The stopcock clasping Tom Clarke’s jowls together has been sabotaged by some misguided plumber again, The Enemy frontman's lips parting to leak putrid nonsense out across the pages of the Daily Star again this morning. Fortunately, DrownedinSound’s here to mop the fuck up.
The first, and perhaps most predictable case, Clarke and band decided to make during their day’s guest editorship of the Star’s Playlist column was that the Arctic Monkeys have “lost it a bit since they started wearing fancy dress.
“Their first vid, for I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, is one of the best ever,” they continue. “It’s a bunch of working class lads belting out a tune they’re passionate about,” passion, the ability to belt out a tune and membership of the working class being the Holy Trinity of Clarke’s broad musical church, you’ll probably remember.
Unfortunately for Arctic Monkeys, they seem to’ve forgotten, and subsequently find themselves ostracised from that church.
“But now they’re turning up to things dressed as clowns and English country gents it’s as if they’ve forgotten where they came from,” the article continues.
Sour grapes easily squashed by bigger musical minds, you think, ‘til you learn that, no, The Enemy’s persistent hate-campaign against Arctic Monkeys is not an attempt to latch on limpet-like to the hull of a superior band.
“We’ve been accused of being jealous of Arctics, but we have massive, massive respect for them - their first album was amazing.“However, their second is boring. It’s a let-down. And there’s no need to dress like clowns.”
Those clown dressed fucks.
Moving on, another article picks up on a less bruised target, clumsily honing in on the increasingly fuzzy shape of Michael Eavis and Glastonbury festival. Not to worry though, Mr Eavis, you can go back to dithering over lax carbon emissions and how to win back the youth vote, or something, as the claim the band make is an utterly ridiculous one.
In what the band warn us is a “bold statement” they suggest that the festival considers changing dates as “facing facts, the weather is pretty much always terrible”.
Glastonbury 2008 runs, as usual, in the last weekend of June. Sometime from the 27th ‘til the 29th The Enemy will be performing. Ticket registration for the event has now closed.
Got news? Email us at newsdesk@drownedinsound.com
Another Enemy article eh?
Not trying to boost that hit counter are we DiS? Ha.
.
I think I speak for DIS when i say; no, you utter fud. Don't click the article that you know is going to be about the article and assure yourself that DIS is always up to date with news more relevant to you. It's not like they're ommitting something important to report it. I, for one, enjoy knowing that I am gloriously superior to the prole shoal that read the daily star and are fans of the enemy (no caps). So in response to your comment - is that news?
Um...
I was joking.
I love DiS, they are always up to date, blah, blah, blah. I just love the fact that everyone likes a dig at The Enemy.
And dont call me a Fud.
you fucking fud.
Actually, how dare you.
so you're
"gloriously superior" to the working class are you ?
^Unintentional sweeping generalization alert^
how do you know
it was unintentional ?
T'was just an assumption.
Apologies.
.
You're totally accurate in that assumption. I don't actually believe that, but my point is if the enemy is allowed to cite 'working class lads' as if it matters a fuck in 2008, then so can I. The bit about artic monkeys dressing up as english country gents 'as if they've forgotten where they came from' is another total shitter. Does he actually think that them dressing up like that is sincere? Like seriously? How much coal do they have to mine in order to redeem their roots? He's the one with a chip on his shoulder. Totally full of shit and irrelevant. You're welcome.
It doesn't matter what he says...
the only undeniable truth is that he looks like a Crimewatch photofit.
i love the way this is the third article
just to be titled "The Enemy" :D
Their band name is becoming more of a description
than a moniker.
Can we crank this up into a proper feud
or just drop it entirely please.
FIGHT! FIGHT!
FIGHT! FIGHT!
For once i find myself, without qulification, 100% in the corner of DiS...i'll fight these feckless fucktards to the end.
They need to do a DiSband
and just print the transcript verbatim with no extra comment.
LOUD
NOISES
I DONT KNOW
WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
Arctic Monkeys arent fake though are they
I mean they arent trying to be what they were a couple of years ago because... they arent?
Not like u guys as your entire fanbase are the real workin class who wear ken sherman and pucci? Right? RIGHT!
he's got a point
The Enemy are blatently more working class than the Arctic Monkeys.
the enemy are retards
.
Who even remotely cares?
It's "my Dad is bigger than your Dad" taken to the most pointless level.
im more working class than you is more like
"my dad is shitter than your dad".
why the fuck does this guy have to go on about that, unless he's trying to position himself as man of the people. in which case he's doing a terrible job cos he just comes across as a tit
Bullshit
This rat child's constant bleating's keep me very amused.
I think he'd like to believe that he's being being very Noel Gallagher, but the he's a bit more Paul Calf.
He really is jealous of the Arctic Monkeys isn't he?
I think he likes to use the word working class
in every single sentence, regardless of the fact that being an 18 or however old he is person signed to a major record label isnt really the equivalent of working in a coal mine.
^
The Enemy haven't worked a 9-5 job in their lives!
This man
is a dog turd. And a particularly putrid one at that.
And his band are rubbish. If The Enemy album was even half as good as the second Arctic Monkeys album, it still wouldn't prevent him being the biggest tosspot since Johnny "If I Could Shag Myself I Would" Borrell.
I love these articles
This tomfoolery has got legs and the Holy Trinity bit is an excellent little addition.....that's one ugly lookin dude alright. Talks shit too....quite a delight! Keep it up DiS.
if i could shag myself i would
wouldnt you?
i mean, i love me, thats why i hang out with me so much
Wait, since when was it impressive to be
*more* working class rather than social climbing and becoming *less* working class?
oh
i was just being sarcastic
Hang on,
so was I?
'facing facts'
this is amazing
love the enemy
I saw The Enemy
do a live lounge Jo Whiley thing on TV over Christmas. It was in their own homes and they were at one of those scrotes houses, a reasonable big semi detached new build on a fairly middle class looking housing estate.
Add to this the fact they not only signed to a major but actually refused to sign to a smaller, more interested label purely for the money they haven't got a leg to stand on when accusing people of trying to be something they are not.
They really should be on the next Disband.
Funny stuff
He looks like one of the evil giants from BFG.
Except he is tiny. Funny.
Would he be less pissed at the Arctics
if they dressed up as a souped-up Vauxhall Nova, or a kebab?
God I hate that wretched little piss stain.
He needs new ears,
simply for saying Favourite Worst Nightmare is boring.
It's a million times better than anything he could ever put his name to..
Since when did Gareth from The Office start a band?
..
i liked their 'country gent' look
tweed always looks good
I love these Enemy articles
I love how they are all titled 'The Enemy' which cracks me up. I never had time for them before, didnt mind them, Away from here was alright if I heard it in a club, but these comments just make me despise the band. And all this 'working class' nonsense he keeps spouting is just bollocks.
Arctics are from High Green
..which is practically the countryside anyway. I nearly moved there - right next to a chicken farm - until the astonishingly high percentage of knobheads made me think again.
That bloke from The Enemy should be in the countryside. He looks like a stoat.
Are Arctic Monkeys
"working class"? Alex Turner's parents are both teachers.
I have no idea what class
is what these days. On that subject, is DiS middle class?
working class doesnt really exist anymore
there is an underclass... but traditional working class jobs for the most part no longer exist.
this guy
annoys me so much grrrrrrr
the enemy...
are fucking gash.
He's
A cross between the pepperami monster and a human fucking cheese string. Die, you stupid fucking veruca.
Verucas
are funny when you put it like that.
Arctic Monkeys pissed as farts dressed up at Brits =
the only even vaguely entertaining thing that happened at said event.
That thing from the Enemy clearly comes from a gene pool with no deep end.
I think I've decided
that the Enemy are clearly Warner's idea of a parody of the working class. Surely no one could talk as much tripe as him without realising it
.
I think he's not only the ugliest person I've seen in a very long time, but incredibly misguided- to the point where he's actually trying to outdo himself daily in his quest to be the worlds biggest tool. He's certainly giving Heather "I'm a mentalist" Mills a run for her money.
And his band really are turd. My god he's a hyprocrite. The fucking retard has probably never even had a paper round, let alone a regular job. I doubt he could survive a regular working day. He'd probably cry little rat tears