After a terrible & I mean literally terrible emtional turmoil I had been suffering during March mainly, I finnaly thought I was getting over numerous instances of my life which caused me to really start feeling down.
Today I saw my Dad who recently came out of hospital after liver faliure and of course when I heard that it was great news and I had seen him loads but today as I watched him struggerling to operate a cash machine I started to realise that although it may seem it the problems are still there, I realised I despise my housemates, am emotionally distancing myself away from my mum because I hate her boyfriend, im currently financialy unstable and finding it unusualy difficult to find a job & cant seem to quite pull myself out of this hole.... I dont know whether its the fact i'm ill that i'm feeling so down aided by feeling socially withdrawn by having to turn down many things with my friends due to issues or finanacial problems... but it just shows you that problems are often much deeper then you originaly thought.
Oh, love. :(
Sounds like you've just got too much on your plate at the moment. I'm sure you're not cracking up, you just don't know where to start when everything seems to be totally shit.
Would moving in with your dad be an option? At least then you don't have to be annoyed by your flatmates. It's probably being at home too much with them which is killing those relationships.
Also, if there's no work in Brighton, consider moving. You could pass on your lease to someone else as long as you get them to move in the day after you. Brighton is not the be-all-and-end-all, just as London isn't (zomgosh!). Move to where the work is. It's a shitty economy out there at the moment and people are struggling to keep hold of jobs, so it's no surprise that you're struggling to find one. Don't feel personally down about it.
Failing that, I got some lemsip and brandy. Want some?
Its more dis-heartening because I thought I got over some of the problems
and it was all looking good but today has been a real eye opener and I feel like I have hit the lowpoint again that I hit early March.
Also cant live with my Dad because he lives with his friend who has kids so the is no room
And i cant afford to move out
and by the same token i cant afford to live here
K. Understand.
I said before, it's too much at once. You feel down in the dumps and then you have a load more shit thrown at you and you don't know where to start.
Narrow it down and think about what's making you most unhappy; I suspect the job/lack of cash is probably what started this all. Take a job working in a local coffee shop during the day and in the pub in the evening.
You'll be amazed how things just all fall into place after that.
Don't ever feel that a job is below you, and then you can work your way out of it when you're not in a situation where you just *have* to take the first thing going. It always seems easier to find another job/one that's more suited when you actually have one.
Tried it
failed
I dont believe said jobs are below me, im trying to take ANYTHING!
Then you need too look outside of Brighton, lovely.
You can always move back there when things are better. It's not the end of the world - just a short-term solution to get yourself out of this funk.
You could be back there in six months, so don't despair.
In the meantime, I send you chocolates.
xxx
To quote what i said earlier
And i cant afford to move out
and by the same token i cant afford to live here
I know! I'll give you some constructive, helpful advice
and you can just ignore it!!
We like this! It's a fun game!!
You're not listening to me. There's a means to get out of any situation if you truly want to. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. There are people out there who don't have state benefits and can't afford to feed their dying children. Or, perhaps my 29 year old friend who has just been given 12 months to live because he has brain cancer.
So, shut the fuck up. In comparison, your woes are pretty low down there.
It's not impossible to find a new flatmate for your room and get your deposit back on the same day, so don't just dismiss that.
The moment people start comparing their problems
to other peoples problems is when one is no longer trying to vent it out but trying to get sympathy, I feel the need to vent it out in some way or form & dont appriciate comparissons being thrown in as I KNOW the are people worse off then me, it's pretty obvious & I dont need to be told.
Yes. But you're in a
You just get over your own shit on your own then. If you can't relate your situation to that of someone who is going to die within the next 12 months, then you're going to get bugger all sympathy from me.
Oh - I can't get a job. Sob. Sob. Oh - hang on - but I don't have brain cancer!! My parents don't have to see me die before they die!!
In twelve month's time I may be standing around the grave of one of the most brilliant people I've ever met.
Grow up a bit, you fucking idiot.
woah, that series of posts took an unexpected
twist towards the dark side
Mirri I understand your upset about it
and I have told you that i'm sorry to hear about it in the past but I don't like the fact your throwing it in my face & starting an argument based around it.
It was irrelevant to the topic, all I was trying to do was vent out my feelings & maybe get some perspectives outside of my own.
I dont understand why you have turned it around to some sort of 'im so selfish I cant think of other peoples feelings other then my own' cause I clearly am not. Telling me to Grow up a bit and calling me a fucking idiot is uneccisary as from what I can see I have done nothing wrong here.
i think Mirri was trying to give you a little perspective
and to stop you wallowing in your own misery
Perspective: I should grow up and im an idiot
I think I can finnaly move on with life now, amazing!
*headdesk*
come back to this in the morning, eh?
get a good night's sleep and read through the advice when you're feeling a bit fresher and a bit less emotional. i realise that sounds patronising but ehhh
I have read it and taken it into consideration
it was such a sudden and uncalled for twist & i never like it when people go 'well consider this I have so n so to deal with and she has this to deal with imagine how she feels' it makes me feel guilty for venting out my emotions... which I shouldnt!
The whole point of the topic isnt just ME-Centric
I was also saying that you shouldnt take the moment for granted & that u shouldnt keep your eye off the ball even if it appears to be better it may not be. I think its all gotten a bit uneccisary to be honest as I wasnt looking for sympathy... just some understanding and maybe some guidence.
I gave you guidance.
You ignored it.
I didnt ig onore it
I was just stating I didnt think any job was below me, i'm not being picky with the jobs im seeking & I was saying why I couldnt move in with my Dad... it would be ideal if I could do such things, thanks for trying to help though and im sorry if u took my 'I tried but this so n so' as just me ignoring you or disregarding your advice as I didnt mean it like that, you know me better i'm not the type to just dimiss things people say.
...
I gave you sympathy. I offered to send you chocolates.
I gave you some advice. And not even bad advice.
What exactly do you want from me? Do you want me to say 'there there matt, it will all be alright in the end'? Real life is not like that.
So you don't like who you live with; that's pretty normal. Get over it. Move.
So you don't have a job. That's pretty shit - but my friend who has the tumour has remained self employed throughout his entire sickness. He has worked through having cheotherapy and radiotherapy, not to mention the cocktail of 18 pills a day that he needs to take and the steroids.
So. What’s your excise ?
My excuse?
FedEx denied all knowledge of me even working there, I only just found this out... employers seeking out references and being told this COULD be putting them off... dont ya think?
And im not just 'whining' about not having a job, it's a cocktail of problems that has built up over 6 years, in and outside of my control.
And while I'm at it, I NEVER criticised your advice, and I have said I appriciate you for trying to help & ALSO I never asked for sympathy, its nice to see you care or cared but I shouldnt be made to feel guilty for venting.
Im not appologising anymore, whats the use... I said sorry just in case i did say something to offend you... but u know what.. looking back... i havent.. stop misplacing your anger and stop putting me down! I HAVE TRIED TO END IT IN A RATIONAL WAY, ur not listening.. maybe its you who needs to grow up... stop telling me about your friend! I'm sorry for yours and his current situation I know it upsets you.. i been there my dad was dying last month and to my eyes still is so I know exactly how you feel right now.
So just cut it out
I am sorry to hear that
about your father. That's hard stuff to deal with.
i do agree with this....
and i think he gets this perspective, but perhaps some crossed lines have occurred. He's just venting online! Not looking for a resolution. And Mirri, being as caring as ever, has tried to console/advise. Mirri is awesome at this :) (i think she's one of the *bestest* DiSers...for this reason, amongst others).
matt was just letting stuff out, didn't mean to come across insensitive or otherwise....all this stuff is sensitive. It's human nature....and we all know that we each work in our own ways.....mirri gets this.....and so does matt. Both parties arguments make sense and at the end of the day, the core of THIS issue is: one friend advising another and things getting out of hand.
I can't state enough how highly I think of both matt & mirri.....they are both very lovely people, and clearly very caring. I think this thread should end here.
one mans opinion, though.
Thank you Emmi.
<3 to the pair of you.
like parrots, non?
I R NOT PARROT!
I R A DUCK
I'm sorry about your friend
Thank you x
What if that means moving away from his dad?
^ pretty much this too
I want to spend as much time as possible with him, I know hes probably going to die in a couple of years... its pretty obvious... its a miracle hes alive now considering i was told he was gonna die in march.
Really sorry you're feeling down
I find it's easy to get overwhelmed when there's a lot of things going wrong. I guess all I can say is try to prioritise the things you need to do and don't worry yourself more over the things you really can't change - easier said than done, I know. I hope things improve for you soon.
life's meant to be a struggle.
I know it certainly always has been for me, and made all the worse that most of my friends seem to have been born into easier situations. I feel like i'm on the verge of falling to pieces sometimes, but it never comes. Things will happen whether you worry about them or not, and although it's hard to get things out of your head you should at least try. Things often take a turn for the btter when you're least expecting it, so odds are that if you've been dealt a series of blows that something stupidly brilliant will happen out of the blue very soon.
life does to tend to be shit at times
i don't think any of us can offer set-in-stone advice as to how the shit times become the good times, but it's something you've got to do yourself, and it's something you've got to do
this is veering into vague-ville, but there's always something in your life you can change that you can see, i dunno, some positive result in the future. if you're really sick of stagnating and stuff then see what you'd like to change - you might not be able to change it now but you can do shit which might make you able to change it in the future
but this is all terribly vague and possibly unhelpful, sorry :/
it is typical..
that as soon as one thing goes shit, it's like a cascade effect and all of a sudden everything is completely shit and you don't even know where to start dealing with it all... ahhhhh. But you just need to focus on one thing at a time, and look at things as rationally as possible. otherwise it'll just overwhelm you.
And when you finally turn the corner... it makes the good times really fucking good, you don't take them for granted anymore when you've been through shit. Hope everything works out... it'll take time and you need to want it to happen. You'll get there though.
life r gay
you only like music because no-one actually likesx you
such is life and that
x
:( I dont like phil
booooooooooooo! *slaps with smelly fish*