Alas, for my work I do sometimes have to read the Guardian. As we have all known for a long time it is largely a shower of shit.
I was reading this article by Patrick Wintour (POLITICAL EDITOR):
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/funding/story/0,,2240366,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=19
At the bottom it has a quote from David Laws MP, 'Tory schools spokesman'. This is lovely, but David Laws is in fact a Liberal Democrat. Well, he does look like a Tory I guess:
http://www.epolitix.com/NR/rdonlyres/075B5192-9A73-47F5-83CD-A8229C893DED/0/DavidLaws.jpg
Mountain out of a molehill? You betcha!
I read the Daily Mail on Saturday
It made me want to hole myself up in a tiny bunker, crying, and never leave, ever. Ever.
The Express today
has Maddie, Diana AND immigration.
TRIPLE CROWN
That 'Immigrants take ALL new jobs' headline
was just incredible. I fucking despise that paper, far more so than the Mail these days. Richard Desmond is a cunt of epic proportions
i'm repeatedly amazed
that such newspaper readers haven't realised that the reason immigrants get the jobs is generally because they make better workers than fat, lazy, british people. i'm all for immigration. more immigrants please!
no no
it's because they work for 6 pence an hour and the entire country is ruled by liberal pinkos who have to give jobs to immigrants or they'll be outed as racists. DUHHHHHHHHH
I see it more as a cartoon version of the Mail
I can't see how anyone could take anything in it seriously.
Especially with headlines like that immigrant one and 'Diana: Was she murdered by lasers?'
You should have a gander on the Express message board
it's a truly frightening place. Crawling with BNP supporters. They appear to have blocked access to it for non-members now, but if it's anything like it was it makes Have Your Say's idiots look like sages.
Here's one example, as posted on Mailwatch:
'Of course Sarkozy wants this kind of union - so long as he and other Jews control the agenda.
It's time for Americans and Europeans to stop tip toeing around the truth that Jews are JEWS loyal to ISRAEL FIRST --
You and me? - we are just cannon fodder and bankers to their war on Islam...
anybody read about that 13 year old Palestinian girl they just murdered ... IDF shot her once, and when she tried to flee - crawling away bleeding - he emptied his magazine into her...
If that were my child??? - I would be killing Jewish kids where ever I could find them... putting her name on their bleeding carcasses.
Actually - that would put a stop to the practice. If Muslims began shooting Jewish toddlers outside Israel - with the names of dead Palestinian children left on the bodies...
the practice would CEASE... Jews only care about other Jews.
gus'
Completely staggering. I hate the Express because so many retards are sucked in by its lies and blind hatred.
they are aware that the Expressis owned by one of those FACKIN JOOOS?
also, are you sure these are BNP supporters - why all the pro-Palestinian stuff? sounds like SWP and less moderate islamic-types to me
That particular post is a bit confused as to what it is, I think
this one is more in tone with the rest of the contributions:
"who are these people who are polled,they must be all those immigrants that brown lets stay,because every ex labour voter i speak to feel the same as me,as in never again,beside that what planet have these people been living on for the last 10yrs,brown was beside blair all that time,i remember reading that brown was prime minister in all but name for most of those years,i dont believe the true british born and bred are going to vote for this anti english lot again,if you do make sure your not white english with a job and pension plan,also make sure you hate this once great nation and youve converted from christian to muslim,in other words make sure you fit gordons diversity agenda become a one legged hamster eating gay peruvian oh and dont forget to change your name to mohammed."
Eye-hurting stuff. There's a whole thread of shit like this here:
http://bigdaddymerk.co.uk/mailwatch/forum/viewtopic.php?t=237&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
sounds like a slightly less coherent wrightylew
'The World's Greatest Newspaper (TM)'
rofl
haha
it's nicknamed the "Grauniad" because of the typesetting and spelling errors.
seriously though, it's the best newspaper in britain (no, the independent isn't) if it didn't exist, the british press would be (mostly) worryingly one-tone
i like the independent
mainly cos no matter HOW BIG a news story is, they will always have something about polar bears or global warming.
Or a picture of a dolphin
with 'Cruelty' underneath it.
(c) The Thick of it
i think even there was a nuclear holocaust
(and papers still somehow got written and printed the next day) they STILL put a bloody orangutan on the front and moan about the bloody borneo rainforests.
The Independent
is incredibly silly. Well, the front page anyway, I haven't bought it for ages. Grauniad ftw.
I read it
Because I'm a hippy lefty pinko liberal FUCK. And I don't care one jot.
guardian is indeed the best
newspaper. if it didnt exist my only source of news would be from Jon Snow's....undies
I read it
Cos it's got a decent sports section.
"decent"
is an understatement. sid lowe is the best sports journalist i've ever read/heard.
i touched your hair on saturday night.
One for the bank was ir?
*it
Classic GG error. Funny joke ruined by an annoying inability to type quickly.
no
that was when you simulated anal sex with some incredibly drunk girl who was lying on the stage.
Hmm,
As I recall, it was with a man; a member of Gay Against You in fact. This is confirmed somehwere down the thread.
That girl that was rolling around with her flange pretty much on show was disgusting though. Still, I probably would have done...
I read the Observer yesterday
as most Sundays. It annoyed me about as much as normal (ie a fuck of a lot)
They seem to have got rid
of the columnist guy that I liked in the Observer, that Jasper fellow. That made me sad.
he still seemed to say the same things
that he was in the sunday times though - but it made it big and clever because he was writing them in the observer
I never read him in the Times
I just like him in the Observer. Ho hum.
Jasper Carrott?
cool
You're kidding, right?
He's fucking useless.
yep
kidding
no, REALLY?
I wasn't replying to you, anyway.
i didnt think so
but who cares
I'm not sure why, I can't put a finger on it
I just liked him. I'm sorry. Anyway, he's not there now, so I can rejoice in that Barbara woman instead. Woo.
Barbara Ellen?
Doubly fucking useless. If it's a choice between her and Jasper Gerard, I'll have him back, The one thing I likeed about him was that when you looked at his grinning byline picture, you just KNEW he was thinking "They're paying me handsomely to write this nonsense, and I knocked it out in ten minutes flat with a covering email saying 'Will this do?' Bwahahahaha!"
I was being sarcastic about her, yeah
But him...I dunno. You may be right, I don't doubt it. Maybe that's why I liked him so much. He was like a half-time break, an easy to read sojourn from some worthy news pieces before and after. He was my orange.
I found him DEEPLY annoying
I lovelovelove the dear old grauniad though. and the observer.
it annoys the hell out of me too
and yet i still buy it every week, no matter how many times i tell myself i'll stop. at least they've sacked that cunt jasper gerard.
I liked him :(
Serious? :O
This thread has certainly made it clear why he no longer writes for the 'paper, anyway.
The Sunday Times is much better.
At least you know where you stand with The Sunday Times - which is to say, it's the kind of paper that would rather have an argument with you over breakfast than idly pander to your hippy liberal whims. And it's very well written overall. And it looks good on the doormat.
Well I bet that you look good on the doormat
Am I
your favourite worst doormat?
^ This
The Sunday Times > Observer
maybe I like
having my lefty whims pandered to for a few minutes each day....
I didn't touch your hair on Saturday night
but I did observe you pretending to sodomise a member of Gay Against You.
I'm a modern Tory, you see.
It's going to feature in our next Party Political Broadcast.
awww boarding school japes
I read the Guardian
I like it. G2 is regularly great, and there's no bullshit in the sports section
Plus, Media Monday. woop
I found my job in Media Monday
I have a soft spot for it.
Can you find me one, please?
You can have mine if you want
It fucking sucks.
We could do a straight swap
Where do you stand on psychic horses?
I'm sure there's a comedy answer here somewhere
Can I have it as well?
Jobshare?
Right then
Joe can have Mondays and Tuesday mornings, bamos can have Wednesdays and Thursday mornings and I'll have Thursday afternoons and Fridays.
Tuesday afternoons we just won't bother coming in for.
The Times > all
Great international news section, great sports section (The Game on Mondays is brilliant) and a decent range of opinions in the middle. Reading the New Lab cock-sucking writers like Tim Hames (sp?) gives you something to argue against as well, as well as the legends like Mick Hume (despite his hilarious "libertarian Marxist" position).
^ This
The Times > Guardian
Countdown until some sap says......
'But...it's owned by Murdoch!' *boo* *hiss*.
incorrect
please go back and change this to the correct answer: "Guardian > The Times"
Guardian > Independent, that I'll grant you.
But, Guardian > The Times?
MEGALOLZ!!!11
Ah the Times
read by the same middle of the road people whose middle of the road parents read it and are yet to realise its slow, steady descent into a paid for version of the Metro.
My parents don't read The Times.....
...I suppose your parents are 'radicals' who read the Guardian.
Organic vegetable boxes and 'Ban the Bomb' stickers on the family Volvo?
Edgy.
You don't read the Times?
Wow, you're pretty revolutionary. Right on, man, right on.
There is nothing revolutionary
about bemoaning how cosily rubbish the Times is, particularly since it went tabloid. Politics has nothing to do with it.
...
guardian > times
sunday times > observer
Guardian journalism is pretty terrible
Also the puritanical nature of some of the environmental stuff.
Jackie Ashley and Toynbee... BLUURGGHH.
Toynbee MUST DIE!
.
the Sunday Times is dire
lots and lots of sections of pure shit
i went to the times for work experience
the people that work in the sports section are great guys, but the big-wigs are all earning £100,000+ and are wanting more.
Pete Paphides is the nicent music journalist ever, though.
does them earning £100k+ make them not great guys?
?
It's certainly a move-up the
salary-cunt scale...
Minimum wage = Top bloke
Doctor's wage = Pure cuntation
you're talking out of your arse
Consultants may have superiority complexes but
Many of them do incredibly stressful and needed work (although they are still probably overpaid).
Oh, I wondered why my breath smelt
these
don't tend to be the people working in the sport section, more the assistant editors etc.
Does anyone read the Financial Times?
For my money, far and away the best newspaper in the country. And it's not even at it's best right now.
the saturday edition is excellent
...
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm in the observer music monthly
this sunday!
go me.
(its really shit but i guess my 15 are over now)
I like the Guardian obituaries...
there are some interesting dead people I wish I knew when they lived
To be frank all MPs should ahve to declare all the money that they recieve from private sources.
That goes for Osborne too.
It's ridiculous that he should even in theory need £180k to run for Labour deputy.
The thing I want to know is where do all the leaks (Con and Lab) come from. Their staff must be so dishonest, I suppose like their paymasters.
i prefer
the times
I read it
it's quite good
Times - Alright. Sunday's is good. Can't stand the cunts who say it's the only balanced viewpoint, go back to the Metro you fucking dorks
Telegraph - Also alright, like a mirror image of the Guardian. I'd read it if a)I had time to read two newspapers and b)it wasn't so relentlessly slippers and pipe
Daily Mail/Express - Everything that needs to be said about them has already been said really, I don't hate them because I get some decent lulz reading their headlines in the morning
Observer/Independent - Who cares
Sun - Actually more evil than either the Mail or the Express. It's fucking everywhere and every page makes me want to lead an army of armed illegal immigrants on their offices
Mirror/Morning Star - Quite funny. I imagine GG reads them so he can work his bile up in the mornings
Private Eye - Very good for boning up on the minutae of corruption, but also very old mannish. Hislop's a bit of a pillock
Daily Star/Daily Sport - The only proper newspapers, come on fellows admit it
The Sunday Times is not
the Sunday edition of The Times. It's a separate publication.