For the sake of anonymity, boys can be John and girls can be Jane.
John feels a bit rough
Jane is wondering what Le weekend will bring.
Blech.
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Evil.
Katie Radigan is ATUALLY starving. 12m ago
Wayne Daniel moves in 3 WEEKS! 47m ago
Steph Brindle Is quite annoyed but 4 an unknown reason? 1h ago
..
John is perfect. Thank you very much. 42s ago
Jane has to make a tough call but thinks she has to say "Mario, you're fired!
Oh god my friend is queen of these
Here we are
Jane is tired, :(
John is hurting
John
is contemplating his life. And Matt Bellamy IS God, honest!
nice one!
John: hopes Jane can finish work early
Jane: having a cappucino with her mam lol
John: sick of your bullshit
John: was going to wash the car til it started raining
Jane: not going out tonight sorry lads and lassez (sic)
i think if i had anything as crazy
as a cappucino with anyone as left field as my mum, i would laugh out loud too
I was thinking that.
Jane walks into Starbucks and says: "I'LL HAVE A CAPPUCINO!!!!!!!!"
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
oh my god
'[X person] SO knows how to do festival chic!'
Once I've finished yakking up on my computer I'm getting rid of her.
i deleted my ex-housemate recently
cos she updated every fucking couple of hours and I was constantly reminded of her stupid fucking alcohol problem and her shitty fucking cat shitting and puking everywhere and her fucking SHIT guitar playing and her SHIT knowledge about music despite thinking herself an anorak and her total BULLSHIT existence
.
John still thinks Quark is shit. 18m ago
Jane wishes she knew, but she doesnt. 19m ago
Jane is a wee bit hungover... 19m ago
John's right about Quark
jane is out tonight for thai food! MMMmmmmm, yummy! :)
.
Jane is thanking crunchie it's friday... 39 min ago
John is wondering when this holiday is gonna get booked. 2h ago
Jane is wishing her sofa was more comfy. 3h ago
Oh dear,
Katharina Robinson is monsoon Belper- will it stop pissing it down... 11m ago
Rosie Morton has got that friday feeling and cant wait to see everyone tomorrow!!!! :D. 19m ago
Jordan Angharad Gould cant believe she hated gok before because she absolutly ADORES him now [:
and theres more
John: has stopped thinking about tomorrow, fuck off Fleetwood Mac
Jane: I cant wait for the weekend to begin lollez
Rosie Morton needs a punch in the tits
for saying "that friday feeling"
Is that your new status?
Please say it is.
and because he posted her realy name
people are now free to tell her that.
.
Jane has never played in BMX Bandits although her hamster did once bite an ex-member of Teenage Fanclub.
Jane wishes she was in The Sugar Hill Gang.
Jane is off to wash a fire engine.
Jane mælir með jazzinum á Prikinu á þriðjudagskvöldum.
Jane likes that all her adverts on facebook are now in Swedish. Good stalking skillz, fb.
Jane is working at the Hampton Court Palace Flower Show.
Jane is constantly malting. (I think she means moulting - JDT)
One of your Jane's is an
Icelander.
errant
apostrophe
That is correct
I hope she means malting.
Not enough malting goes on anymore.
She may have a
yeast infection.
damn!
well
Kim Stanford is a scary maika. 43m ago
Esther Barnett says "from now on you shall be called Brian that is called Brian." 1h ago
Tom Falk is going to fry in spainio. 1h ago
(smee is nonplussed now)
not strictly an update
but my friend. who is called Luke Devine (screw anonymity, awesome name) just created the Stiffkey Salt Marshes Appreciation Group. awe some.
one of my Janes is 100% optimistic 100% of the time
one of her updates the other day said "has love in her heart is not afraid of what life brings"
she's actually not annoying either.
..
John aint on a high today. 2h ago
John is preparing for a busy weekend. 2h ago
Jane is selling a Sony Ericsson K750i, £35. Message me if interested, or for details. 5h ago
Awww, poor John ain't on a high today. He wasn't on a high yesterday day either. Or the day before. Or every day since he tracked me down and added me.
John should probably seek help or just MTFU.
Jane has tried on 17 prom dresses
and still can't find out that doesn't make her look like she is up for a one night stand.
John in on holiday in Spain.
Jane hurts.
John Hi.
find one*
Jane
turns 18, gets paid a month's wages for the first time, and finds out where she is living in September today. Best day ever.
John is still in fucking Spain.
"John is still in fucking Spain"
:D Sounds like he's had a great holiday !
Further to that strange girl who added me and only ever updates about how much she loves her boyfrie
I now have another nurk who just randomly goes through all her friends' photos and only ever posts comments like:
"Looking good there Dave!"
or
"You look like you're having fun there"
For fuck's sake.
I'm going to find you and add you
and then start posting turgid shite every five minutes. I want to see how long it takes you to crack and go postal on the internets.
It's fine
I have DiS as a safety valve. And if the pressure's ever really on, I just have a shit in a bin.
^^ couples are mad on Facebook
one of the Johns and Janes post the most intimate details. There will be photos too before long.
John got a lift home from rhys
John cannot believe the time!
John Y0ualLMaDemeWh0IAm.
Jane hatesss courseworkk.
Jane O.M.G Brandon Flowers has shaved off his tash! But he's still a hottie.
a lift home from rhys???
damn.
Tell me more.
Well, I WOULD
BUT MY FAVOURITE INTERNET FRIEND ONLY WENT AND DELETED HIS FACEBOOK THE SILLY LUMP
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
QQ
:'(
God, I don't check these just remebered why-
Jane is in a reeeeeeeeeeeeeet happy mood, gonne live it up tonite with lolo....... watch it.
John is team rave alllllllll weekend! yeah boy!! (and an uncle for the third time!)
Jane is mama MIA crazy!!!! O.M.G its the bestest film since satc!!!!!
John is a fucking mess - damn u grad ball.
^Wtf
Is with all this americanism "Grad ball"
Wtf? Seriously
I was wondering this
since when do people in this country have a prom as well?
"Jane is
going to have to wear wellies with her posh frock to henley regatta ball tomorrow if it keeps raining like this"
Christ.
we had a prom when I was at school
and in true american high school fashion I lost my virginty at it, in a car park!
To a
quarterback?
under the bleachers
who kept you warm after with
a letterman jacket
geeze, I wish
that would have been so special.
I had to give my rented tux back with cum and lady juice stains on it.
We had a grad ball.
A ball. When we gradded.
gradical
is there any facebook updates that aren't banal?
i don't think i've ever seen one that ISN'T.
emm, "Jane saw the face of the devil"
unless she did in the literal sense, like.
Not true
My mate's brother is a nutter and recently posted the inspired:
"John got banned from the supermarket again - SOMMERFIELD IS RUN BY BATTYMEN!"
why did he get
banned?
Did he spurn one of the 'battymen's' advances?
actualol
Some
of those posted above aren't banal. Does everyone know what banal means?
it can mean
pertaining to a lord or ruler (banat) in Hungary, Croatia, and thereabouts.
But that wasn't really what I was after.
I figured
that much. I don't understand how "Jane has never played in BMX Bandits although her hamster did once bite an ex-member of Teenage Fanclub" is banal.
this is my favourite of my friends:
John not enough beer and not enough tv makes Saunders go something..something - go crazy - don't mind if I do...argggghhhh.
why
are people friends with such numpties?
don't know but I just saw this
Jane is cutting down her friends list – sorry if you don’t make the cut :P
I might do the same
You should
have that as your Facebook status:
"Klaire wonders why she's Facebook friends with such fucking numpties."
i'm not!
none of my friends are numpties.
Except
bamos.
irritant friend
Jane- "is fed up of fake, conceited people."
I know this is a reaction to not being added on face book after going through my whole list of friends and not getting all of them, vampire-woman.
Genuine banality here
Jane enjoyed her meal out with Amanda
Jane is waiting to hear that Miles has arrived in Ohio safely.
John is meh
My friends are dull.
Loving this one.
John is sick of people whom lie to him and hurt him. 44m ago
What a pussy.
AHAHAHAHAHAH
He needs to grow a sack, and some stones to put in it.
i cannot understand
people who air their discrepancies when it ought to be fairly light hearted, don't they know that it is their friends not foes/strangers that are at the tail end of their scathing comments?
Yeah it's like putting 'Dave is crapping white hot needles into a plant pot'
for the benefit of that bloke from school who you haven't seen for 10 years.
why do they think anyone cares?
jane is going to watch There Will Be Blood.
jane is looking forward to wearing her miami vice jacket
jane has an eating disorder its called 'cant stop.'
Jane is going to finland tomoro!
Jane is leaving tomorrow!
Jane part en voyage demain.
Jane can not wait to leave this stupid country tomorrow!
Jane is off on holiday tomorrow!
John is going to Denmark!
John is on his way to denmark, the land of the danes, the vikings once ruled.. where the beer is good and the girls are blond... and full of fat german tourists ;).
Jane is sad about leaving tomorrow, but has something to look forward to <3
Jane is going to Turkey for two weeks with John! xxx
Jane is in Brussels until tomorrow! THEN HOLIDAY.
John is going to Maastricht tomorrow!
John is going to Hanovre.
Jane is off to Ireland for two weeks.
Jane is in Slovenia.
John is in the US!!!
John est parti du 9 juillet ------> 10 aout.
John is in France.
John is going to France for three weeks.
Jane is in the south of france for three weeks with terrible internet.
Jane is FOREIGN COUNTRY YEAHHHHH!
TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GOING ON HOLIDAY TOMORROW.
hai
Jane has to stop sleeping the afternoons away.
John is ON HOLIDAY!
Jane is still hurting after the hedge
incident.
and my personal favourite...
Jane has a magical forest in her Marquee.
which as we all know is better than a marquee in her magical forest
...
John is still fapping. 33 minutes ago
It's threads like this
that make me so glad i'm not 'on' facebook.