and i've sort of fancied her from afar for a while now. she seems fantastic, and there's been bashful looks, half smiles, and lots of me promising myself that one day i'll say hi.
today was that day, but, shit, it turns out it's her last day. typical.
for some reason it feels very important that i ask her out. so, dis, any suggestions?
i know which office she works in, but don't want to embarrass the poor girl. i also don't want to hover in the corridor like a freak or go for a million cigarette breaks in the hope that she'll be out for one of them, but that's actually my best plan so far.
i'm bad at this.
MAN MARRIES GOAT
Start a fire in her office,
then rescue her. Guaranteed success.
It worked in San Andreas
I always wondered
why she never tried to find out what had caused the fire. There were at least two witnesses who saw me (as CJ) lobbing in molotov cocktails.
"Car Trouble?"
*Arrested Development reference No1.
oh dear, there's a girl in a building
first a bus stop, now this?
what next? Girl in a supermarket?
girls voting?
OUTRAGE!
back to the realm of domesticity women!
WHAT?
I wasn't trained for this!
You should have paid more attention
this was all covered in last Thursday's lesson
Rapesco
her good and proper.
MAP23BARRELSO'FUN/10
:D
is it me?
its my last day today ;)
*awaits comedy reply thread
where girl in building moans about collegue fancying her from afar*
SWEARS SHE'S ELVIS
I came in here to say that
Bollocks.
heh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL_DIbdxM90
Approach her and say
something like 'hi, fancy going for a drink sometime?'
^ 5
well, yeah
that would be the plan.
it's engineering the meeting that's the problem (see above).
i can't decide whether knocking on her office door would be freakish, or would win me major points.
Find out her extension
and do it over the phone.
*whilst wearing a smoking jacket, a foam dome
and a turtle water aid.
you grew balls too late.
Sorry.
No balls, no date.
Alan Stubbs hates you
Who ?
Alan stubbs REALLY hates you
I've heard that girls love cock
Show her your cock
Or, failing that, someone elses...
Hmmm, you never know which type she'll like
so best leave a collection of them in her desk drawer.
^^
Good thinking
Or failing that
drop your flies, let your cock dangle out, pull out your pockets, go up to her and ask her if she's met Ernie the Elephant.
^ this
it works
this happened to me.
I was working for a bank. There was an amazingly cute Polish girl working in the same building. We used to go for our butties at the same time. There was definite chemistry. We never actually spoke that much but there was lots of smiling and occasionally we'd go for the same sandwich and chuckle. I probably got a bit carried away with the whole (non)situation in my head, thinking about her, making sure we accidentally bumped into eachother each day etc, i was convinced we'd end up going for a drink and hopefully getting down. I was going to ask her out on Friday, FRIDAY, definitely Friday, i'd made up my mind, it was very carefully planned. On Friday she wasn't there, i was a bit non-plussed. Turns out she'd left the country. I sometimes have that affect on women.
She'd waited long enough
shouldnt have been so twee about it
That happened to me...
Only I was the one that left - temping sucks. She's still there, and I'm pretty sure she lives in the same postcode as me, so I'm just praying I meet her in the street one day.
"Hey, Isabela! I've missed you so much!"
Le sigh :(
i wouldn't do anything
i mean if you ask her out she'll probably just say no.
as homer simpson said, trying is the first step towards faliure. you don't want to fail do you?
I normally would agree with this ^
but as he will never see her again he might as well go for it. I think he should just email her a link to this thread
if hes never gonna see her again
he may aswell rape her
Start a fight
Girls heart guys who punch other guys in faces.
e-mail her
poke her on facebook?
leave her a note?
get one of your mates to ask her out, school disco style?
make smalltalk in the lift with her
then enforce a ruthless agrarian military regime on Cambodia resulting in the death of millions, then use "after work drinks" as an excuse to ask her to the pub.
walk up to her and smash your cock down on the table and start stapling
it around the edges while singing ave maria and spraying champagne with your free hand.
then shell be butter in your mouth
OH FOR FUCK'S STATE
just send her a lewd e-mail
erm, sake
^ ffs, learn how to smell.
Does that work?
I don't know
Do you think it's working?
I'm pretty happy with the results so far
I'll get back to your last e-mail soon
promise.
ok
don't forget to be lewd!
you couldn't be lewd if you tried!
Could you? Could you try?
It would clash with my smoothness!
;)
aw, and that's what I like about you!
Even though telling me how smooth you are all the time, suggests that you're not! Ha ha.
x
if you work for the Guardian
I'm going to kick the living shit out of you, cos that's my missis.
Email :P
no effort and no embarassing trail :P
"embarrassing trail"
eww
i don't work for the guardian
and don't have her e-mail sadly. she works for another company, same building. don't know her name either.
i've just been for my 7th cigarette of the day. no dice.
if this doesn't work out well, i'm going to listen to emo then kill myself.
ASK HER OUT MAN ALIVE!
Really, do this. MTFU and go over, thinking your da bomb and ask her for her number.
Piece of piss. Hesitate and she'll see you for the scared, insecure, weak male that we all are deep down.
The can smell fear.
..
if it comes to lunchtime and i haven't bumped into her by accident, this is the plan.
ill meet you at the black parade
Set off the fire alarm
and find her outside.
(Don't actually do it, or if you do, make sure it was an accident)
Remember:
You're the don.
She's lucky you're talking to her.
You're the most confident person ever.
YEAH. Take that woman.
You gotta let us know how it turns out.
stride over and say "woman...my balls gonna meet your chin"
but first, im takin you out
actual genius
it's well romantic as well
as long as no one dies in a real fire at the time
just look really upset at the funeral
and get a sympathy fuck?
MEGALOLZ - That will work better than
be a stuttering shithead.
Probably. I dunno. I'm hardly Don Juan.
Or Don Hwan for that matter.
Are you GalacticStar3ruption?
Is she having leaving drinks?
ok
3 minutes and i'm going over.
it's really shit how you can't drink at work in the morning.
well?
she has a boyfriend. fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
i'm never doing anything again ever...
fuck.
..
e-hug coming your way
:(
this has depressed me slightly
is your username after the denis johnson book?
no,
it's a line in the velvet underground song heroin. i think the book took it from there too.
ah right
I think it did, it is a good book
well done for asking
seriously.
Well, it could have been worse,
she could have tell you that you were ugly or that she wasn't THAT desperate...
Bollocks to that
THEY ALL HAVE BOYFRIENDS.
No nice girl is gonna be single. Alpha her face off and get her number.
Fair play for doing it though. It's the first step to becoming an insecure, nervous wreck.
Yeah
If you find a hot girl with no boyfriend back away there must be something really fucking wrong with her. Like webbed feet or she might be a Chelsea fan.
true
and there's still a certain sense of self worth to cling onto in the fact that i actually did it, and didn't just sit around wondering, even though it was essentially a massive fail.
it's not a fail
if you manage to do it regularly from now till it finally works with someone !
It's no fail
To make an omlette you gott abreak a few eggs.
Or
To get a nice girlfriend, you gotta go through months or rejection and personal humilation.
Seriously tohugh, start out with the assumption that every girl has a bloke and you feel much better about the world.
why humiliation ?
It's part of the game.
And yes, there's always the possibility of the girl not being single. So what ? Qui ne tente rien, n'a rien.
..
made my day more interesting anyway.
thanks internet folk.
^ exactly
you gotta try these things.
I'm well impressed you had the balls to do it in the first place
exactly.
and it's not like the world ended so clearly you can do it again.
maybe the girl who comes in to replace her will be totally hot too...
hats off
to paraphrase Andrew Weatherall: you may fail but at least you had a fucking go!
you are now invincible this weekend.
I bet you score elsewhere.
you'll have that aura about ya....
sEE AGREE WITH EVERYONE
nO FAIL AT ALL.....YOU ASKED, FOUND OUT (not what you wanted to hear I admit) but you would have never have known otherwise.