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Franz Ferdinand Michael

Franz Ferdinand: Michael

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? by Gareth Dobson
As the heroic quartet from Scotland burn through the streets of Fife in their Rock DeLorean, leading man Marty McKapranos notes that their career trajectory is accelerating at such a rate that fairly soon, they will be hitting the fabled 88mph mark.

"Holy shit, Doc!" hollers McKapranos, "if we go any faster, we'll be headlining Wembley back in 1983 with Orange Juice!"

"But surely that would be a good thing?" responded one of the other ones whose name is nowhere near as exotic.

"No" intoned McKapranos darkly. "That would create a parallel scratchy-guitar universe whereby this sort of music would be popular the first time round, therefore creating a rift in the space-time continuum that could drastically alter the very fabric of the universe, potentially causing the end. of. all. human. life.
This is heavy".

"Great Scott!"

  • Franz Ferdinand 7 / 10
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Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Although I'm sure this will get nothing but attacked, as far as I'm concerned it's funny enough to work.
guntrip | 10 Aug '04, 15:19 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Ha ha! I like this review.
Damian | 10 Aug '04, 15:22 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

what songs getting reviewed again?
team_cooper | 10 Aug '04, 15:37 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

The Power Of Love - by Huey Lewis And The News
GarethD | 10 Aug '04, 15:44 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Are you actually Mark Beaumont circa 1999 writing nme reviews, in disguise? Or was that just an unfortunate typewriter accident there?
Pompey_Ruffian | 12 Aug '04, 03:03 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

No, sadly not. indeed, it's important to note that Mark Beaumont circa 1999 was merely a slightly disappointing rehash of Simon Williams circa 1993.

How things move on...

GarethD | 12 Aug '04, 15:27 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

But Mr Beaumont does sport a crackingly faded Radio 4 t-shirt at pub quizzes around norf Laaandan (pub quizzes that I am SHIT at), which is something Mr Williams could not have done.
Mike_Diver | 12 Aug '04, 15:32 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

yes and they are both far far better than the mcgee gimnps who write for it now
poshbird | 12 Aug '04, 15:35 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Last time I was brave enough to look.......Beaumont was back at NME again.....which also figures...
Pompey_Ruffian | 12 Aug '04, 15:47 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Simon Williams?! Here, that's giving Beaumont waaay too much undue credit now. Try a pisspoor sub-6th-form Swells but with all/any bile or sharpness or wit removed, without the tiniest scrap of humour as a saving grace, who never could write for shit. Hateful, useless, pointless, and awesomely dull. He was Melody Maker's big-name-journo-signing when Mark Sutherland took over and burned everything that ever made the paper great into the ground, go figure.

If you're not Beaumont you should be fucking GLAD, what's with this "sadly not"? Oh well...
That's not to say you're as terrible a writer as him, mind; that'd simply be plain nasty and wrong. Just that review..
Pompey_Ruffian | 12 Aug '04, 15:43 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Hehe. Nice review Gareth.
naat | 10 Aug '04, 16:56 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

i love the song causes it pisses off my mum. o yea and great review
zakkrasta | 10 Aug '04, 21:54 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

this review is funny. funnier than the song. matinee/take me out/darts of pleasure were better.
still reckon they're a singles band
brusma | 10 Aug '04, 22:35 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Yeah, they would be a singles band if there was one naff song on the album. But there isn't. So there.

Not sure about the version they released as a single though - album version is better.
Angelsane | 11 Aug '04, 02:12 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

I want to know why it pisses Zakkrasta's mum off.
Durutti | 11 Aug '04, 08:57 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

i like this song. better than take me out, that song is on the same annoying level as 7 nation army, dont look back in anger etc. over played to death.
nikki2004 | 11 Aug '04, 09:34 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Re: Franz Ferdinand - Michael

my mom is a hardcore southern baptist so anything slightly "homosexual" creeps her out, i love it though
"this is what i am, i am a man so come and dance with me michel" i could sing it all day
zakkrasta | 11 Aug '04, 13:44 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Best song on the album. Do they really need another single though?
crosbysleftear | 12 Aug '04, 22:17 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

it rocks wen i first heard it i was like wow!
maria_g | 13 Aug '04, 00:24 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Every single song of theirs has that exact same beat; quarter notes on the kick drum. I'm not even joking, it's on EVERY SINGLE SONG!

I would really like these guys otherwise.
danger | 18 Aug '04, 22:25 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

lol very entertaining, certainly made me giggle (in a good way) but where's the review? *looks down back of sofa* Nope, not there....so where is it darling? hiding inside your back to the future video case?
amp2004 | 19 Aug '04, 00:07 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand or Talking Heads?

Has anyone noticed a similarity between Talking Heads & Franz Ferdinand? I'm not slating them, I quite like both of them, but there is a sound connection.
LeonHamilton | 24 Aug '04, 13:58 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Franz Ferdinand - Michael

Wow, the above comment was very valid wasn't it!?
Well, one of them had ripped off the other to some degree, so yeah!
But where the fuck do the Franz guys go from here?
AtollK | 10 Oct '04, 16:45 | Send note | Report this | Reply