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The Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House 100x100
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by Sean Adams
Laid out on your bed, what are you really searching for from a record?
…the answer to those big questions about existence? Read a book.
…or a friend? Phone one.
When your friends come over and you put on a record, what are you in need of?
…to show off how hip you are? Give up.
…or to show off that you can spend your money well on great music?
In the middle of the dance floor, what are you searching for?
What are you missing?
What is lacking in your world?
…guitars? danger? imagination? fun? d.i.s.c.o?

Forget these questions. ‘Welcome to the Monkey House’ is where we are now. Courtney Taylor is now Courtney Taylor-Taylor and he and Nick Rhodes have co-produced the house-party in a box that we’ve been waiting to come along, since.. well.. forever.
WAKE UP AT THE BACK!
The ever-so-slightly arrogant rock-star-in-waiting strut's been replaced with quirky cool (see also: that bad Mohawk!). The rule book's been scribbled in. Pictures of famous people have been suitably defaced with ‘taches and horns. Flesh on flesh, humping to disco beats is happenin', all over the corridor. Primary colours aren’t frowned upon. Robot dancing like a complete idiot is totally called for, especially in the living room. The only thing you learn (and learn it good!) is you shouldn’t over-complicate anything. Keep it simple. Make it soaring and too cool 4 skool (without trying), and the greatest party ever, or at least a hit record will follow. Just free your mind. These rules have been stuck to like sticky thighs and it tastes golden.

Current single ‘We Used to Be Friends’ is the first jab they’ve sent out to explore the masses. It’s the kinda song that hi-jacks the radio (without trying) and found me singing at ridiculously highly doo-ooh-ooh oo-ooh-ooh, aah-aaaaah-aah-ah-ing and uh-uh-ing like Britney – not a pretty idea, but who needs conventional beauty? Not to mention shaking me booty, in the sassy way arses were designed to be shook. I love it when music does that. If it doesn't do that to you, please consult your doctor.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t all party, party, doo, doo, ooh, ooh, wah-oooh (‘The Dandy Warhols Love Almost Everyone’, 'Plan A', 'Hit Rock Bottom'), what rhymes, wha-whoo smarty? Thanks Marty. Oh no.. domino (’I Am A Scientist’). As much as it is feel-good and has parties in the wood with fire-walking, head-swaying, bill’n’ben’n’weed (’The Dope’) and that pop, the record is juxtaposed perfectly with further stonadelica explorations into comedown (LP-closer ’You Come In Burned’) and scruffy converse wanderings in shoe-gazing cyber-space (‘Insincere Because I’).. and best of all, they merge the two sounds, somehow, on the likes of ’Heavenly’ whacking the psychedelics with the anthemics. And yeah, there is a Bowie tripping moment on 'I Am Sound' but it'd be wrong not to have some trickling moomin key sounds somewhere on this record.

The best news of all is that the summer anthem is sat there waiting to hit every bookshop, coffee hole and every disco floor from here to Mars. It’s ‘You Were The Last High’, it’s a breathy love song, with breast-jiggly bits and if my predictions are anything to go by, it’s the first pop song to single-handedly unite the world since Michael Jackson. You don’t believe me and I wouldn’t blame you. Never trust a cynic, it’s the first rule of life. It’s the first thing The Dandys question as they lay down their rug beside the door step, asking why people need the media to believe things are true and slotting in the simplest of lines “When Michael Jackson dies, they’ll cover a black bird”. And with an opening like that, you can lie back and think of Summer. It's gonna be a good one.

Dandys Rule OK! They’re just what you’re looking for. Trust me.

  • The Dandy Warhols 9 / 10
Words: Sean Adams

Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

Yes, it's a fantastic album. But I wouldn't know it from reading this review.

Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

I thought the last warhols single was a big pile of turd to be honest with you.

Re: Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

To be honest with you, why would you lie?

Re: Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

Because some people may feel pressured to supress their true feelings about the new single because of fear of not being considered credible/or/and/ the warhols decent past output. nya

Re: Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

You can't fake this disco orgasms I've been having. Trust me, Ive tried faking 'em to some utter shite (Electric 6, Peaches, etc..) but this is the REAL STUFF.

But hey, you don't have to take my word for it, go get the record, get a room full of slightly drunk people and see just how many people dance. Its science.

Yeah, yuh, I am a scientist, baybee!

Re: Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

I've said it before and I'll say it again: DIS reviewers suck, you come away from their reviews with absolutely no clue of what the record sounds like due to the massive tidal waves of clever-clever irony. Jesus Christ Already.

Re: Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

Bit of a generalisation... with so many writers, none of them given a house style to adhere to, there's a lot of variety on DiS.

And if the review was just a list of tracks with a bit of press release wibble at the start, you'd still bitch.

Dandy Warhols - Welcome To The Monkey House

How much of Nick Rhodes' production on Dandy
Warhols' album was kept on the final cut of the
album, after a falling out over gak?

Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

I've been reading a few reviews on this site recently..

and it strikes me that certain ones, like this one and the Biffy Clyro one waffle on about bullshit and don't really get to the point, leaving readers confused.

BUT

that isn't what bothers me

what bothers me is reviewers fucking lyrics up, quoting them to back up their point when they've got it wrong, undermining the whole point of the endeavour.

examples in recent memory include the nme fucking up some foo fighters lyrics, in order to make some bizarre point about dave grohl being addicted to man-sex, and this review, which states that a line from the first song is

"when Michael Jackson dies, we're covering a black bird"

what the hell was that supposed to mean? really? what point was the reviewer trying to prove?

because the line is actually

"when Michael Jackson dies, we're covering Blackbird", in reference to the Lennon/McCartney composition, which MJ owns the publishing rights to.

so, boys and girls, have i made myself clear?

easy, wasn't it?

Re: Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

Thanks for the personal attack. (annoyed your demo has been stock-piled with 200 others that we get a week? Or just plain angry kid with a colon problem?)

And no, that didnt make any sense.

Re: Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

wasn't meant to be a personal attack on anyone... just some music journalism bothers me...

Re: Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

Both the reviews you pointed out were mine (Warhols and Biffy).

Maybe singers should sing clearer?

Also, you might like to know that promo's of albums come in either a little plastic sleeve with nowt by the tracklisting or in little card cases with just the tracklisting.

i.e. we don't get sent nice boxes with all the lyrics on and sometimes, just sometimes, it's hard to work out what people are singing. especially mr.taylor-taylors drawl.

surely you'd be better off not getting yer knickers in a twist?

Re: Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

just saying that lyrics shouldn't be used to back up points unless you're sure of the lyric

plus freebies are killing music

Re: Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

If you're too damn stupid to understand reviews maybe you should spend less time balancing lego on your knob and more time in class learning to read...

Yes.

That.

Didnt.

Maik.

Sence.

A

Jesus wept.

The fucking arrogance of some 'journos' astounds me. Almost without fail, whenever someone says something negative about them they hit back with 'Pissed off I didn't review your demo/gig/single/arse?' like that is the only reason anyone could POSSIBLY want to attack them.

Sean - I got 'Welcome To The Monkey House' to review and had absolutely NO PROBLEMS understanding the lyrics. Even if you have got bunged up ears then the context of the line must have given you a clue as to what the correct words were? Or were you unaware of Jackson owning the publishing rights to the Beatles catalogue? Even then, the previous line about Elastica getting sued by Wire for plagarism should have made you think 'Hmmm, perhaps this Black Bird that is mentioned is in reference to a song by some band or other - some band linked to Michael Jackson in some way'

But no, you take a valid point about the inability of a lot of 'journalists' (does writing for a webzine really count?) and turn it into an excuse to belittle the poster.

As for the NME - yes, the writing is fucking shocking these days.....but certain people at DiS can give those goons a run for their money in the wordwank stakes.

Re: Dandy Warhols - reviewers can be fucking idiots

THE misquoted lyric is much better than the real one... but oyu're right - NME is an outdated piece of shit full of oxbridge graduates doing heaps of charlie and trying to remember the gigs they pretended to go to...or so I would imagine. What else could account for such bad copy? Maybe they're just really, really stoopid...




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