So the shitty office i have been temping at for the last month has sacked me because and i quote " There is no work here for you, your always online and you swear alot..."
today is my last day and i wanna be remembered...what can i do?
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2 of those 3 are true of me
Thank Christ I'm exceedingly polite and well spoken!
kill yourself
in the middle of the office. make sure the method involves a blood spurt.
cool cool
im making notes...thats winning so far..however i'll miss xmas
Its the only option so far
Imagine how you'll feel
if he really does do that now. Not so funny, is it?
SoMeThInG CrAzY!!!!!
do you...
....have access to the server room?
i might be able to get there....
...Go on...
full-frontal nudity
obviously
I'd
be a hero!
rape
a rapesco hole puncher.
did
that on my first day though...i can't be repeating myself
rape someone
with a rapesco stapler.
Unless you've already done this?
Maybe..
Im jotting it down...
right so so far i got ..
Kill Myself
Rape Someone
Shit behind a radiator.
Hell yeah!
Do them in that order?
Sounds a bit like some kind of nu-metal video.
Sounds like the Yorkshire Rippers 'to-do' list
and full-frontal nudity, don't forget
You could combine that with any/all of the others.
Yeah...
Ill do it all in the nip!
Well remembered alley..Ta
At lunch go and get aload of kippers
then put one behind every radiator in the building. Tomorrow the smell will be unbearable.
this office is in the
MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
Won't be able to get any kippers.
Could do the same but with shit!?
Initiative
they shouldn't have fired you!
Thats
what i think..wankers don't know when they got a good thing!
Is there an intercom?
Plenty of fun to be had if there is.
Capture a load of pigeons, set them free in the office
and feed them bicarbonate of soda
Has anyone ever tried this...
... i always thought it was an urban myth?
You can found out for yourself?
If it fails, give all the pigeons speed instead
*find
its not a myth..
about 20 dead birds and a chase through the woods from a park warden bloke near my house when i was 10 confirm this
Thats a lovely tale..
Did the just drop dead or did they explode?
yeah the 'exploding' things bollocks
although when they eat it (bocarbonate of soda) it takes like 5 minutes before they realise they cant digest it and in turn release gas. and then they literally fall out of the sky. the initial sheer joy at seeing a good 20 birds fall out of the sky with my best mate soon turned into a huge pang of guilt and a knackering sprint to avoid getting beaten to death by an old bloke...all in all. weigh up the consequences before killing birds for fun
bicarbonate*
probably
I really
wanna try it...but i prefer animals to people...i'd feel so guilty.
I once cut all the legs of a spider. Felt terrible for months i swear but i had to do it. I was young though
the guilt soon wore off
and the funnies started as soona s i started thinking about birds plumetting to earth. apparently the average human east something like 10 spiders in their life in their sleep, we're all guilty as hell
Your
Right mate.
Fuck em all!
Spiders and pigeons are both gay anyway!
I mean its not like were talking lions or pandas is it!?
That's bullshit.
The spider thing...
Eh
What do you mean? Spiders are gay?
steal everyone's mice.
Give everyone lice
*katie price
put my knob in a vice
...yay!
Round up a load of 5 year olds
make them angry by say.. telling them their parents have been lying to them and Santa doesn't exist.. and unleash them in the office, to see how many five year olds your co-workers could really take in a fight.
Brilliant..
Although if i can't get hold of a kipper where do i get a shit load of toddlers from?
There always seem to be loads of them wandering around most offices
women seem to bring them to work for some reason.
Failing that some kind of school?
So
Kidnap basically?
If you're being non-PC, yes.
Just get a van and some sweets?
Ok then...
Ill get a van and some skittles. Bring it!
alt + F4
Not the sort of impact im looking for
to be honest
Accept
that you took the p!ss and leave with some dignity?
*Yawns loudly*
fuck that
Write an e-mail
detailing everyone's bad habits, the things that annoy you about them, basically how pathethic they are. suggest some 'improvements' to make them better.
Include some lies. take the people you hate the most and brand them racists.
Include everything about the job that is pointless.
send to 'everyone HQ' two minutes before you leave.
Thats a
better idea than kidnap or rape.
Its actually much worse
because you might feasibly do it
im seriously
considering it. Its a big company too.
Do It!
People are such cunts.
Welcome
The Baron...where have you been?
a temp did this at my work
not in a malicious way, just because she honestly thought people cared for her opinion.
she was one of these people who thought she was better than everyone because she had a degree.
she also wanted to have a meeting with the chief director of the charity to 'discuss her e-mail'.
LOL!
I
Have a degree...and i know for a fact im better than everyone here.
Maybe its time for a civilised meeting!
I have a degree too....
but years of admin among the hoy polloy has convinced me that I too is just a scummy prolatariat.
I have no degree
unlike most people here. But I have better hair.
WAY more important
trust me.
In your
pic your hairs a little floppy...thats never good.
It's all about the motion.
bf
did what... who is this a reply to?
andrewviolet
bf
aah it all makes more sense now. Talking to himself
you know me...
..
butt fucker
holla back
Also,
leave some sort of offensive image on your desktop on the PC. That could be good.
Search for a naked photo of the Hoff or something, not that that's offensive.
Good call
or i could leave a pic of a proper messy gaping minge?
What do you think?
...
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u313/skipnicker/rudevegetables.jpg
I'm
not opening whatever that might be!
You
already have...don't lie!
Kippers
order them from Tesco's online?
They deliver no?
At this short notice
I leave in a few hours...are they that quick...
No one can come that quickly.
;-)
Funny,
that's what my missus always says.
Boom-Boom.