a pin protractor with a butterfly stencil in the center, its far too small to meassure angles accuratly, im dissapointed :(

i was really pleased

a scratchcard that I won £2 on.

Scratchies have been a theme of this festive season for me.

a REALLY TINY PACK OF CARDS
i was utterly delighted.

cos im the only person in the family who is amused by tat, so i combined a biro and a little notpad to make a flicker book, with plot details mapped out by my family. mainly my brother

crackers for millionaires, mine had a small plastic magnifying glass and a hat. not even a joke. the best present anyone in my family had in one was a ten inch tape measure made of paper. i live in poverty.

Three hair clips - very useful.
Six oversized colourful paper clips - now a bracelet.
Two compasses which point in different directions.
A phone book
one playing card.

I prefered the jokes.

My favourite ever joke coming up. Simply a classic:

Q What do you need to know to be an auctioneer?

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. A. Lots

ho ho ho ho ho ho

...

and a hairclip. Hurrah!

with a weight at its base and an axle across its middle which attaches to some wheels. with this ingenious setup you can push it along for ages and no matter how far its head overbalances in one direction, it rights itself!

yay!

were a shitty magnifiying glass, a purple hair bobble and a little toy car. The car, at least, caused a few minutes of amusement.

we played blackjack for agesss.

and of course, a party hat.

and a pirates eye patch.

2.7 seconds of pure aural humour

Apparantly this is how Fortnum & Mason do Christmas crackers.