Hmm, you know those horrible feelings that make you almost gag...
* When you sit down to go to the toilet and your penis touch the bowl/rim of the toilet pan
* When you step in a wet patch with socks on
* When you bite into a ham roll and all you can feel is that gelatine type texture
* When you're brushing your teeth and you accidentally push the brush too far in and you almost choke
others?
papercuts
Biting the inside of your mouth.
okok
i can'touch dry wood so i lick ice lololoies backward. plenty more
lolly sticks are horrible
i dont know why they still use them.
it was my dad's birthday yesterday
and we went into the back garden to give him his presents, because he was sitting out there. i went out without shoes on, thinking that the grass would be dry because it was really sunny.
HOW WRONG I WAS
being punched
The realisation
that you've just said/done something bad that's going to have a huge impact i.e being caught out cheating, telling someone you dont want to be with them any more.
in the gut
and it's so bad
it makes you want to be sick. Not nice. :(
but there are women present
you can't act the wimp around women so you must clench and hope it dissipates soon
If you're a man
then you retreat to your cave. Or some other quiet place of solitude like your flat/room/a toilet cubicle until you've managed to bury the bad feeling deep inside until it erupts at a later date along with all the other bad shit you've repressed.........men are awesome.
and it does dissipate
but as an extremely loud fart, when you're stood right next to a very pretty lady.
The moment you realise youhave forgotten someting
rather important and that it is too late to do anything about it.
Plus the penis one.
when you get drunk
and want to text someone that you really REALLY shoudlnt text
and wake up in the morning and think
WHY GOD WHY????
And then you look at the phone
and there is the new message icon and you just know it's a reply.
but you've been clever and tricked yourself
by deleting the message you sent
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE CONTEXT?
i havent actually done it yet though
but im going to be drinking all day tomorrow so it might still happen
When you look at the month
and figure it probably shouldn't be THAT far away from last Christmas.
Knocking teeth whilst kissing someone.
^ this
doin it the FIRST time you
ever went to kiss someone is completely embarrassing...
i thought most people
just completely blocked their first kiss from their memory altogether
Coughing, in a que at waitrose
and expelling a pellet of phlegm on a ladys coat.- knowing that she was unaware, but the folks behind me were.
oh dear god
WHAT DID YOU DO?
You should never look back.
I just felt their eyes burning into me.
Burning
the roof of your mouth/tongue on hot coffee/pizza................I stole this from somewhere else...........definitely not another thread, though.
i burnt my chin
on hot pizza once. true story.
when you're kissing someone and they slip the tongue in when you're unprepared
and you start heaving
when you're kissing someone and they have bad breath
when you're kissing someone and they're a little taller than you
and they're a bit drunk on top of that, and they start to kiss your nose.
what's wrong with nose kissing?
in this particular incident
the tongue was going right up inside my nose. like properly making out with my nose.
gentle nose kisses and eskimo kisses are okay, though.
ewwww
:(
oh, i see
that's not very nice at all :(
do you just not like kissing full stop?
When you're kissing someone
and you realise that someone else is watching........................
i dont get it
you get all weirded out like
"why the fuck are they staring? never mind them, i'm making out with this hottie... oh my god, they're still staring at me! what a weirdo! maybe i have something on my face? am i doing this wrong? SRSLY WHAT'S THE PROBLEM!?", etc.
oh right
well if theyre properly STARING at you then that would be weird, but if its like, other people happen to see you making out, then thats kind of different
(its late and ive been drinking, i really hope this makes sense)
Exhibitionist
when you're not kissing anyone
:''''(
better to kiss no-one
than to kiss a munter.
being stabbed in the eye
drinking pus
sexing a jellyfish.
all fairly poor.
DRINKING PUS?
im going to have nightmares about that for a month now. THANKS.
just do it
then you won't be suffering for a whole month. just a few hours i guess.
i would still be traumatised for life though
true dat
ok it's a lose-lose situation. let's hope it never arises.
BUT THE MENTAL IMAGES ARE THERE NOW
ITS TOO LATE
:(
just keep believing
:(? = :)!
sexing a jellyfish!
ow ow ow ow ow!
knowing for sure
that you have to and are most certainly going to be sick
knowing your about to 'whitey'
touching, feeling wet/not defrosted enough bread
when something embeds itself or stabs you underneath your nail
those weird moments when you think about your own death and it makes you shiver (although its strangely endearing afterwards)
seeing old men cry
*you're
feeling like being sick but knowing you can't be
so you just feel terrible.
'whitey'?
do the cool kids still say this?
A "whitey" is what happens when you smoke too much weed at one sitting and your face goes all white and you get starry-eyed and sweaty.
http://www.channels.nl/knowledge/24820.html
like larry david?
oh right
i dont know, im all foreign and stuff
however the strange euphoria
post-vomit is brilliant...i love that feeling
you can freeze bread?
Realizing that you are always and forever YOURSELF
and that you cannot change that fact.
realising i'll never be j mascis
:(
or nick cave
:(
:(
you just had to go all emo didnt you.
Its not about emotions
Its about being unable to transcend physical form.
:(
You will eventually
realising that you will never be tom whyman
because you don't have stilts and you can't play the accordion.
:'(
does he realy have stilts?
not that i'm aware of
but i will need stilts if i am to steal his identity. which is the plan.
major letdown
i was hoping you were going to say he was in the circus or something.
to make up for the disappointment, here is a picture
of a friend from whom i plan to borrow stilts:
http://tinyurl.com/3urcz6
wow
hes almost as tall as tom whyman!
but he has better hair
and better dress sense.
very true.
and look at the girl hes got on his arm. impressive.
:(
Drinking orange juice
just after brushing your teeth.
I never learn. :(
brushing your teeth with hot water
* paint thinner
that is a bit annoying
* urine
always a pisser
brushing your teeth
with wire wool. oops.
* battery acid
* chimp blood
* diarrhea
*bile
leaving a can of beer on the table at a party
and confusing it with the ashtray can.
That's not a horrible feeling
That's just utter silliency
But everyone's
done it.....haven't they?
and the realising is an awful feeling
thing is
do you pretend that you havent just gulped down a mouthful of ashy beer or play it cool and ditch the can when no-one's looking?
I dunno
I find the fag ends stuck in your stubble is always a clue.
keep your cool
then excuse yourself to the bathroom and violently puke your guts out
Touche
Alas, I haven't.
looking at your last fm neighbours
and finding melesmeles's name.
Seeing a thread with Vikram_ or MirriLondon in the title
when all you can remember from last night
is one line you said and its cringeworthy-ness
Opening exam papers
to find it contains exactly what you decided NOT to revise
oh god
I bet this is going to happen to me
Me too
I have that horrible uneasy feeling now that you get beforehand when you're resigned to your fate, it's the confirmation that you're going to fail that's the worst though.
Re: The choking on toothbrush thing.
I once trod on a drawing pin, fell over and the brush lodged itself.
BAD FEELING.