forgot the art - next time.

oooh arrgghh...i love the fact that the decision i am most worried about at the moment is whether or not to download the leaked broken social scene album. it presents a personal climate that i am happy with. for one reason or another, i had to go into yarmouth at half 3 in the morning last night and take some drunk people home, all of whom had some kind of relationship problem that i really didn't give a fuck about, and still don't. these people had problems that no one should give a fuck about - little teenage relationship problems that may mean something now, but will ultimately mean nothing in the long term. even if you're still with that person in 20 years, it'll be about that time, and not about something that happened 20 years ago. it's kind of like reading a book; you started reading it 3 weeks ago, and you've now finished it, and you don't think about when you started that book - you think about what it was like reading the book, and you might think about the good bits and bad bits in detail (although, what's the point?), but you will ultimately think of it as one event - i have read this book. when i got home, i was no more asleep than i was before i went out, and i started thinking about philosophy and art. i have no idea why, but i think i should write down my current beliefs before i go to uni, even if it's just for me to look at in 3 years time and think 'wow, i was a fucking dickhead back then' or 'i wish i still had that tshirt, that tshirt rocked.' so i did philosophy for a year in AS level, and i really enjoyed it, and while we didn't cover everyone, we covered a wide range of the well known philosophers in some detail, and it basically made a grounding for me to look into other philosophers whom i had grown interested in. what that year in philosophy told me over and over was, among other things, nothing matters. i don't mean this in some gravely pessimistic way, not in some deeply nihilistic way (although, nihilism does have some very attractive parts to it); i mean it in the way that anything you're likely to get upset or worried about doesn't really matter in the long run, and it will be over by tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. and there's no use getting angry about these things. as a really simplistic example, i drop a glass on the floor and it smashes. it seems like a blindingly obvious thing to say, but getting all worked up about it isn't going to fix that glass or get you anywhere; it's just going to raise your blood pressure or some shit like that. i mean, come on, it's a glass. the worst thing that's gonna happen is you're going to step on some of it. i don't know what you can do, maybe buy plastic cups in the future. those nice ones from QD or somewhere with the crude flowers on them; they always make people smile. then you wont have to fuck around making sure you don't break the good china, or whatever happens in middle england. this is just a small example that i'm sure makes perfect sense. but the thing is, this can be applied to nearly every situation. i'm not about to get all little book of calm on you, because that's all bullshit. but hopefully you kind of see what i'm getting at. it's the same reason you should get a shitty car. i really want a 2CV, but my parents don't want me to get one because they can't really go over 50mph and will fold like a piece of foil if anything hits them, and that'll be the end of any life inside it. they kind of have a point there, but there's a couple of brilliantly amazing things about 2CVs: 1. you can fix them with a rock. 2. they catch fire. maybe only thing 1 may seem appealing, but i'm going to show you how they're both appealing. ok, so you're going to nottingham. i don't know why you're going there, let's say you're going to meet some friends who went to uni, you're going to have a litte reunion thing in nottingham, because it's vaguely near where you're all living. they're now 25 or something and have decent cars. they get there, and they meet, and it's all nice, but the conversation is a little stale. 'how was the drive from birmingham?' 'oh yeh it was good thanks, managed to make pretty good time, surprisingly little traffic. you?' 'yeh, skegness was a little busy, but after that it was fine.' 'great.' 'great.' great. you strole in, 30 minutes late, just as everyone is starting to come out of their protective shells, drink a little and start recalling all the good times you had. the party is nice and relaxed, and you've avoided all the mindless bullshit where everyone acts like they didn't run screaming down a road together, with the police chasing them for covering a statue in tinfoil. everyone's getting into the friendly spirit. and you have a story. 'how was the drive up, mike?' 'jesus, it was fucking intense! there we were, shooting down the M1 at 50mph, and i think i smell burning. i say to joe, "do you smell burning?", and before i finish my sentence, i notice his eyes dart towards a specific point just over the dashboard. i take a look, and theres a fucking fire! it's just little, but there's a few big flames, shooting up from our bonnet! fuck, fuck, fuck, we pull onto the hard shoulder and grab something, anything, from the boot - we grab this towel thing, run round the front, and start hitting the flames. then we realise this towel has got oil on it or something, and it goes up! now joe's standing there, on the side of the M1 with big truckers and families on vacation shooting past, jumping up and down on this flaming towel, and i'm rushing round trying to find something to put out these flames that just keep getting bigger, i mean this thing could probably blow at anytime. we've got like, nothing, and i don't want to ruin this tshirt - a band from some backwater american town sent it to me just as a thankyou for buying their album - this tshirt is the milk of human kindness. so anyway, i kick my shoes off and take off my jeans, and i'm hitting these flames on the side of the M1, with my jeans, in my boxer shorts, and the boxers just happen to be the ones with pictures of little dogs on them. we finally get it out, and we just collapse there with laughter. my jeans stink of smoke at the moment, but now they look pretty cool with that burn mark just below the knee. shit, that was some fun. my adrenaline is still going!' by this time, there's 20 people round you, you're the life of the party, and you've been using body movements and hand actions to illustrate all this stuff. that girl you always liked is crying with laughter, and you get talking afterwards, and it turns out she's really into deerhoof too, but didn't know they were touring this autumn - why don't we go, you say. you have a great time. you rock. you rock out, under the red leaves. that's basically it. that's my kind of mindset at the moment. whatever happens, you're probably going to have an amusing anecdote to tell about it someday soon. and if not, at least you'll have those plastic cups with pastel flowers. the ones that always make people smile. they lost their lives in backyards mike*