Loads of novelty songs, obviously, but in terms of attempting to be 'proper' songs -
Elevation - U2
That 'ionide in the sky you make me feel like i can fly so high' bit just makes me angry. its so wrong. along with all the other attempted rhyming in that song.

i've heard numerous amounts of people whinge about the fact that the situations described in Ironic by Alanis Morrisette aren't actually ironic. can't say it really bothers me, so this is kinda void. ok i'll come back with a real point later...

That Desree song 'Life', obviously. Stuff about eating toast and seeing ghosts in the park when it's dark. A foetus could write better lyrics than that.

Busted, Year 3000: "Boybands, and another one, and another one... and another one"

The words "Pot", "Kettle" and "Black" resound in my head. I wonder why?

She's Electric by Oasis:

"She's got a cousin, in fact she's got about a dozen, she's even got one in the oven, but it's got nothing to do with me".

This immediately needs detailed semantic analysis.

If Noel is being figurative here ( if so isn't that clever? His mummy must be very proud. Give the boy a gold star and a nice big tick) he then must mean that the 'she' in the song title is pregnant with her own cousin, which means some sort of incest/inbreeding (or less cynically, surrogacy) must have taken place, which definitely makes her family "eccentric" as he had previously stated.

However, if it's 'got nothing to do with him' that must mean he is not the baby's father. To be the baby's father, he also would have to be related to the object of his desire ( he'd be her uncle or cousin) and that would make 'She's Electric' an ode to Incest/Inbreeding. Therefore it should have been on the soundtrack to a film like 'Deliverance' or 'Spanking the Monkey' -or some freaky porn shit from South East Asia, which it wasn't (to my knowledge).

If he isn't her cousin how could he possibly be the father? If the baby is her son/daughter and her cousin at the same time, then that means she has either been diddled by her uncle [or a male cousin] or is benevolently acting as a surrogate for her Auntie and Uncle, who for whatever reason cannot have their own kids ( in this case, whilst being totally illegal in most Western countries, the act must be given full respect for it's charitable nature).

Alternatively, if he's talking literally and the 'She' in the song really has a cousin inside an oven (at 200 degrees centigrade, basted and topped with bacon) a la the witch in Hansel and Gretel, he really needs therapy for falling for such a sick fuck.

I once fell in love with a girl who put cats in blenders- that was bad enough- but to fall for a lass who puts her own cousin in the oven, well that's a whole different gravy (would you use chicken stock or bovril/oxo when cooking your cousin? Discuss).

If the said 'cooked cousin' 'has nothing to with him', as in he is washing his hands of any such incident, then that means he has turned a blind eye to murder (and possibly cannibalism) which is most heinous.

Shame on you Noel G! To redeem yourself you should pass her number on to Hannibal Lector, they'd make a great couple...

Busted - Year 3000
no contest

that Castles in The Sky song..you know that dancey trance chart thing from the other year's summer....oh yeah by a lass called Ian Van Dahl.

god when she sings " Do u ever wonder why? Do we build castles in the sky?" it really makes me wish the earth had never been able to sustain human life.

A bad lyric is not solely bad for it's actual words but also for it's delivery. When Van dahl sings that poetic piece of philosophy as if she's the ibizan Dalai Lama, it feels like it's going to last forever, because the music kind of cuts back so you can hear it (urgh) better (!) and then she repeats it over and over...and oh god...it has haunted me. it is that awful. Worst song ever.

Also i love it when Bono sings "Like a MOLE/ Digging in a HOLE" on elevation. i love that but its awful. obviously.

There's a Turin Brakes song that contains the line "Cycle on your bicycle".
This makes me want to hurt people. Hurt them bad.

"two peas in a bucket / mother mother f*** it"

not one of Flava Flav's best.

i wonder if anybody will mention the Doors?

see also 'Bad' by Michael Jackson:

"You know i'm bad / You know / Really really bad / I'm bad" etc.

hmm, right.....

"said the condor to the praying mantis
we're gonna lose this place just like we lost Atlantis"

From Neil Young's Trans album which will one day be revered as the oddball classic that it is and not ridiculed. Perhaps.

A particular favourite of mine:

'I'm as serious as cancer, when I say that rhythm is a dancer'

Another that particularly annoys me, is Avril Latrine's

'He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?' ... Avril, you've made very little obvious there aside from gender - what exactly are we meant to read into this... the whole song makes me angry, must be so hard being 15 with everyone labelling you as in this gang or that... how is one to find true love?? Grrr!

The worst ever has to be Nothing by A - "nothing's what you got when you ain't got something" - we've got a genius here I think!

You hear some really horrific ones if you listen to Radio 1, but they're so bad I can't even remember them right now.

It's pretty obvious that people aren't really complaining about the lyrics here, most of the songs themselves are bollocks, but a genuinely shit song, complete with awful lyrics has to be the cheeky girls - cheeky song...anyone agree?

I don't know about the worst, but The Mars Volta and ATDI must be the strangest. I'm sure half the words in the lyrics are made up.

What about 'Sugar Dumpling' by Sam Cooke?

whenever I tell her 'honey I'm hungry
now go and fix me something to eat'
the girl rushes in the kitchen
and fixes me a dinner
with seven different kinds of meat

Genius or twat? You decide

Babylon Zoo- "Spaceman-I always wanted you to go into space. man"
Nice addition of 'man' on the end there, most inventive. And I like how a man from space(implied but the name 'Spaceman') would be wanted to go into space. Surely he's already there?

Norah Jones-"Out across the endless sea, I would die in ecstasy. But I'll be a bag of bones driving down the road alone."
Is it just me or does none of that follow? One minute she's contemplating the size of the sea and possibly drowning herself while on an ecstasy trip, and then she admits to having an eating disorder and going for a drive. What a moron.

Busted-Every single word that falls out of their disgusting mouths. I am shocked, no appaulled that they have done so 'well'.

Jelutong(surrey band now Without Grace)-"Glitter Sachets won't save you, but they'll make you sparkle around"
Talk about pointing the obvious. It's fricking glitter what do you expect?

Medium 21 - It's just the suicide of life in slow

Reminds me of the thread re: tautology earlier. I thought suicide was defined as the taking of life. So translated they are saying the taking of life of life. Retards. And I actually like this band, but then there seem to be very few bands with decent lyricists.

Mancis - refugess, just like you and just like me.

Profound, is all I can say. That, and thought-provoking.

i get really pissed off with The Clash when they rhyme 'clash city rocker' with 'electrical shocker'.

Absolutely inexcusable. And don't get me started on the music ....

i think suede deserve a mention.

'she lives in a house/she's stupid as a mouse'

'he said he had a horrible house/I looked in and learned to shut my mouth'

pretty much the whole of 'she's in fashion'

'Oh, jumble sale mums, what are they on?/Kids just sit hanging round the street/And they've got somebody else's clothes on/Jumble sale dads, boil in the bag/
Says some things that I can't repeat, and he swears...'

i could go on...

they've done some great lyrics too though.

the killers - cant remeber the song name

ive got soul but im not a soldier

what the fuck?

Agree with Snap's 'Rhythm is a dancer' rhymed with 'serious as cancer' actually even the title is bad, mind you English is not their first tongue, so maybe they can be excused.

I think Duran Duran's line 'you're as easy as a nuclear war' offends my sensibilities so much it must win.

There are countless songs who seem to go into a list of lines ending in words with 'ation' at the end.....this is reprehensible, I cannot imagine that they have not noticed it in other songs, the lyric writers are either insulting us or braindead. Rappers seem to particularly like 'ations'

Placebo and New Order are both capable of dreadful lyrics (and they both managed to use 'my pleasure zone' in their songs)
but they are also occasionally capable of great lyrics (I'm thinking of 'every me and every you' , in case ypou were wondering).

your mothers got a penis has pretty explicit vulgar lyrics but then again it is pretty funny,glc are hilarious

I really like Echo and the bunnymen,
but

"severn seas
swimming so well
glad to see
my face amongst them
kissing the tortoise shell"

and what about their
cccccucumber ccccabbage cccccarrot cccauliflower cccchicory cccccelery kkkkkohlrobi cccccceleriac

"too shy shy
hush hush eye to eye
too shy shy
hush hush
eye to eye" - kajagoogoo