Well is it? Obviously it's not very good manners, but in todays world, where we are more frequently communicating by text, email or social networking sites than by face to face means or phonecalls, is it just perfectly acceptable to ignore a person rather than go through the hassle of replying to them.
I'm sure we've all got people we know who, without the medium of facebook or myspace, we would never see or speak to have any contact with. Say one of these people messages you out of the blue and wants to meet up for a drink but, for whatever reason, you don't want to. Is it better to ignore them or should you message them back with a truthful explanation when perhaps the truth would hurt their feelings more?
The reason i ask is that a girl i used to go out with is soon to be returning from Australia after over a year away. I kept in contact with her for the first couple of months but then lost interest and realised that she was starting to annoy me. I then started thinking back to the time we were together and it slowly dawned on me that she was a complete twat and that i had probably been blindly by the red hot loving she dished out. Well now she wants to see me and has said she hasn't stopped thinking of me all year. I guess this would be a nice thing to hear if she wasn't a complete psycho. i've changed my phone number since she left, so she doesn't have that, and i no longer use facebook but she's sent me a few emails and myspace messages (which i haven't opened). I took the decision to ignore them in the hope that she would take the hint and i could spare her feelings and avoid telling her that i thought she was ever so slightly tapped for various reasons, but now she's started contacting my friends through facebook with increasingly irate messages and i think she's found out where i live.
What to do?
right. don't give anyone reason to think you're the wanker.
why don't you message her and let her down politely? then you'll avoid any future embarrassment.
^ruined a brilliant opportunity for a zero replier.
that never would have happened.
That would have been funny.
A bit obvious, but very funny.
that's what i came here to say
pretty much this^
just contact her, and say some stuff like you have moved on, or whatever. dont leave her hanging.
I don't really care if she thinks i'm a wanker.
I've made my peace with that long ago.
There will be no letting her down gently because after a few of the things she did its either the whole truth or just ignoring her completely.
"the things she did"
we're going to need some examples man.
Depends entirely on the circumstances
In your case, no. Just tell her. But some people do fuck me off when they carry on text conversations
Shoot her.
In the face too so she can't have an open casket. Job done
yes
my life is based around my uncanny ability to ignore, blank and cut people out of my life in a moments notice.
you shuold probably
just start sleeping with her again, apparently psycho girls are better in bed?
No no no!!
I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of relief when she left, but i couldn't quite put my finger on why i felt that way. To sleep with her now would be the height of stupidity.
Though, on the otherhand, she did have an amazing body.
well there you go then
take what you can get, boy!
Perhaps its the drink talking
but maybe i'll drop her a reply and tell her i love her.
How to explain away my previous ignorance?
just say you were in a country where phones and computers dont exist
i dont know which country though.
but then if shes crazy she wont care, she will just be deliriously, manically happy that you are in contact again. result.
Hmmmm
that might just be believable.
No, what am i thinking? I'll just end up saying things i don't mean in the heat of the moment and then when she gets her claws into me again i'll never be shot of her.
I can't be sure, but i think i only put up with her nonsense last time to annoy someone else. Now that ship has well and truly sailed, having any sort of contact would be silly. Very silly.
lolzz
im inciting you to get back involved with this wench and i have no idea why!
who were you trying to annoy by putting up with her shit yo?
I'm sorry to say i was predominantly doing it to annoy my ex-girlfriend.
To begin with i wasn't, i genuinely liked this psycho girl. Then, the first time i slept with her, she noticed some tiny scratches down my side and started going mad at me saying that i was sleeping with someone else, despite my innocent protestations. Usually, I'd have got shot of her after this but i wanted my old 5 ft nothing, rather dumpy ex girlfriend (who royally screwed me over) to see me with this 5' 10" blonde fashion model. (She eventually did and it broke her, so mission accomplished there). This girl did countless other stroppy things, played silly games and basically annoyed the hell out of me. High maintenance of the highest order!
in this story it seems
like far too many people are being screwed over. i think you are a drama-monger! if you had a nice relationship where no one was getting fucked up or crapped on, you would probably hate it. i say: get back with this mentalist and play some crafty mind games. good times.
No honestly
I'm not like that. It was just a bad time in my life that is well and truly over. I'm far too lazy for mindgames and all i want now is a quiet life, which is why i've taken a vow to stay forever single.
you are doing it again!!
DRAMA MONGER!!! ha ha :P
How is that being a drama monger?
Maybe i am?
Why do so many people equate "blonde" with "good looking"?
I've never understood that. The best looking girls I generally notice tend to be Asian or Latino.
The polite thing is to say you don't want contact.
But to be honest if you ignore someone for long enough they should get the message.
Is it polite to say "I don't contact with you"
It doesn't seem very polite at all.
Also, I have been on the receiving end of a non-requited text, so i know what it feels like. At first you think that perhaps they didn't recieve it due to a poor signal or phone failure. Then you consider sending the dreaded double text and perhaps do so. Then, after a few days and sleepless nights you realise that they have such disdain for you that they don't think you warrant any sort of answer and you gradually come to terms with the fact that they hate you and move on. You're also left with the realisation that if you had been man enough to phone them instead of sending a lame-arsed text you'd have put them in such an awkward position that they would have had to make up an embarrassing, impromptu excuse or, instead, go out with you. A result either way.
Well, actually you're right.
I suppose what I should have said is the "polite thing" is to let somene down gently. But then that's not working you do need to not respond.
Like you, I've been both on the receiving end and the ignoring end. And actually the more I think about it, when somoene has done the "ignoring me" it has been far kinder than actually saying something would have been.
Ignoring someone gives a polite message. Saying to someone "stop contacting me" probably makes them feel a stalker...
just ignore her
i do this when scary men get my number and try and force me to date them. i have a funny story about that actually but i think the person still stalks my dis posts so i'll leave it for now.
I do not!
LEAVE ME ALONE PAUL
IT'S OVER
IT WAS NEVER EVEN UNDER
More sort of "in between", would you say?
.
Dear Sir,
I found the following inappropriate content at http://drownedinsound.com/articles/3235844;
"More sort of "in between", would you say?
"
just e-mail her back and say you don't want contact or lie and say you're with someone?
I've done this twice and it's worked - a married ex-boyfriend kept contacting me repeatedly, on Myspace, and then Facebook, and I just sent him a message saying we have nothing in common and he should leave me alone.
It was really harsh, but we didn't have anything in common at all, and it seemed easiest than getting into e-mail banter.
No can do, i'm afraid.
One of my idiot friends has already spilled the beans when she asking him where i was and why i wasn't on any social networking sites anymore. She asked whether i had a girlfriend and he replied in the negative, despite me telling everyone not to metion anything about me.
To counter this, I told him that he should try and go out with her and that she had always had a soft spot for him. After all, she did often used to go on about how much she liked him the most out of all my friends and how great a husband and father he was. He's now getting divorced and is now engaging in a rather haphazard attempt to woo her over the internet. The fool!!!
oh scutter scutterly-scutt boo boo!
You don't 'arf pick em do ya dollface? That time when you hooked up with that trollope with the flakey skin, in a hovel in some east/south London project marvelous...ha ha ha huge source of amusement you are. So what are you going to do about your Sheila? concerned, Reincarnation.
Ha ha, I can't believe someone remembers that story.
it was extremely harrowing.
Yes- my judgement isn't the best. I'm usually blinded by looks or booze and it really has never worked out in my favour. Ever!
I think i'm just going to continue to ignore this one and hope that she goes away or, at the very least, doesn't turn up at my door.
I'm touched by your concern xx
DON'T IGNORE HER
Just tell her the fucking truth you big pussy. Someone has done this to me recently and it's really upset me. Had they told me the truth I really wouldn't have minded, so just tell her straight, dawg.
So you're the one who's been upsetting Uma Thurman.
Shame on you!
So how long did she ignore you for and what made the penny finally drop?