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Eavis books mystery "black American" to headline Glastonbury

51 votes
?
by Kev Kharas
Artists: Kanye West

Michael Eavis has dropped the first proper hints at who’ll be headlining this year’s Glastonbury festival, intimating the race and nationality of one of the performers who’ll enjoy top billing.

The organiser wasn’t drawn into naming the act, but told BBC Points West that he’s “putting on a black American headliner, who's absolutely terrific that's going to appeal to those people.”

Those people? Young people, apparently.

Those with a profile fitting Eavis's criteria include Kanye West, Jay-Z, Outkast, Beyonce, and approximately 38,662,569 other African Americans.

Glastonbury runs from the 27th ‘til the 29th of June at Worthy Farm in Somerset.


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he may have won many awards...

But i really don't think Morgan Freeman is right for this.

must be my age or summat.

HAR HAH A


Jazzy Jeff


erm...

it'll either be someone drearily obvious like Kanye KAN-YAY West or someone completely surprising like the Reverend Al Green or Michael Jackson. Prince would actually be quite fun but am sure he's had his fill of the UK by now.


Prince

non?


Michael Jackson after he's specified a black headliner?

Now that *would* be surprising. lololololololololol


"a black American headliner"

The locals are rioting as we speak.


HA

the chavs are currently having a war with the Polish that have moved in and are doing the shitty jobs that they take befits for so they don't have to.


WILL SMITH

THANKS


^

Please


Michael

Jackson


body counts inn the house!

BODY COUNT!!!!

^ PLEEEEEASE ^

i will only come if they headline

kthnx


I'm starting to dislike Glastonbury already.

What the fuck is he doing? He'll end up turning it into V Festival if he isn't careful, and it'll lose any remaining hints of 'quirkyness' it has left.

Unless its Jacko or Chuck Berry = boo to Glasto.


bah

it already IS the V festival


^ this


I know it isn't likely

but isn't Bo Diddley still performing?

Prince was the first one to come to mind though. I think he might be in the price range too.


my money's on

Barrack Obama.


i would

jump the fence to see that


I was worrying that

nobody was going to say that. Thank you for allaying my fears.


It's just like...

...It's just like....a mini mall..


hahaha

oh god that would be funny.

I heard it's going to be Venus Williams.


it'll be michael jackson

he's black and appeals to young people. Eh? Oh.


Lolz

"Those with a profile fitting Eavis's criteria include Kanye West, Jay-Z, Outkast, Beyonce, and approximately 38,662,569 other African Americans."

Please let it be Mr T. Please.


Saul Williams?

WU WU WU!?


^

fantastic reply


I really really hope

it's Bill Cosby doing a set of Radiohead covers.


It may well be

WiLOL Smith


'THOSE PEOPLE', hey?

Eavis: Massive racist.

Oh, and I know who he's referring to....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=GSqV3rWM4iQ


Prince, surely

Seeing as he doesn't seem interested in selling albums anymore, I'm thinking he'll take all the MASSIVE shows he can get


to be really picky

he's not black, he's hispanic or something...


stevay

WONDAR?


if it was

Stevie Wonder I'd sell one of my eyes to be there. just one mind. any takers?


JIMI HENDRIX

.


Bad Brains!!!

;-)


Lenny Kravitz ?

Usher ?
MC Hammer ?
Sir Mix-A-Lot ?


it'll be stevie

which is unfortunate because i really don't want to go after last year- but i've always said that the only thing that would make me go again would be if stevie played.

balls.

plus he'll probably do the 02 for 80 quid or sumit


Soulja Boy.

That would be Christopher BIGgins.


chuck d?

i wouldn't mind kanye


prince won't do it

not his scene


Jimi Hendrix?

now that would be good (although not in his present state)


Here's hoping for

Fants Domino, Kid N' Play, Ralph Tresvant or Boys II Men


Tina Turner?

Please please please let it be bad brains.


Appeals to the youth!

That writes out nearly all of the above ideas.

But seriously what Black American artist actually appeals to kids who might want to go to Glasto? Young people into Kanye, fiddy etc.. are a different crowd, they won't go to Glasto just to see 1 headliner, when the erst of the festival is predominantly white middle class music.

If they really want more kids then make an emo day with MCR etc... It might be crappy music but at least they are likely to go to the festival.