I was just bored and loking around the internet and I thought I'd check my ex girlfriend's weblog (not in a stalkerish way, we're still friends in a chat online sort of way) and I saw that she got laid last week. I'ce stll not got lucky since we split up (over a year ago) and suddenly I felt all crappy about that (it hadn't bothered me much before)
Should I start listening to Jimmy Eat World, or should I man the fuck up and stop acting like somebody kicked me in the pussy?
go out
get laid. Either by voluntary shagging or the use of some form of drug, easily available online.
be bitter
Be emo
hmm
no. Stop being emo though, go and dance or something!
go out
get hammered
get laid.
consequence free casual sex heals all wounds. That funny feeling afterwards - i think it's called guilt - ignore that.
then put it on your weblog.
I'd go out
and pull someone, it's the reactionary make you feel bad in the long run thing to do but you will feel like you've evened the score in a stupid but lowlevel pleasure way.
Or if you get really desperate Fishponds has an array of lovelies in plentiful supply.
No it doesn't...
you're right
it doesn't. For lovelies read 'nasty women with crusty clunges who will fulfill your every desire for about £7.54'
Apologies
It did seem a scary place. But they also did have a nice record shop.
don't get emo...
get even... kick HER in the pussy
I've changed my mind
She's a slag. Don't go out and get laid. Don't cheapen yourself the way she has. Say no to easy sex kids!
this has been my approach so far
but its not really working out for me.
Come out on Monday with Moribund and me.
yeah ok
pm me
but i'm not having sex with eaither of you
I wanna
come out
Well
You're amongst friends...
do not listen to jimmy but
do listen to very angry music very loud, have a really hot shower (no idea why but it's one of those things people always say works?) go out, get wankered and have fun. But don't go out with the aim of getting laid, because then it'll probably turn out to be a shit night.
would you want to be with someone
Who brags about getting a cock shoved up her. Bah I smell SLAG!
sTRANGELY
I smell spit roast too. Maybe it's sandlewood.
I dumped her!
and no, I don't want to go out with her anymore. thats not waht this is about, its about feeling like I'm the one who's lame, cos she's got laid and I haven't
emo or get over it?
get down pub, try n' pull, fail miserably, pot noodle, wank, repeat.
oh for the bachelors life.....
Hahahah
Best post of the day. "Pot noodle, wank" is comedy gold in three words
Read some Rodney Dangerfield jokes...
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life..."
A hooker told me:
"Not on the first date..."
Classic.
My marriage is on the rocks again...
Yeah - my wife just broke up with her boyfriend...
_
these are good
Is this the start of another Rodney Dangerfield marathon?
Please say it is.
oh yes
please!
go bobby go!
I really hope
he does some of these on stage on Saturday.
My wife left me,
I feel like I just got parole.
Sorry
I don't think I have the skills to pull it off! I'd like to, but I'm no comedian...
Quit with the apologising and get busy with the
Rodney Dangerfield quotes!
I'm not a sexy guy.
I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I could tell that my parents hated me.
My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
That one and the Olive one
are ace.
the bath toys one
rules.
this rodney dangerfield marathon
isn't as good as the last one.
i liked the bath toys one though.
I know.
Maybe we expected too much this time. Bobby seems a little tired.
My advice is
stop using the phrase 'got lucky'.
word
its bumped uglies or ragged or got knobbed!
what other phrase would you suggest?
got laid?
had sex with somebody?
I know 'someone' who describes it as Naked Bed Fun.
which may be accurate but is also annoying.
i like
the no pants dance
but it means you have to say dan-ce instead of Darn-ce which for a ghey southerner like me is hard.
where's the website?
No sex for a year?
I'd have jumped off a bridge 9 months ago.
is that your advice?
cos I'm gonna struggle to sort out a time machine.
You probably didn't have sex for years colin.
If you did, some people probably went to prison.
leave it out
i didn't have sex for 19 years on time.
The longest...
I ever managed without sex was 15 years......
didn't bother me until the last 2 years or so........
anyhow, I reckon you should listen to Children Of Bodom, a blast of 'Triple Corpse Hammerblow' sorts me right out when I feel pissed off.......
Wow
I didn't realise you had to be punctual for it :)
yeah....
obviously spent 19 whole years being late for sex..... !!! haha! :)
Decision
I'm going to continue as before.
I'm at least a half decent looking guy and its mostly just bad luck that I've not had sex in a year.
I regret having become so emo that I posted up my personal problems on an internet message board.
buy a bike
rub the daddy!
why have sex
when you have jean hem lines!
I thought that i'd had sex.
Turned out that Holding Hands doesn't count.
hand job
Ive now got a strange image of small hands in the place of where genitalia should be - shaking hands. Christ Im bored.
Where's the website
thats
the sort of reason i have no contact with any of my exs ... i don't want to know what or who they're doing cos im a real "over-thinker"
its why...
...i can't listen ton Mr. Brightside...
...one of the many many reasons why.
holy shit
yes ... i dont like to admit it but its true ... i can relate to those lyrics far too well :-(
damn you brandon flowers and your strangely accurate capturing of late night paranoia and emo-jealousy !!!
The Killers?
No wonder you were dumped.
SORRY
I retract that statement, I'm having a very bad day. This website has cheered me up immensly. http://www.maggiethatcher.com/
its true aslo
i've soul but i am definately not a soldier.
and Jenny was a good friend of mine... well still is, but in france. WEIRD!!!
Fuck, I just bought Deja Entendu, does this make me emo?
In these situations..
do as my old friend Dave did when we were at uni - get hideously drunk, phone up your ex, and sing Take That - Back For Good down the phone at her.
that is
classic. did he win her back?