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grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

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by thommo
" yourbandnameis:pretentious "

well i thought it was funny.
thommo | 19 Mar '04, 00:44 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

oooooooooh this could run and run. there was a great thread about it on b3ta.com.... i think the which made me laugh most was, sadly, the grafitti in the middle of nowhere in scotland which just said "jobbies".

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

My personal fave I saw in Birmingham (of all places!!) someone had written "I fucked your mum!"
Someone else had written underneath:
"Go home Dad, you're drunk!"

spxx

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

There's tons of the stuff in the Bull & Gate toilets, the best one is written on the roof directly above the loo and reads simply:

You've just pissed on your shoes

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I read 'Are small flys ashamed?' on the dryer in the Buffalo Bar the other night.

There was a picture of a small fly too.

Yet, the toilets with the most small flies are obviously the ones at the Underworld - crawling with the bastards they are.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Whoever wrote "I hate Germans and Mancs" in The Jacaranda, Liverpool, is a class-A dickhead...

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

at the 'north six' venue in brooklyn, nyc, i read on a toilet wall - "my penis has potential". Which made me chuckle.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

"War is a Crime"
"So Is Graffiti""

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

"The Beer here is shit"
"your drinking from the urinal"

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I can't remember where this was (it may even be down the Union, i just can't remeber) But someone was whinging about the price of Oasis drinks - and then underneath some knowledgeable (and clearly friendless) individual had put a complete breakdown of the prices

On a similar note, if you ever get to go into the Bands area of the Joiners (or the old wine cellar as the land lord calls it)- it's covered with years of graffiti from absolutely tonnes of bands (Mogwai, Coopers, Hundred Reasons, and if memory serves me Radiohead, but i could be wrong) -it's sometimes more interesting than the bands

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

there used to be a poster in the dublin castle "toilets" that was part of a Virgin campaign. Over the porcelain top of the toilet it had a huge picture of a freshly rolled joint, and the line "The Devil makes work for idle thumbs".

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

yeah, i've been in there too... in fact i scribbled something on the ceiling when i went in to meet Miss Black America.

there's a big list of bands with numbers in their names isn't there? i doubt it's coincidence as don't remember 5 Star or S Club 7 playing the Joiners...

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

there's an ace bit of grafitti on a bridge in the middle of absolutely nowhere near Caersws in mid Wales, about ten miles from any village and only accessible from a glorified cow track, that reads "DEATH TO SADDAM HUSSEIN".
I bet he was fuckin quaking in his books eh

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

on the motorway (sorry im not a driver so i forget particular name or area etc) from oxford to london there's this great field with a long fence running it's breadth with the words "why do i do this everday?" facing all the commuters. which is nice.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

iv seen that, i hate it when people write peoples names and then write call for good time, i also hate it when people type rasist comments if any of you do that you are a cunt

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

a mate of mine wrote a song about that piece.

Similarly

there's one on the side of an old farm building in the middle of a field that you cross on the train line between Southampton and London Victoria. It's a penguin holding a balloon saying "where are we going?" Quite heartbreaking really.


Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

talking of bridges, under one on the Isle of Wight, where I come from: "Repent all crap hats for the next king is airborne".
My other favourite was "I love Ben Hunter, from a gay"

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

i went down there with a marker a few months back.

no fuckinh space to ad anything.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I once wrote on the condom machine 'do not eat this chewing gum, it tastes of rubber', not the most mature thing to do I know. I also saw above one of the urinals, 'why are you looking up here, are you ashamed of it?'

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

there's a bit of graffiti on a wall in stoke newington that says 'oi you, yes you, fuck off, you cunt'. it makes me laugh, but i don't know why. ahh, situationism!

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Not exactly a venue bog but there's a gents in a pub near Smithfields meat market where someone has written incredibly neatly in black marker and some 8 foot off the ground almost obscured by a water pipe... the word MINGE. The rest of the walls are completely free of any grafitti.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

On ladies toilet door:

"Instructions: Sit down and wee. Shake to dry."

Why do venues not think it is necessary to provide toilet paper? It's a valid point I think.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Can't remember where it was, but 'Keep death off the roads, drive on the pavement' was pretty good.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Written on a toilet door in The Krazyhouse, Liverpool: "Die Ron Weasley, nobody likes you". Randomness.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

ron was a knob though.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

not a zippy one liner but EVERY time I have got myself 'back stage' at any indie gig the dressing room walls are without exception completely covered in badly drawn penis's ejaculating. This appears to be some kind of rule.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

with spunk drops and that.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

i always thought thats what ejaculating meant.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

on a bus stop one the way to norwich, someone has added 'h!' to the end of bus.
so it reads 'bush! stop'

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

bit of grafitti driving the other day was two boys only teens in the middle of spraying grafitti nothing fancy just letters on the side of a bridge in white, RIP ADA- and they were still writing the rest, not a funny piece just different

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

On a girl's bathroom mirror, written in bright red... well, paint i'm guessing, or it would've washed off: DONT BLIND ANYONE WITH YOUR BEAUTY.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Nice little verse I saw once:

Here I sit staining the throne, trying to give birth to a fucking sloane.

Defecation as class war anyone?

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Ok, this is the best I saw - on the wall of a toilet in a cafe in Amsterdam:

Some come here to sit and think
Some come here to sit and stink
I come here to scratch my balls
And write these poems upon these walls

Quality.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Oh, just remembered another one (they're gonna keep on coming back to me):

Remember, more than 3 shakes is a wank!

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Celtic under 5's kick to kill

My own 15 minutes of fame were acheived when a piece of graffiti I'd done was photographed and printed in the diary section of the Glasgow Herald.
I was living in the worst,rundown area in Britain at the time.I'd sprayed 'Oatlands needs pakora' on the shutters of the closed down chipshop.
Imagine my surprise and delight,when googling it,I found a later article in same paper,with a street theatre named after it,and one of the local chev/ned cretins being named and explaining his reasons for spraying it.He probably got the Turner for it :-)
On contacting the paper,they refused to rectify this.I am now alone with my memories.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

theres a road around where I live called bullocks rd...someone thought it might be clever to make the U into an O...ashamedly i found it quite funny

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

if you've ever gone into Bristol on the A420, you'll have passed numerous signs for Fucklechurch.

It's really called Pucklechurch.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I hate that place, i've been informed of its existence but no-one i know has ever found it. Possible Atlantis connection?

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

at glasto 2003"

'CAR THEIVES OPPERATING IN THIS AREA' was changed to 'SCARF THEIVES OPPERATING IN THIS AREA'
by adding an 'S' and an 'F'

it made me laugh any way

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

OK it's not on a bog wall but there's a sign on the street opposite the Windmill which orginally read "Luxury Developments Leased To CLIENTS"
someone deleted the E in clients and joined up the L and the I; it
now reads LEASED TO CUNTS

Oh and as for toilets the 12th & Porter's women's loos had some interesting graf about Ryan Adam and a cashew nut

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Yeah.
Ennis Road near me has been changed to Pennis Road.
Which is a bit like penis.
Haha.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

"Huntign Works" in Penygraig South Wales.

"Spelling Is Murder", same place, when I get around to it.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Its probably a good thing that you've never found pucklechurch. There isnt one thing remotely interesting about it.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

the best i have seen is on the hand dryer machine thing it said air streamer but someone changed it to pubic hair stream...no thats not really that funny come to think of it

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

in one of the cubicles in the highbury garage someone had written "joy division were here (actually it was just down the road at the hope and anchor)". i thought that was pretty funny.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I hazard a guess that most of you will have noticed a sticker on the train saying 'please give up your seat for an elderly or pregnant person'.

Changed to: 'Please eat an elderly or pregnant person'.

Made ME laugh anyway.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

"Free Pakistan"
"Can i have one?!"

you've gotta love the student union toilets for a bit of weak political banter.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I hope you *did* get round to it Marcus. Very witty.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

there's a bit of grafitti in the bottom of the toilet door at school that goes:

"if you can read this, you are shitting at 45 degrees".

well *i* found it funny.

alex
xxxx

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

In the toilets in Dublin pub "I'm a schizophrenic."
directly underneath it:
"So am I."

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

In the Vic Inn, Derby there's one above the urinal that reads: "look down, does this really please the missus"

The best one i've seen in derby uni toilets is "BOLLOX" written in huge letters, simple and effective.

I also like "pull here for Derby County FC season ticket" on the toilet roll dispenser.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

on the school bus theres a sign on the back of the seats that says 'do not smoke'. one ingenious individual changed the 'n' in 'not' to a 'p'...so it read 'do pot smoke'. hilarious.

also, in the senior girls toilets at school there is a quote by jeff buckley next to a picture (a very good picture i must say) of tigger.

and in one of the chemistry rooms at school the phrase 'argon is gay' is written on the desk. that is by far the most amusing thing i have seen in my life.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

on the school bus theres a sign on the back of the seats that says 'do not smoke'. one ingenious individual changed the 'n' in 'not' to a 'p'...so it read 'do pot smoke'. hilarious.

also, in the senior girls toilets at school there is a quote by jeff buckley next to a picture (a very good picture i must say) of tigger.

and in one of the chemistry rooms at school the phrase 'argon is gay' is written on the desk. that is by far the most amusing thing i have seen in my life.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

On a similar note:

A sticker on a bus window which said "the company will press for heaviest penalties against offenders" had been changed to "the man will press his penis against offenders"

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

My student union toilets are devoid of graffiti except for one bit saying "Why no graffiti??"
and underneath - "Other artistic outlets take precedence"

Too clever by half imo

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

'Pipe smoking rules'
with a comment below it...
'No fucking shit!'

Made me laugh.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Some Manics fans at Reading 2001 had sprayed 'A mess of eyeliner and spraypaint' onto the side of a block of toilets. Someone added underneath 'and an excessive amount of Ginsters wrappers'.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

In Aberdeen, some genius scrubbed out the C and S in "Canal Street" to get "Anal Treet".

And there's a random "BOLLOX TO THE MONARCHY" written on a random wall. Hmmm....random.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

in a bridge near me we have:
"the one legged pigeons are plotting our demise"
"savage is a rent boy"
and, surprisingly:
"fuck politics"
and
"everything destroy's itself."
x


Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

in newport, along a road, which runs underneath a bridge, someone has written your mothers gotta penis

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

in a shithole in pompey -

"pop will eat itself"

"how will he eat his own mouth then?"

"and what happens when he eats his stomach?"

"i dont know"

not particularly funny, just brilliant that pissed people whilst taking a slash have thought so hard about it....

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

"Manufactured Pop Music- Get Cunted" written in the Globe in Sheffield.

Whoever wrote it obviously hasn't heard Girls Aloud's new single yet...

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

on a condom machine

"insert money and twist nob

not yours"

that was official it wasnt grafiti, but made me laugh

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

'kurt cobain is a sad, dead bastard' tippexed on the wall that runs underneath the railway overpass next to the burtons biscuit factory and the old abatoir in blackpool.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Whoever brought this thread back is great in my book.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

i remember reading this thread back in april. and its equally as funny now...shame all my experiences are no where near good enough to be up here..

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I am only writing on the walls as I have no paper, you might laugh but what you gonna wipe your arse on!!!!


Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

After seeing numerous ones in various places saying 'End the occupation of Iraq' I saw one along a fence in Holloway last week which just said 'End The OC'

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I remember Bruce Morton doing a stand up about a bus shelter that had the graffiti

Led Zeppelin
Black Sabbath
Queen (early stuff)

still makes me laugh

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I had to think about this when I first read it as I was slightly tipsy

Veni. Vidi. Vivi.

Vidi. Vici. Veni.

Vici. Veni. VD

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

When I was in Austin, Texas I visited this bar called Hole in The Wall, there was some graffiti in the toilet there that commemorated Courtney Love fucking her herself up on coke in there during one SXSW.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

i have no graffiti moments to add myself, but just wanted to thank thommo for such an amusing thread. and i hate the 'ring this number for fun' buisness.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

my pleasure, matinee. Thanks for your thanks.

i'll have to add some from our school bogs, though... there's the usual "please flush, it's a long way to the canteen" and "please do not put cigarette butts in the urinals, it makes them soggy and hard to light business. But after they redecorated, thus removing the decades' worth of graff, somebody had scrawled the legend:

"Mmm, nothing like a blank canvas".

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Best ones - on the hockey posts at my old school
"testicles by ian"

And behind the leisure centre in Swadlincote, Derbyshire:
'Leausure center is fucking bastard wank'

They both had good points, I think you'll agree...

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

The best for graffiti is the mens toilets at the Cartoon Club in Croydon. Every spare inch of bare wall is just covered in scrawls, jokes and cusses. Its pretty amazing. Couple of things that make me chuckle everytime:

(in massive letters): Houston, we have a mullet!

(by the sink): Wash your hands or we'll execute another hostage.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

I remember reading this slightly confessional rumination in a toilet at university: "people who philosophise through graffiti are only pretending to be clever"

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

Norm is a sexual pest.

Re: grafitti seen on toilet venue walls

in daventry theres a subway totally out the way of everything and it says 'modern art is rubbish' its pointless cus its like out of town you'd only go there if you was a farmer or something.