The gods of technology aren't being kind to Damn Arms today. What little of their set they manage to get through arrives sans guitar in what is evidently a valiant struggle with a nonchalant Cardiff crowd and a less than responsive sound engineer. They knock out just a couple of chunks of synth-led disco rock before throwing the towel in and leaving the stage looking as thoroughly dejected as they did on it.
Help! She Can't Swim don't fare a lot better in the sound stakes. The deafening guitars threaten to dominate throughout, leaving the onstage chemistry of Leesey and Tom to be the defining factor in the performance. One minute draped over each other, the next whizzing around the stage like snugly-attired catherine wheels, they play out a moody relationship dynamic whilst yelping ironic scenester-baiting lyrics like "I want a t-shirt that says who I am" from 'Are You Feeling Fashionable'. It's hard to tell at times whether they truly believe in their indier-than-thou image or whether they're playing out some elaborate joke on exactly the people who are dancing along to them, but their knack for spindly
punk rock and shout-along choruses see them through with tremendous vigour. Two new songs don't quite have the same urgency as material off their debut album, one uncharacteristically straightforward and the other a dual-synth rush to the finish. With time, the new material is sure to settle into what is already an incendiary half hour.
With a certain amount of inevitability, the noise erupting from the speakers during the headline set is truly atrocious, but this time the fault lies more with man than machine. Test Icicles manage to out I-don't-give-a-fuck even the band they follow, spreading a thick layer of irony over every guitar strum and embarrassing rock star pose. In fact, of the eight or so songs they 'play', only one is with any sense of coherence. This brief glimpse of how a shambolic live show can be visually and musically exciting is a sad reminder of how good the boys can be when they're not lost in their own self-importance. Following a lazy lounge version of 'Circle, Square, Triangle', Dev responds to being booed and heckled with "but you paid us money!" at once summing up their arrogant, obnoxious behaviour and starting a war of words on the Myspace page they refer to as usual.
Chants of "we want a refund" replace chants of "you're shit and you know you are" as the trio, more and more amused and impressed with themselves, lap it up 'til the end. Even when the stage is emptied, half the crowd wander around in a daze, not quite sure what to make of an act they held in such high regard just an hour or so ago. The main problem with the Icicles' demeanour is that nowadays, believe it or not, bands care. Conor and Chan: two examples of performers who, even when putting on a bad show, put up a fight to win the crowd back. A band can rarely afford to display a complete disregard for the people who are keeping them stocked with Marlboro Lights and tight jeans and get away with it. Tonight people stream out into an all-encompassing cold mourning the money spent in vain: only the most stubborn and idiotic (a gaggle of such people hanging around the dressing room door afterwards, pens and seven inches in hand) would even entertain the thought of placing trust this readily again. It's just not cricket.
Cardiff barfly
Hmm, going to Cardiff barfly and complaining about the sound is a bit like going to the antartic and complaining about the chill.
i agree to a certain extent, it is shit there. but i've heard the same thing about this gig from numerous people.
and as the reviewer says, it wasnt the machines fault that the testicles were pants.(yes, i spelled that as right as i wanted.)
Hi Rhodri!
Yup - but i think the Welsh Clwb's been worse lately.
seriously?
it's always been amazing in the past!
Hi Jane!
True, but at least clwb doesn't have any pillars that obscure the view for about a third of room!
can i
have a photo credit pleeeeaasse? thank you! x
done
sowry!
i'm sure
in its own special way the fact that you wrote scenester baiting makes me look like a muppet by saying this....
but i want a tshirt that says who i am is from the song "are you feeling fashionable" either get your facts straight or stop trying to enrage me
duly noted
x
That line
is a bit of a RIP from Nation of Ulysses: "My t-shirt shows everything". Hmm, too close to the bone?
at least test-icicles
showed up for this show, even if they were awful. twice now they've cancelled Dublin dates at VERY short notice. Patience is growing thin
Hmmmm
I don't think it's fair to go blaming the sound-man about anything on that night. It's not his fault that Damn Arms gear was broken, and it wasn't his fault that Test Ricicles are twats. Apparently their sound-check was more half-arsed than the 'show' they put on.
I was a bit underwhelmed by Help She Can't Swim actually. In fact I was more disapointed with them than I was with the headline act -who'd behaved more or less as I'd expected them to.
so
were you there to see 3 wankers make money out of hype?
Yes
I'd heard bits of Help! She Can't Swim on MySpace, and I've got a copy of the album somewhere, so I was looking forward to seeing them, hence my dissapointement.
I've liked Test Icicles singles, and I'd heard from some people on here that they can be good live. Heard from other people that they're awfull live. So I thought I'd go and make my own informed decision.
that wasn't just awful though
that was properly taking the piss.
they weren't that bad the other times i've seen them.
a ONE!
HA!
Thank God
someone else can speak the truth about the load of old bollocks - I mean Testicles - possibly the most overrated, overhyped band in the world...EVER. And in a list that would also include Babyshambles and Kasabian, that takes some beating.
Goggle box
I watched a program on the 'cles on saturday night. Even in my half cut, semi-comatose state I managed to decide they were a trio of pretentious prolapses. However, I did then make a mayonnaise sandwich out of frozen bread, so the jury is still out.
oh jon.
im glad you didnt give test-icicles like LOADS of points or whatever.
They were utter utter shit....
.....in Brighton. Worst band I've ever seen (and there's been a few) Avoid them like the plague if they come to a town near you.
it's quite sad to see
the deluded idiots sticking up for them on myspace. "oh, the reviewer obviously doesn't get you.. they should know what to expect"
er, no. you were shit.
I actually thought....
.....that the reviewer hit the nail on the fucking head. I only went 'cos a friend's boyfriend was promoting the gig and I wanted to believe that they might actually be able to play the singles (no such luck). All I saw were a lot of angry people scratching their heads in disbelief at the end at the awfulness of what they had just witnessed. I reckon half the crowd had gone within five minutes of them coming on. Wish I 'd followed them. Fucking dreadful.