“Ah, suspenders!” says the American businessman outside Green Park tube, as I drunkenly offer props to his braces. No mate, suspenders are what girls wear (Naughty girls, girls who know they’ve been bad etc etc) These are braces and only the nattiest chaps step out in them.

Dr Gonzo & I had been plied with whisky by Kinesis’s manager (what a gent…) and frankly it’d all got a little messy as I picked my way home, my feet crippled by my stolen bowling shoes. But maybe I should start at the beginning…

“The “G” Word – Can you handle it?” Such was the challenge laid down by the pamphlet handed to me by the Jesus Christians outside the Garage. In the comic, Jesus, who looks a lot like Phil Lynott, wanders the land saying cool things like “Keep your knickers on woman, I’m not dead yet”. Judas has dreads and Buddy Holly glasses. Inside the venue, revelations of a different kind are to take place…

Smother are opening up, so early it’s still sunny outside. But, while the venue may be deserted to begin with, a half-decent crowd begins to gather at the foot of the stage. Smother’s bass-driven dirty south grunge sound belies their Essex roots. Slow, but powerful low end riffs grind along, recalling the blunted stoner drive of Queens of the Stone Age or even Nirvana at their doomiest. The band’s down-played three part harmonies are well employed; deceptively subdued, adding some meat to the bare bones of the three piece line-up. It isn’t all glue sniffing stuff though, funkier numbers recall ‘ver Rage’ while the quieter moments add a touch of Placebo’s snotty disaffection, before singer Luke rolls out his leather-throated growl again…oh yeah and they’re signed to Nathan McGough’s new label, which is nice…

Winnebago Deal set us one enigma at least: How can soundmen manage to do what they do so very badly? Even for a two-piece band, it’s the classic “guitars on 11, snare drum on about five-fucking-thousand, everything else on 2” sound. Do they have a ‘Mary Chain fetish, or are they all just drunkards? The music, as much as I could tell from the murky depths of the PA, seems in thrall to Bleach-era Nirvana (as does the two fellas’ look), and that whole Sub Pop sludge-rock sound: A low end powered wall-of-sound with plenty of Deeee-stortion on the guitar, with vocals, when they finally emerge from the swamp, also sounding not dissimilar to el Kurto. The are moments when the whole thing slips into the sound of two guys pissing about in a garage, but for the most part it’s great fun, if hardly a musical revolution.

If you believed the hype, you’d think that’s exactly what Kinesis want: A revolution. But really that's only half the story. Yes, opener ‘Everything Destroys itself’ and breakthrough single ‘Billboard Beauty’ offer uncompromising themes and pummelling angular guitar riffs, which recall nothing so much as Fugazi before they went all prog on us. But it’s not all fiery polemic and ‘post-hardcore’; new single “Forever Reeling” shows the Manics influence goes deeper than just some words on t-shirts, wearing it’s broken heart on it’s sleeve, but with a Stadium sized swagger that wouldn’t be out of place on ‘Generation Terrorists’. Kinesis have always been a fantastic live band, but tonight there’s a particular power and confidence to their performance: Maybe it’s the last night of the tour, the inspiring sight of an impressively widespread moshpit filling the dance floor ('ver kids' gotta let off exam stress somehow!), or maybe it’s just Friday 13th, but Kinesis seem unstoppable right now. Playing hard with a drive that belies their tender years, it’s a mighty racket indeed, but most pleasingly, with a grasp of dynamics and nuanced detail that puts many more experienced bands to shame. You’d best catch ‘em now before the guitarist disappears and the singer turns into a fat bastard.