Eurockéennes, or ‘Les Eurocks’ (should you wish to appear down with les Fronch) is a music festival in Belfort, near the Swiss border. It takes place on 2nd-4th July, and has three stages of music (one of which is on an actual beach); it has delightful lakes to swim in when it gets too hot; it has glorious, non-dread food stalls because the French know their way around a kitchen; and, AND, it has an audience that will largely consist of men who look like Him Out Of Betty Blue and women who look like Her Off Of That Chanel Ad With The Bird In It. Obviously, it is going to be ten kinds of delightful. Mainly because Jay-Z, Missy, Fuck Buttons, Hot Chip, The XX, Janelle Monae, LCD Soundsystem, Health and Mr. Julian Casablancas are playing. But also, I am going.
This means you shall have to suffer ‘reports’ both during and after the festival. So would it not be dead bon, if you came too?
Some information of a persuasive nature:
Friday 2nd July
JAY-Z | THE DEAD WEATHER | KASABIAN | CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG | MISSY ELLIOTT | HOT CHIP | THE BLACK KEYS | FOALS | SOPHIE HUNGER & PIERS FACCINI, AVEC CHOEURS ET ORCHESTRE (SPECIAL GUEST : PATRICK WATSON) | SUICIDAL TENDENCIES | BB BRUNES | CONVERGE | INFECTIOUS GROOVES | PATRICK WATSON | THE SUBS | CHROMEO | BARONESS | ROX | TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB | KING MIDAS SOUND | SCHLACHTHOFBRONX | BOMBA ESTEREO | THE PICTUREBOOKS | FILIAMOTSA | WANKIN’ NOODLES
Saturday 3rd July
THE HIVES | VITALIC | THE SPECIALS | THE XX | GHINZU | AIRBOURNE | JANELLE MONAE | HINDI ZAHRA & EL TANBURA | EMILIE SIMON | BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE | GENERAL ELEKTRIKS | WE ARE ENFANT TERRIBLE | AFRODIZZ | THE BEWITCHED HANDS ON THE TOP OF OUR HANDS | SERENA MANEESH | OMAR SOULEYMAN | MEMORY TAPES | SELAH SUE | RADIO RADIO | SEXY SUSHI | OY | COLT SILVERS | ELEKTRISK GØNNER | LE PRINCE MIIAOU
Sunday 4th July
MASSIVE ATTACK | MIKA | LCD SOUNDYSTEM | JULIAN CASABLANCAS | EMPIRE OF THE SUN | GALLOWS | THE DRUMS | WOVEN HAND & MUZSIKAS | THE BLOODY BEETROOTS DEATH CREW 77 | HEALTH | FUCK BUTTONS | ACTION BEAT | MARTINA TOPLEY BIRD | THE ETHIOPIQUES | MY OWN PRIVATE ALASKA | THE MIDDLE EAST | GABLE | WILDBIRDS & PEACEDRUMS | MY LADY’S HOUSE | RIEN | KID BOMBARDOS
Pretty special, I am sure you will agree. Obviously I am less sure about the likes of Wankin’ Noodles, Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77 or Sexy Sushi. Those crazy continentals, hein? Those ‘bloody’ beetroots! But who knows, even these bands might turn out to be - how you say - soo-pear-buh. And that is French for ‘wicked’.
One day ticket (Fri, Sat or Sun - camping included): 42€
Three day ticket (camping included): 95€ (about £80)
If you want to go for the whole thing (and why would you not), you'd prolly leave on Thursday 1st July and come back Monday 6th. There will be one of those warm-up party thingies on the Thursday night. And those are always strangely good, aren't they? Because you get to do a lovely first pootle round the site with a continential biere in your hand, and everyone is all smiles and woo-hoo-holiday, and there are no casualties (yet), and you can feel yourself getting nicely excited. Mmn.
WHERE BE IT?
The festival site is on the peninsula of Malsaucy. Given that 'mal' means 'bad' and 'saucy' means 'saucy' ['NO IT DOESN'T' - Pierre le Stickler], this means that Eurockéennes takes place in quite literally a 'saucily bad' place. (Promising.) But map fans will want to know that it is also near Belfort, in the East of France, close to the Swiss border.
Nearest airport: Basel/Mulhouse (about 70kms from the festival). Flights via EasyJet from London (Gatwick/Stansted) and Liverpool. But you could go by Eurostar and then take a train to Belfort station, where there'll be free shuttles to reach the festival site and the campsite.
There is free camping (also a mobile home/van/caravan area) and a free car park. Le camping is a short walk along a disused railway line from the festival site, and I am told it is a 'scenic stroll'. But there are also free shuttle buses if you can't be arsed.
On the campsite: showers, toilets and a café serving breakfast, food, sexy French people and 'drinks'. The campsite is open from Thursday 1st July (5pm) to Monday 5th July (12 am). But no animals. That would not be bon.
HOTELS (FOR LES PONCES)
If you can't bear the thought of camping next to some impossibly sexy French persons, try the Belfort Infoline (or 'Tourist Board') on this utterly quite foreign telephone number: 00 33 384 559 090
So there you go. A sun-drenched festival, in la belle France, for not that many quids, in a beautiful location with proper nice food AND a mahoosively good line up.
For more information, have a gander at the official Eurockéennes Festival website, what is here. There are heaps of persuasive photograms and IT IS GOING TO BE ACE.