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keith richards

Keith Richards suffered brain haemorrhage in fall

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by Mike Diver

Despite reports claiming he's fighting fit following a fall in Fiji at the weekend, The Sun has claimed that Rolling Stone Keith Richards is actually in a more serious state than previously though.

The guitarist fell from a coconut tree, and was initially diagnosed with a mild concussion. He received treatment in Fiji before flying to New Zealand, where he checked straight into a hospital.

The 'paper reports that Richards will now undergo surgery, quoting a source thus:

"Keith's accident has turned out worse than everybody feared. After the tests, doctors decided they should drain his skull. It given him a scare but he has been told that he should make a full recovery once it's done."


...

why was he in a coconut tree?!?


.

his wrinkley coconutty head felt at home there amongst its crusty brothers


"why was he in a coconut tree?!?"

that is the question that youve just got to ask


he's keith richards

there is no why.

if you are what you eat then just licking keith richards' shin will get you utterly off your tits.

so climbing a coconut tree is fairly mild, considering...


"doctors decided they should drain his skull"

Surely that'll do more harm than good? I mean, isn't the only reason he's still alive because his brain has been pickled for the past half a century?


yeah but they want to make

a cocktail, theyre gonna cut a hole in his head and stick a straw in and suck it out


should have listened to Coca-Cola

"don't climb for the coconut, just send the butler up"

yes, i fucking went there.

Jordan*


"why was he in a cocunut tree"

its a common tourist attraction in fiji guides will often show how they locals climb up to top of the tree and back down then offer you a go most people sort of erm just fail but he seems to have done some spectacular fall...


*coconut


yeah they fuckin

con you out of money aswell, do you want a coconut? yeah ok...climb the tree, get the cocnut givbe you it, let you take a drink, 'ok give me 15 dollars for drinking my cocnut!! whgat the fuck?!! i feolt bad so i gave him money though


that is surely

not a real pic. it looks like a madame tussauds wax model...