The Lipster

1. HE ARTFULLY BALANCES ‘HEARTTHROB’ AND ‘PROPER ACTOR’

To all those pretty boy actors who claim they never get meaty roles because they don’t look gritty enough: take a look at Johnny Depp’s career. He can’t help having mesmerising eyes, oh-my-goodness lips and cheekbones you could slice a baguette with. But his stock-in-trade character is ‘damaged’. From Gilbert Grape to Ed Wood, he has never let his beauty get in the way of a good role.

2. HE LIKES A GLASS OF WINE, OR FIVE

To the extent that, on splitting up with Winona Ryder in 1993, he altered his ‘Winona Forever’ tattoo to say ‘Wino Forever.’ Paparazzi shots taken between scenes of the last Pirates Of The Caribbean movie showed Johnny relaxing on a boat, still in his Captain Jack Sparrow bandana, cradling a huge glass of red. When was the last time you saw Brad Pitt looking so comfortably cool? Oh, that’s right: never.

3. HE’S IN LOVE WITH VANESSA PARADIS…

…and so are we. Officially the most stylish, most beautifully cheekboned creature in existence (other than Johnny), we’ve been obsessed with Mademoiselle Paradis since that Coco Chanel birdcage campaign back in 1992. And Miuccia Prada clearly agrees with us, last week replacing grubby rehab regular Kirsten Dunst with 35-year-old Paradis as the new face of Miu Miu. Yep, she’s still got it.

4. ...BUT THEY’RE NOT MARRIED

Weddings are fun (and, oh, how we would LOVE to be a guest at the Depp/Paradis nuptials), but the couple’s refusal to tie the knot makes the very idea of marriage seem horribly uncool. Maybe it’s Vanessa’s devil-may-care way of referring to Johnny as "my boyfriend" or his insistence that, "it would be a shame to ruin her last name. It’s so perfect." Ahh…

5. TIM BURTON IS HIS BFF

The imaginatively-coiffed director has been a close friend since casting Johnny in 1990’s Edward Scissorhands and has since directed his chiselled muse in no less than five other films. Tim and his sartorially courageous wife, Helena Bonham Carter, regularly welcome the Paradis-Depps to their Belsize Park home. Wonder what they talk about? Backcombing? Gothic make-up? Oh, to be a fly on the wall…

6. HE’S A FRANGLOPHILE

He loves France because it’s sexy and laidback and all about wine and cheese and style. But he loves Britain so much he agreed to appear on The Fast Show:

And, yes, The Vicar Of Dibley:

And we love him for it.

7. HE GOES ALL GOOEY WHEN TALKING ABOUT HIS KIDS

The artfully dishevelled roll-up-toting serious actor goes out of the window as soon as the subject of his totally adorable children (Lily-Rose, 9 and Jack, 6) comes up. "It was not just the greatest thing that ever happened to me," he said after the birth of Lily-Rose. "It's the only thing that ever happened to me. I helped give our daughter life and she gave me life."

8. HE MAKES BEING SWALLOWED BY A BED LOOK COOL

The big retro headphones, the cut-off American football top, the randomness of his death at the hands (or, more accurately, claws) of Freddie Krueger… Johnny’s appearance in 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street (his first ever acting job) may have been brief, but it was unforgettable.

9. HIS ‘QUIRKY’ STYLE

Johnny’s red carpet uniform of baggy suits and purple-lensed sunglasses should be wrong, but he makes it look so right. Probably because he wears it with that I’d-rather-be-in-France-with-my-kids-than-here attitude. His off-duty style is shambolically sexy, and best described by the man himself: "My mom and dad dressed me up as a hobo for Halloween when I was three years old," he says. "The only difference between now and then is that then they drew more beard on me than I can actually grow."

10. THOSE BOOTS

He can afford to buy new ones. But he just likes these ones. Is that OK with you? No? Well he doesn’t care because he’s so damn cool.

Sweeney Todd is out on DVD on this week