Everyone loves this song don't they. I mean EVERYONE. Even those of us who apparently don't have a functioning irony gland (I fall into this category and the Bloodhound Gang can f*** off) still love this song. We all think it's the greatest amalgamation of sounds in the history of sound itself. It effortlessly falls into the same category as 'Anarchy in the UK' , 'Strawberry Fields Forever' , 'Don't believe the hype' and 'I am the resurrection'. Right ?

Eminem is , to quote the bearded beat poet Alan Ginsberg , one of the "finest minds of my generation , destroyed by madness ". In fact , read this muthaf****'s lyrics. He's better than all the beat poets crushed into one big ball of poetic genius. In fact , he makes all music and literature so utterly redundant that he is the benchmark by which all his successors will be judged. They shall all fall. Why should anyone ever want another artist ever when there's someone who can write something like this ? I'm right , aren't I ?

Well , perhaps not but one can not be dismissive about Eminem's desperate lunge for the hugely "rebellious" Christmas number one slot (tune in next week when Mr Mathers further confounds his anti-establishmentarianism by appearing on CD:UK and being interviewed by Smash Hits while the so totally utterly not-cool and laughable un-credible Bryan Westlife overthrows the totalitarian regime in China. Sell out !! )

As Eminem proved on last single 'The Way I Am' , he hates the fame (Must be the whole millionaire sex-overload thing , pity him) and 'Stan' is merely a consequence of it. As Morrissey once sang : "Fame , fame , fatal fame / It can play hideous tricks on the brain " but thankfully Eminem has no brain and so said fatal fame plays one of the finest singles of the year. Stealing all the good bits from sub-Beth Orton wannabe Dido we get Stan , the over-obsessive fan.

He's angry with his hero for not replying to his letters. So his ties up his girlfriend , sticks her in the boot of his car and drives off the edge of a cliff. How very , very rational. About as rational as Eminem's success but let's just enjoy the ride while we can.

Oh , and incidentally , Steven Patrick Morrissey ?!?! How come you never replied to MY letters ? Pop stars eh ? Bunch of f***ing primadonas.