The Duke of Elderberry wishes to make an annoucement:

As of three o'clock this morning, my 88 acres are off limits to all ragamuffins and hawkers. I caught a couple of buggers messing with one's pheasents last night. Suffice to say I went to give them a taste of my cat o'nine tails, but they scarpered. I retired to the master bedroom to give Mrs Elderberry a good seeing to. I sent word via homing pidgeon to the surrounding counties. A shiny shilling to anyone who has information pertaining to this atrocity.

Also, as a side note, due to my favourite minstrels now outputting their musical flavour on a new fangled compact disc(?!), Mrs Elderberry wants to upgrade. My antique grammerphone player is on the market if anyone fancies it? toff toff, i'm off for some bollinger and some croquet. Toodle pip!