Jane became a fan of lee evans.

John Pwnz you.

is well i dont know really!! taz is taz today i think lol... im now nursin my wifes bleedin hole!! too many tools in one session!! xxxx.

Fiona Knight fancies that everyone within a five-mile radius is down with Scott Walker.

Lorcan Freeman
Saw mamma mia the other day,dont want to ruin it for you, but its shit.

_____ is Im Me, Im Me, So WHO YOU? Fuck you!

xxx is trying hard not to be judgemental, but people aren't doing themselves any favours.

xxx is in Vienna until the 20th - prayers appreciated!

'Dave M*****h is with Tony and George in spain having a wicked laugh!'

Nobody in the history of mankind has EVER had a 'wicked laugh' with a couple of guys called Tony and George.

'Tom M****r is running out of space in his passport.'

xxx is on a health and safety course. Can I get a woop woop?!

xxx is fucking for virginity

xxx is thinking alot...that it hurts!!!

xxx wants to jump right out of the ringside, wants to jump right out of yr life, ah-ah.

xxx hates the British dental system.

xxx is SWAY (so hypnotic).
xxx and Kit Kats at midnight...

xxx is nu-jazz.

xxx Gozilla's gonna fucking KILL you.

xxx has turned back the hands of time...
xxx says: "Is 17 that young?"

it really is tho.

Connor Lavin isn't feelin to good! 43m ago
James Morrish is not well. 1h ago

MTFU guys

"Jane is amazed at how many photos she took in Turkey- nearly 900!"

Please, please, make sure I see them all. Please.

xxx is tres tired

xxx thinks tht(sic) guy is really wierd. lol!

xxx is wondering wat to do with his life?

xxx is ready for bed

xxx is good after a nice run

xxx is happy Tiffany has joined facebook.

My friends know how to live life to the full.

i can safely say that i'm not going to participate, mainly because i don't hardly use the fecking thing. most people i have as friends on there i don't even like very much but i doubt they'd sound quite as stupid as the people in this thread, why do you lot have such shit friends? do you like any of these people?

XXXXX XXXXXXXXX has had the most amazing time in Fiji and is now off to Hawaii!!! Whoo hoo.

is back entertaining clients now that Bertha is on her merry way.

Interesting!

iz thinkin that if sum1 haz a problem wiv ur past then they shuldnt b in ur future

xxx is very sad that the mice in the garden have ruined her vegetable patch.

'XXX is thinking kebab. Mixed. With lashings of chilli sauce. Roll on this evening and a few beers!'

Cor, night out with the lads or WOT?

'XXX is 57% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 29% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.'

XXX also needs to learn about fairly basic maths...

'XXX is growing a big bushy beard!! WHA WAH WAH!!'

My reaction exactly.

'XXX now looks tanned...which would be cool...if she liked looking tanned...'

Yeah, cheers for that. Some of us are pasty-face cunts who couldn't get a tan if we spent a dirty weekend in a microwave.

'XXX is trying to convince Matt to let her have a pet rabbit.'

If Matt was XXX's parent or guardian, then I might understand. XXX is actually a woman in her 20's.

'XXX is enjoying her Buffy marathon weekend....and also ? for her new hair.'

(No comment needed).

'XXX's love for Interpol is intense today.'

XXX should check out the National, they're like the american Editors or something!

Alice Ross can see a glimpse of the future when she orgasms. Everything seems like good news.

xxx says do me a favour

xxx has got dads pants in the middle of his roll

xxx needs that new bike...lile NOW!!

Stephanie is ? MISS POUT ?... Gran canaria 2MORROW!!!!! FEELING GLAMOROUS.

is wandering aimlessly round his flat in his pants listening to Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain.

Jessica Sxxxxxxx learned if you grab a piece of pie you'll be given sex ... all night.

Jess Mxxxxxx just had 1/4 a cup of blood come out of her right nostril.

meh...TMI!

is out getin a killing spree n some beatdowns.

Although an unusal number of people seem to be in Paris.

"**** is fucking angry at this "summer soul" idea... who the fuck do they think they are to preach to innocent children?... wankers..."

He hates Christians more than the next guy.

John has just smashed the door with his head! 3 stitches needed

Jane should have been an extra on Mama mia!

oh lord...

Suffice to say noone has anything tremendously funny to say on their updates. Daniella has lost her cat, though. Which made me giggle, as cats are rubbish.

A Twat "can't believe she saw the 'hot ness monster' again.."

xxx says PUT A BONK ON IT!!

Schoolboy error...

"XXXXX XXXXXXXXX has arrived in Hawaii loves it but is very confused about the fact that i am now 11 hrs behind the Uk rather than in front!!"

so confused that half the sentence is in the third person and half the sentence is in the first person. also, please shut up about your round-the-world trip.

no its not ok you are a 17 stone bohemouth

xxxx xxxxxx is hanging out with Kate Nash and her MASSIVE FACE.

(NB, I don't know this person, but she's doing the same degree as me next year...)

XXX is loving the fact she managed to convince her brother to buy her thrush cream for her!!!