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shakira

Look at her breasts they're... um... massive, actually

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by Mike Diver
Artists: Shakira

Columbian songstress and certified not-all-there type Shakira is to have a likeness of herself erected in her hometown of Barranquilla.

At sixteen-foot tall, the statue, which is to be made of steel, is unlikely to be confused with any nearby mountains. The singer said the following to Contact Music:

"I want people to think that any girl can start working on her dreams and that they will come true."

Next week, Chico is to have a likeness of his face placed atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Made of marzipan, the yellow monstrosity will gradually disintegrate under the Italian sun, showering passing tourists in sweet, sweet goodness. Probably. DiS has also recived word that Legoland Windsor is to craft Orson figures from Duplo bricks, in honour of their current number one single.

Lies, all lies. Apart from the Shakira thing.


That headline

misled me. Or the picture didn't justify it. Or something. I might shut up now.


Just how friendly with children are you?

Well?

Mmmm, jumper bunnies...


Friendly enough to know that if you tickle their bellies

you can dress them up in toy clothes and take pictures...

...no, wait. That's geckos.


That story

made me smile on the train this morning. What's better than a gecko? A GECKO IN A CARDIGAN, obviously.


too right

and the one with its own speedboat: playboy.


Where's the

FUCKING TITS AT? I WANT TITS!


the new massive attack?

what, the 'collected' best of?
is okay.


Can you clarify that Mike?

Just re-read the story.

She's having the statue erected of herself?

When I assumed her hometown was doing it for her it kind of made sense as she's huge (well, sixteen foot apparently!) in Colombia.

But having a statue made of yourself?

That's a bit sad isn't it?


boobs?


Um

Isn't the line 'Lucky that my breasts are small and humble', rather than 'Look at my breasts...'?

Not that I watched that video over and over again or anything.