Just look at that bill. No, no – LOOK AT IT! How awesome is this line-up?? This gig was originally going to be at Birmingham’s tiny Flapper & Firkin pub but I think when you have bands as loud and decimating as Charger, Labrat, Mistress, Pale Horse and The Muder Of Rosa Luxemburg on your hands a much sturdier building needs to be found.

Tonight is the first Unholy Communion, what appears to be a series of all-dayers from Brummie collective The Communion, and what a bill for the opening night!! Unfortunately I arrive just after Aconite Thrill had finished their set but in time to have my senses well and truly rogered by The Murder of Rosa Luxemburg’s mind-bending spazz-rock fusion of Since By Man craziness and psychotic heavy complexities. While both their vocalists writhe and grapple with themselves (not each other) on the floor, rugby tackling crowd members, you are left absolutely spell-bounded at the unique creativity contained within this band. They have a full length album released via Undergroove in the Autumn but in the meantime you must see them on their tour with Army of Flying Robots in August. That’s an order you know.

Unfortunately, locals Occupational Hazard – a previous Metal Hammer buzz-band (something you really shouldn’t be proud of) – are a bit of a let down. Fresh-faced, with an Orgy-like image they stick out like a sore thumb on today’s billing but still played for over an hour as the afternoon’s headliners. Not that anyone noticed of course, with much of the crowd choosing to chill out in the rock club downstairs (yes, that’s right – a rock club at 5 in the afternoon)!

After a two-hour wait Pale Horse take to the stage to open up the evening portion of entertainment. Fronted by a guy that kinda looks inbetween Ed Gein and Serj Tankian they play the kind of immense stoner metal that has you rooted to the spot soaking up their rippling grooves. Awesome.

Mistress however are a much more frightening prospect and tonight they take no prisoners, barging their way through some fearsome Iron Monkey-isms and unrelenting dirgy distortion that, if turned up any louder, had every chance of dislodging last night’s Rogan Josh with particularly unpleasant consequences.

Which prepares you nicely for Labrat’s noisy racket. Having replaced their two vocalists with original screamer Rob – which probably doesn’t make much difference as they don’t seem to have written any new songs for the 4 years since his departure – their rabid death-tinged metal is streamlined considerably as Rob prowls the stage barking out Labrat songs how they used to sound. Which is, incidentally, heavy as hell!

It seems a difficult set to follow then, but when you have Charger headlining you know things are gonna get notched up as intensely as possible. Having been sipping on Scrumpy all day the whole band (yes, including ex-SxE bassist Tom) are psyched up ready for those deep, pummelling grooves and screeching vocals that send a shiver down your spine every time they collide each ear-splintering riff. I only manage to catch a handful of songs, but then for some even that may be enough, so uncompromisingly monstrous the Charger beast can be.

It’s gigs like this that slap a huge smile on my face, that these bands are willing to travel half way across the country to play a gig that’ll barely cover their petrol costs, but for a half an hour at a time, will be bombarded by music so incredibly intense that anything else in life seems so utterly redundant. Marvellous.