I bought this rather dull magazine for 4 whole years as a student and sometimes twice a week as I felt so guilty so stop making comic asides or sarcastic 'have a good evening' or my "I will" replied will be screamed into your face next time. I'm referring to the one outside Lambeth North. Youre not funny and you won't be discovered and given a role on Extras you know.
Yours,
Typical person in london getting less left wing as he gets older.
one seller
who happened to be pretty racist enlightened me to the turf wars involved in selling the big issue
Is he likely to ever read this?
Do the homeless now have online access? Perhaps he logs onto DiS using his Blackberry/handheld PDA?
I don't think most of them are being sarky
when they say 'have a good evening,' unless they're doing it to you in the style of the most sarcastic priest in the world.
Obvious reply ahoy, of course.
They're not as bad as chuggers....
man, I hate chuggers.
Buy the Big Issue!
Get two free staples!
Some 'wacky' gent in Manchester once said to me. I walked past him and bought it off the next person.
I said "Sorry" once
As in, "Sorry I don't want to buy your shit magazine" and I got in return "DON'T BE FUCKING SORRY FOR ME YOU CUNT"
I now say "No thanks"
i despise them
just because they make me feel guilty for not buying a poorly written, shit magazine. simply by being nice about me not wanting it.
"big issue?"
"no thanks"
"thank you sir"
damn you for your kindness!
I had one that told me to
"Have a safe journey home". I automatically replied "thanks, you too" and then hoped the ground would swallow me up :(
they have homes usually!
just not the most permanent of ones
I just thought it made me sound
cruel and heartless.
'Helping the Homeless Help Themselves'
I once changed this 'wacky student style' to 'Helping the Homeless Help The Elves'
ha ha LOOL see what I did there?
A chugger once hassled my about Red Cross and I said 'ive got a direct debit' and he said in his stupid posh beard Foals fan way 'No I don't think you have sir' to which I stopped and smugly got a bank statement out of my bag and said 'want a look, or will you say 10 pounds a month isn't enough?' - he backed down.
Sadly one of my oldest and closest friends owns and runs a business who puts these people on the streets. That's a public school education for you.
a charity cunt
told me to "smile mate, can't be that bad" as I walked past ignoring him once, I called him a stupid prick cunt and that he should mind his own business, a standoff ensued. I thought about hitting him but the fact he was collecting for charity made me feel it would be the wrong thing to do, although it would have made me feel better, maybe I should have, he would have inadvertently improved my bad day for me !
I love chuggers!
They're a great way to let of my unrelenting anger and back catalogue of one line put downs
I said "Would you like a hand?"...
...to a woman with one arm the other day. That's worse.
saying 'no thanks' or similar to sellers / leafleters / chuggers
is fine.
Walking past blanking them = you are scum and the least you deserve is a sarky comment. When flyering I usually plump for 'cheers mate!' Rude cunts.
Should we write letters of thanks to people who send junk mail then?
It's unsolicted marketing contact. If they want to try and harass me without my consent, expect to be abused.
I quite like "Sorry, I'm in a rush"
As you saunter lazily along without a care in the world...
maybe to the first one or two,
but after the 15th has hassled me in the space of 100 yards they're having a blank stare.
A few days ago, walking down Market Street in Manchester
some chugger tried to endear himself to me and my girlfriend by saying, 'you don't look like you belong together - are you brother and sister? She's a bit tall, isn't she?'. It's thinking back at times like this that make me wish I had that snap 'fuck off!' reflex with people that everyone else has.
The man at London Bridge annoys me
he always says "CARE" at me as I walk past saying "no thanks". Because obviously if you don't buy it you don't care about anyone.