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I've got the driving test tomorrow

10 votes
?
by anInvisibleRepublic

but amn't really arsed about it - probably cos I know I'll fail in all likelihood. However, I know I should be reading the rules of the road and all that but am very easily distracted.

Give me a quick/humorous synopsis of the rules of the road please.

GO!

anInvisibleRepublic | 04 Jun '08, 22:51 | Send note | Report this | Reply

IF YOU SEE OTHER CARS

APPLY THE BRAKES AND SOUND YOUR HORN


jack off til yr dick hurts

and aim yr cum all over the examiner

especially if stuck in traffic


Brakes affected by water.

If you have driven through deep water it will not be possible to apply the brakes. Unleash the red and yellow wings at the first safe opportunity by talking gently to the vehicle make sure that the system is working. If it is not fully effective, gently apply rage.


Remember to stick your hands out of the windows to indicate.

Stick your hand through the sunroof to indicate that you're braking. You can't trust brake lights these days.


be a beautiful girl

and get a pervy examiner


check your mirror

every 10 seconds and you'll be fine. as long as you dont crash or nothing.


Kill Pedestrians

All Their Base will belong to you.


overtake all milkfloats

or they will fail you


Overtaking.

Before overtaking you should make sure

*The stereo system is sufficently playing Motorhead
*The vehicle you are planning to overtake is being driven by someone who needs taking down a peg
*You have a sufficent supply of adrenalin. If you appear to be lacking, a spare container can be found below the steering wheel.

While overtaking, you should

*Sound the horn repeatedly and make the appropriate gesture to the driver of the other vehicle
*Use your mirrors. It is not safe to assume the hair is correctly adjusted.


Brake as sharply as possible

so as to make sure you stop.


yesh

is that important? Are there some cattle-crossing-specific rules i should know?


Yes

If you see this sign (http://tinyurl.com/4trh7g) you are at least 4000 miles from the test centre and wll receive an automatic fail


noted

Im going to bed now - havent read the rules of the road but gave a good read to the 20 questions that were printed off for me. Will let ye know how it goes should anyone give a damn - including me!


Good luck!

It took me three times. Seriously though, read the highway code if you have one!


break a leg!


195: Zebra Crossings

As you approach a zebra crossing
*Distinguish whether you are approaching a Plains, Grevys or Mountain and be ready to slow down depending on the type
*You MUST give food, preferably daucus
*You MUST NOT sound your horn as this will aggrivate the zebra

See Rule 20


FAIL!

Massive failure.

What a waste of fucking time that was.





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