Dear Mr Wenger
Can we spend some money this summer and sign Ashley Young and Micah Richards please? I guess we'll be needing a DM too. It might be an idea if we start moving Diaby in there, but if you feel we need to sign somebody, you have my blessing.
Can Walcott be first choice next season too? Ta
Yours eternally,
dove_from_above
33, Croydon
p.s. Can we also sell Eboue like, now? And Hleb can do one too if he wants, the simian-looking shmuck
Dear Mr Grant
I was thinking of popping down to the Job Centre later. Is there anything good going?
Regards
Dan
the Baboon in Get Stuffed
looks loads like Hleb
I walk passed that shop every day.
That Polar bear is turning out to be a bit of a white elephant.
Dear 'coolest people in the world club'
we've really outdone ourselves this year havent we?
i'd just like to say a big congratulations to everyone in our proud little society, for staying sexy, and being SO DAMN COOL.
lots of love,
your adored leader,
sophia xxxxxxx
You're so not in that club it's not even funny
:'(
why are you so mean to me?
i dont need your address anymore now cos you're such a big fat MEANO
You were never going to post anything anyway!
You lie woman, you lie real good
i was!
you'll eat your words, 'foo!
then again, now i hate you so i probably wont send anything.
so glad someone posted that response.
f**k football.
Dear portsmouth
thankyou very much for managing to lose at home to fullham, it was a great service of duty, i now look forward to you losing raelly really badly to cardiff on saturday as you clear deserve it you bunch of utter cunts!
regards
reece
^This
Dear Reading,
Why did you have to get relegated? Why? I feel so miserable it's untrue.
I hope you are happy.
:'(
Dear mac_daddy fanclub,
Tell your friends about me, please! It's too quiet in here :(
Jack
x
...
Dear Mr McCann
CC. Mr Etchell
Please don't put prices up to £10 like other dickhead clubs in the Ryman League. Otherwise loving your work.
Best wishes
John
Dear Mr Mandaric and Mr Holloway
It's no good, that.
Yours etc
Simon T
Dear Mr Benitez
Would you please stop believing that Dirk Kuyt is the saviour we've all been waiting for? Yes he runs about a lot, but so does my cat, and he doesn't have a first team place in a 'big four' team. Also, can we get rid of some of our superfluous players?
I'd really be happy if we signed a top quality winger, maybe that David Bentley everyone is raving about? We badly need a good left back as well, but you're aware of that, so I'll let you sort that one out. If you could get Xabi and Peter to stay, I'd be very happy indeed. Don't worry about Andriy and Harry, they're a bit overrated.
Also, please don't sign another DM. We're quite overstocked there- see if you can find us an Elano please.
Yours Faithfully
lemonbrickcombo, 20
Essex
.
Dear Mr Curbishley,
I don't care what anyone says. I love you and I probably always will. You remind me a bit of my dad but if my dad liked football more and came from East London, which are two of the main things he lacks. Please don't think that the pricks who boo you represent the majority of the fan base. They don't. They're just pricks.
I don't care who you buy. Even if the rumours about Stephen Carr and Harry Kewell are true, I'll still love you.
xxxx
David
You can have Harry.
Please have Harry.