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The website of Daphne Fowler
9 votes
?
by doctornovocalcords
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From the Archive - Sensuous Talks: Cornelius chats to DiS about his music
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From the Archive - Sensuous Talks: Cornelius chats to DiS about his music
CJ clearly wants her
It brings a bit of sick up into my mouth.
Spurious
Oh my god.
I click on Press, expecting life changing news
and I get shit like
"Coincidentalty, Mrs Fowler's grand-daughter Gemma Hudson, aged 10, won the Sue Latham Comedy Cup at the Bristol Dance Eisteddfod.
The cup is given for the best character comedy performance of the week-long event which was held at Backwell School and is usually won by older competitors."
Why is that a coincidence?
I know, right?
The headline is "Winning Runs
In The Family".
The only mention of winning, other than Daphne herself, is this granddaughter thing.
A) That's not coincidental
B) That barely counts as 'winning'. If that's the closest anyone else in her family has gotten to winning, well... it hardly 'runs in the family'.
Hang on
They have Eggheads in Belgium?
eihoofden
We get all the BBC channels and
OMG, no tv licensesscceee.
Bloody Belgians
Coming over here, stealing our telly quiz shows...
whats she called
if you dont like eggheads?
TERRIFYING
http://www.daphnefowler.com/images/I009.jpg
bit of a looker in her younger days
come to bed eyes
http://www.daphnefowler.com/images/GA_021.jpg
I've resisted temptation
to have that as my new desktop
Does anybody remember that week she had burst blood vessels in her eyes?
She had bright red eyes, just reinforcing my instinct that she's actually some kind of witch.
No human smiles that much, with such soullessness.
O RLY?
"Most of my blouses come either from Eastex or Marks and Spencer. I do buy a few tops, mainly cardigans from catalogues although quite often I’m disappointed when the colour turns out to be nothing like the photograph. Anyone else have the same problem?"
TASTY
· 1960 · Married my first husband and moved to Weston-super-Mare.
· 1975 · Joined NatWest as a secretary.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't realise people as boring as her still existed.
I thought they were all killed off.
She's practically identical to my grandma
I thought all everyone's grandmothers did was buy blouses from M&S.
Nah.
Mine just spends her days insulting Fianna Fail and Des Lynam, scouring newspapers for typos and sending them angry letters, juggling and making tea.
She could easily take Daphne Fowler in a fight.
Juggling?
your granny must be pretty limber
She used to be in a circus!
Daphne Fowler (née Bradshaw, also formerly known as Daphne Hudson, born 1939 (age 68–69)) in Warwick, Warwickshire, England)'s website links to this website http://www.12yard.com/quiz/ which looks like the best thing ever.
I hadn't discovered this before.
has she passed down any circus skills?
That website looks too scary to log in. I am terrified Chris's massive head will appear and talk directly to me.
I think you should join.
Practise for the audition!
I am playing Kevin Ashman and losing, badly.
No circus skills :(
The only thing I seem to have inherited from my Granny is her weirdly double-jointed thumbs. Pathetic.
Oh
and her hatred of Des Lynam, obvz.
double-jointedness is underrated
I have double-jointed knees. It's impressive/hideous.
Chris is going down.
I just lost 8-7 to CJ on Food & Drink.
His victory message is actually the smuggest thing I've ever heard in my life.
How the hell do double-jointed knees work? That sounds more impressive than hideous.
I lost 8-7 on sport to Chris 3 times
It keeps throwing in something unknowable so he can laugh at how terrible I am. grrr
Double-jointedness is just absurd flexibility so my knees and thus lower legs can face sideways and sort of turn back on themselves. Hard to explain. It only gets wheeled out upon request when I am suggestible (drunk) enough. It looks unpleasant.
Chris keeps beating me
tosser
Damn
I wish mine did that.
She spends her days either buying beige-flavoure blouses from M&S, and when she's not in M&S she just talks about how much she loves M&S.
Occasionally she plays bridge.
The website of Pauline Fowler
Massive stretched picture of Betty
'Under construction' animated gifs
Midi of Vera Lynn's classic We'll Meet Again
the bitch never replies to her e-mails
that some way to treat your biggest fan
You have bested me, Challenger - but I would crush you at chess.
I BEAT CJ.
AAAH!
AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!
she's been doing tv quizzes for twenty five years?
couldn't she just go down the pub instead?