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I'm old school, like Happy Shopper (daft rap similes)

11 votes
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by theseabass

Rappers and MCs by their nature have a lot of lyrical space to fill, and they often seem to come up with ridiculous, obscene or just plain rubbish similes to describe themselves or something else. Whats the stupidest funniest or most offensive you've heard?

theseabass | 07 Apr '08, 12:08 | Send note | Report this | Reply

I love you like a fat kid loves cake

Awesome, only good thing that twat has ever said.

Favourite at moment:

'We love and hate like a tattoed fist'


Clipse

Mask On Face, Glock In Hand
I Was In And Out Of Homes Like The Orkin Man
Never Listen To My Parents Like An Orphan, Man
Strong Finger On The Trigger Like It's Dwarf's Hands


I'm as serious as cancer,

When I say Rhythm is a Dancer.


Cannibal Ox

'sounding like a depressed Beth Gibbons'


GZA

I'm feminine like sandals (?????)


Inspectah Deck:

'WU TANG! We bring it fresh like tuppaware'


ha

both those wu tang ones are hilarious.


From the same song

"sweet like tropicana"


I got the skills of titanium, straight to the cranium

Try to play me and we can go to war like Iranians


NWA "Express yourself"

"But you know you need this.
And the knowledge is growin'
Just like a foetus...

...or a tumor."

Genius.


Same song:

'moving like a tortoise: full of rigor mortis!'


Dr Octagon - Earth People

'Astronauts get played, tough like the ukulele'

christ knows what thats supposed to mean