I grew up in Southern California. It used to bother me that Northern Cali was considered the cultural half of our state and that somehow we were inferior - the embarrassing relative that somehow made too much money. I felt pride in where I lived and where I was from. Dammit. I loved LA. And I loathed kids from the Bay Area and beyond on principle. Too cool for school. And their slang killed me. Especially the word 'hella'. "Wow, that's hella cool!" "Man, that guy was hella fine!" "Shit, it's hella cold out!" It used to drive me mad when I heard it. AARGH. That kind of mad. And, just when I thought I was reformed after 4 years living in London, here come two guys from Sacremento. A band called Hella. Those mother bitches. And you know what? Their gig on Monday night just blew me away.

Now, in this post-White Stripes world we live in, even my dad embraces the idea that a guitarist and a drummer can make a complete band. It doesn't seem too crazy or anything. But this band IS crazy. You see, Hella are a metal band. A relentless, technically superb, quick-as-lightning, two-piece metal band. Seriously, you have never seen musicians this accomplished. Zach Hill is probably the best drummer you'll ever have the chance to watch. His playing is so tight and so fast it is literally breathtaking. It's actually hard to believe that a human being can play with such speed and precision. The same can be said for Spencer Seim's guitar. Compositionally, they complement each other absolutely perfectly. Zach's machine-gun fills and rolls support Spencer's schizophrenic guitar breakdowns. And then they switch over and the guitarist's chugging riffs lay the groundwork for the stuttering, manic drums.

Hella are rather like Lightning Bolt, except less straightforwardly melodic. Their songs twist and turn away from the obvious - they hit a groove and then screw it up, hit another groove, then smash it to bits. It's incredibly powerful stuff and it’s more than just a showcase for their technical talent. The gig at Needles - a weird basement wine bar with all the style and ambience of a Bella Pasta - was Hella's first UK show. They'll be back in 4 months, playing bigger shows than this, and your asses better be there.