in caps in a pub somewhere in the depths of Wales.

BELONGS TO THE SPIRIT OF THE OUTLAW...

Toilet wall Foundry Bar East London