Mike sucks worse than fcnikney, which is kinda bad because McKinney sucked far worse than Sean Adams which was pretty corrupt to begin with.



CD please.

Mike sucks worse than a ruptured colostomy bag, which is kinda bad because a ruptured colostomy bag sucked far worse than that shit Jessica Alba film called 'Honey', which was pretty tragic to begin with

Mike sucks worse than Keane. end of story

Mike sucks worse than a two-bob ho, which is kinda bad because a two-bob ho sucked far worse than my dick, which was pretty bad to begin with.

Sorry, I'm not usually this crude... *ashamed* :s

"Mike sucks worse than the dyson, which is kinda bad because the dyson sucked far worse than the hoover, which was pretty full to begin with."

Sorry, someone had to use this pun.

These Americanisms in our language annoy me.

"Mike sucks worse than Urs Meier, which is kinda bad because that preening Swiss git sucked far worse than the general standard of international refereeing, which was pretty fucking disgraceful to begin with."

Do I win just for reading the article and actually including my email address? raanraals@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than Emma Forbes, which is kinda bad because Nanette Newman sucked far worse than Fanny Fucking Craddock, which was pretty 'special' to begin with."

addedmonkey@yahoo.co.uk

Mike sucks worse than Toploader, which is kinda bad because Toploader sucked far worse than Wet Wet Wet, which was pretty much a case of 'if they ever reform I will personally kill them/ oh shite they have' to begin with.

"Mike sucks worse than Donkey Kong without a banana which is kinda bad because Donkey Kong sucked far worse than jimmy Somerville, which was pretty bald and camp to begin with."

Mike sucks worse than drowning if you're a giraffe, which is kinda bad because phyics would suggest that this is nigh impossible and would take a whirlpool that sucked far worse than a normal size whirlpool, which was pretty hazardous to begin with.

lindseylohan@gmail.com

That should have said 'physics'.

Mike sucks worse than finding out Creed have split up, which is kinda bad because Creed actually being a record-selling band sucked far worse than being alive, which was pretty shit to begin with.


exskallent@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than DAVID FURNISH which is kinda bad because KINDA? WHAT kind of FUCKING WORD IS KINDA? sucked far worse than CUNTING AMERICANISMS, which was pretty TALK TO THE HAND?TALK TO THE FUCKING HAND? WHERE ARE YOU FROM FUCKING MILWAUKEE? -SIT ON IT POTTSY to begin with."

loce & kisses
misspollydoodle@yahoo.co.ukx

Mike sucks worse than Richard Gere, which is kinda bad because Richard Gere sucked far worse than Julia Roberts, which was pretty woman to begin with.

samclarke84@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than a straw with seven holes in it, which is kinda bad because a plastic straw sucked far worse than a wooden straw, which was pretty much the final straw to begin with."

sorry.

tabdrinkink74@yahoo.co.uk

this is kinda depressing coz its not even a proper entry. bob (ha ha-private joke)

"Mike sucks worse than Mary-Kate Olsen which is kinda bad because her sister Ashley sucked far worse than Charlotte Church, which was pretty neat to watch cos they all came of age recently, even if having fantasies about this nubile young trio did make me a paedophile to begin with."

streetlovincheetah@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than Marco which is kinda bad because Marco sucked far worse than Nadia which was pretty fucked up to begin with."

Sorry. I actually quite like you Mike, I just want a CD...

I was going to put:-

"Mike sucks worse than his Mum which is kinda bad because his Mum sucked far worse than his Dad which was pretty - no, horrifying - to begin with."

...but I feel that I should get a kicking for saying that.

Anyway, it's martinbowman17ATmsnDOT.com

Sorry Again!

www.clearfall.co.uk

"Mike sucks worse than a Kinder Egg which is kinda bad because the shitty little plastic toy sucked far worse than the Factory floor scraped Chocolate, which was pretty nauseating and troublesome to eat to begin with."

OilPaintedEyes@aol.com

Mike sucks worse than Gwyneth Paltrow's daughters name, apple, which is kinda bad because it sucked far worse than daniel radcliffe's acting ability, which was pretty wooden to begin with.

Mike sucks worse than every single bad pop group known to mankind, which is kinda bad because the collective of sucky manufactured pop groups sucked far worse than Monica Lewinsky on a lukewarm day in the middle of October, which was pretty high on the rankings of suckititudeability to begin with.

*round of applause* i thank u :-P

boff4life@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than the cold and ancient chill of the void, which is kinda bad because despite years of scientific advancement, that sucked far worse than the all consuming vacuum of space, which was pretty all consuming in its unstoppable breadth of suck to begin with."

thesneezum@yahoo.com

Mike sucks worse than VICTOR, which is kinda bad because TO sucked far worse than WIN, which was pretty ! to begin with.

craignunn@hotmail.com

Mike sucks worse than a chicken which is kinda bad because a chicken sucked worse than the egg which was pretty near definitely there to begin with.

Sorry, I think I might have plagirised someone elses.

Mike sucks worse than Mike which is kinda bad because Mike sucked worse than Mike which was pretty Mike to begin with.

The essentialist version.

Mike sucks worse than his momma which is kinda bad because his momma sucked worse than a gaping raw sucking chest wound which was pretty raw and sucking to begin with.

Fuck wit dat beeeeatch.

self_impressed@yahoo.com

I think what you meant to say, as you are BRITISH not AMERICAN, was; Mike is far worse than...which is kind of bad because...was far worse than..which was pretty bad to begin with.

You are British! Stop trying your hardest to be a 'home boy' you just make yourself sound 'wack'!

XxX

"Mike sucks worse than Abi Titmuss or Paris Hilton in sex tapes in the hands of tabloids, which is kinda bad because Abi Titmuss sucked far worse than Pamela Anderson on Tommy Lee, which was pretty terminally fucking and sucking crazy to begin with."
jacastonvilla@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than the Leeds Pinback show being shelved, which is kinda bad because it was replacing the Glasgow gig which fell through (how can there be no alternative venue just because Stereo was double booked! - bastards!). In retrospect… being purely selfish, this sucked far worse than the Leeds cancellation, which was pretty short notice to begin with."

Ok… so I’m still bitter…

Hey, this may be a daft question, but why do you need people’s email addresses when you can contact them through their profiles?

"Mike sucks worse than __morrisey___, which is kinda bad because __the smiths___ sucked far worse than __joy division___, which was pretty ___fey__ to begin with."

Mike sucks worse than high-street CD prices, which is kinda bad because CD prices sucked far worse than 3 high-class escorts, which was pretty expensive to begin with.

"Mike sucks worse than being critisised by mindless goblins which is kinda bad because goblins used to be a cool/weird toy which sucked far worse than Gremlins which was like an 80's (scary) kids TV show , which was pretty vacant to begin with."

Mike sucks worse than McFly, which is kinda bad because McFly sucked far worse than Busted, which was pretty shit to begin with.

Simple, but effective.

"Mike sucks worse than an over-sized polar bear giving you dating advice, which is kinda bad because the Timmy (for that was the polar bears name) sucked far worse than his advice as he was the one who managed to convince me girlfriend to run away with that weasel faced horse who lives down the road, which was pretty lucky for me in retrospect as they were hunted down for stealing giant pandas and forcing them to speak in stupid 'tup north accents whilst stealing food from cottages so perhaps i should thank Timmy to begin with."

"Mike sucks worse than noo-noo, which is kinda bad because noo-noo sucked far worse than noo-noos momma, which was pretty fucking suckky to begin with."

Heh, that was shit.

"Mike sucks worse than the King of Leons beards, which is kinda bad because those guys beards sucked far worse than Nick Oliveris beard which was pretty damn smelly and untamed, if less gay, to begin with."

MY REAL ENTRY
entitled "Growing Up"

"MIKE SUCKS WORSE THAN following an idealistic young local band since its very inception, only for them to sell out in a manner rejecting their original ideals and become damn popular, leading to you disowning them for the horrendous feeling of treachery brought about by them rejection of their youthful zeal, WHICH IS KINDA BAD BECAUSE you then realise that the more populist music that they've moved on to is in fact infinitely superior in its musical innovation and emotional impact, its just that they grew up faster than you did, and while the original incarnation will always hold a special place in your heart, you begin to understand why everyone, particularly those who had never had a comparable experience of devotion to a "pop music act" said they SUCKED FAR WORSE THAN whoever the big, obvious, CD:UK/NME intersecting, critically pandered to stadium rockers of the day were, WHICH WAS PRETTY much the reason, you realise, that you developed the fixation TO BEGIN WITH."

alcxxk@fuckhotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than all of you, which is kinda bad because you all sucked far worse than me, which was pretty obvious to begin with."

raygun_youth@hotmail.com

"Mike sucks worse than Bush which is kind of bad because you don’t normally suck Bushes and if you do I think you’re in the wrong place, which doesn’t help when his Father sucked far worse than DICK Cheney, which was pretty fucked up that they got to film porn in the Whitehouse to begin with."

joshrjones@aol.com.

Thanks.

"Mike sucks worse than hammers, which is kinda bad because hammers suck far worse than semi-automatic hacksaws, which were pretty communist to begin with."

stevie_morgan@hotmail.com

Mike sucks worse than she does, which is kind of bad because she sucked far worse than he does, which was pretty sucky to begin with

OR

Mike sucks worse than this does, which is kinda bad because this sucked far worse than that, which was pretty sucky to begin with."

hehehe, sucky sucky sucky

pixie_queen@rock.com

Ah bastid - I had that Dyson one lined up and all.

"Mike sucks worse than a 2ft tall midget gorrilla suit, which is kinda bad because that poor peice of textile work sucked far worse than Paul McCartney, who was pretty annoying and old to begin with."

Winners will be notified by email... shortly.
In the meantime, why not buy a ticket to a show, eh?
Grrrrrrravy.
M

Mike sucks worse than his mum, which is kinda bad because she sucked far worse than even his sister, which was pretty poo-mouthed to begin with.

"Mike sucks worse than YA MUM, which is kinda bad because YA MUM sucked far worse than YA DAD, which was pretty SICK MAN SICK INNIT to begin with."

but i love you Mikexx
ape-bather