A month ago on the way to a DiS meetup [late..yes, it's that crucial factor... they never pop up at any other time] I was cornered by such a person. He cheerily informed me that he was a "Company Representative" of Virgin Energy, and would I like free music vouchers. I gave him a doubtful look and edged away from him but no! He was not to be waylaid in his task. He informed me that by adding my name to the form on his clipboard I would receive free music vouchers or air miles or some such gubbins. Seeing a big old Virgin Energy logo on the form I told him I didn't want to join Virgin Energy and he assured me that I wasn't signing up for that, only their special offer with the free shit. Not caring about said free shit either way, and just really really wanting to get away, I cast my eye quickly over the small print, didn't see anything incriminating, whacked my name and address down on the form and ran away.
Today my "contract confirmation" arrived in the post. With a Direct Debit form for paying my new gas bill. Oh shit.
And yesterday I got harassed by a monk who informed me that sex was bad, mmkay, and I could free myself from the cycle of life and death and improve my karma by becoming celibate like him. And of course I was free to make a donation, in exchange for some lovely scented oil.
Fuck off!!! I don't want your scented oil, I don't want a new gas supplier, or a £40 makeover for which you require me to give out my personal and financial details to a stranger on the street with doubtful credentials - I don't even want the free shit!! Just..piss off!!! I don't want to find out about an exciting new way of finding God, I don't want a credit card, and most of all, I really really don't want to stand on the street like a lemon with passers-by giving me sympathetic looks, such as you would give to a fly caught in the web of a particularly grotesque spider. And I don't want to ring up Virgin Energy and try to explain to them how their evil Company Representative, by way of cunning and deceptive practices, duped me into signing my name to a random form in the middle of the street, and that no, I actually don't want to start receiving bills from them as of the 14th of July... gulp.
The Company Representative - run awaaaay!
i) saying i am only 13 (a blatant lie, but it can be amusing to see the look of confusion on their face)
ii) speaking spanish (no habla ingles) - hopefully they dont speak spanish too so you can get out of the conversation really quickly by pretending to be a tourist
or iii)if its a bloke i sometimes shout 'why can't you men leave me alone' then i pretend to run off in tears tears, leaving him feeling very uncomfortable and guilty about making a girl cry. oh, and its very confusing
Re: The Company Representative - run awaaaay!
Myself, where I work the streets are stalked by the evil charity muggers, or "chuggers" (copyright - Metro) - who try and get you to sign direct debits to help every cause you can think of. I plead poverty or just say rush by grinning and mumbling to myself.
Re: The Company Representative - run awaaaay!
there is this one mad preacher in our high street who i pretended that i could not speak english to. i swear he is taking spanish lessons just so he can get through to me.
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julia
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