My automatic response to The Automatic? Projectile vomit, so copious that whatever device dares to massacre my ears with this bloated, painful song, is drowned in a sea of emerald green stomach bile. Sticky, acrid stomach bile that hits the device with an audible splash, then proceeds to burn through all the transistors, fuses and contacts, rendering the speakers muted, defunct, kaput.
If it was you who requested this to be played on the radio, you have my sympathy. Are you so stupefied that you find this ditchwater enthralling? Are you so brainwashed that you believed this was exciting? Do you have any sensory judgement at all? The chorus – “What’s that coming over the hill / Is it a monster? Is it a monster?” repeated ad infinitum, is of the most conceivably obvious variety. No need to remember lyrics - you can all sing along with vacant meaning at your chosen corporate, vapid festival. You can all jump up and down to this ‘stomper’, its comedy screams and caveman-like monosyllabic delivery. Don’t lambaste me for ‘missing the point’, for not noticing how ‘fun’ this is. Fun is when Deerhoof sprinkle me with Technicolor melodies, or when Hot Chip sneak wit into a dance floor hit. Fun isn’t being bludgeoned over the head, causing my skull’s brain content to seep out of the fractures, with a chorus as delicately crafted as a battering ram.
I assume this single is an edited version. They have clipped the final chorus, where the ruddy monster they blather on about, finally ambles up to the half-wits and rips their silly neanderthal faces right off, blood everywhere.
...
Balanced, fair and truthfull.
Good review.
surely
fun is subjective.
therefore i don't have a problem with you not finding this fun.
i however, find this catchy and inoffensive. i'll leave the deep and meaningful to other bands.
i find this...
...catchy and OFFensive. thankyou for giving it nought.
Arrghhh!!!!!
Yes, this really is as dreadful as the reviewer rightly states.
They are an abomination live.
They are still only young men, they have time to put things right. That Charlie guy from Busted is doing really well these days and is credible.
My mum is calling me for dinner.
Ouch!
But you're right, yes!
....
I love this song. Shoot me.
i have a gun
and will.
im sorry
at least I dont own it. *Runs to shops to get it*
See this...
"Don’t lambaste me for ‘missing the point’, for not noticing how ‘fun’ this is. Fun is when Deerhoof sprinkle me with Technicolor melodies, or when Hot Chip sneak wit into a dance floor hit. Fun isn’t being bludgeoned over the head, causing my skull’s brain content to seep out of the fractures, with a chorus as delicately crafted as a battering ram."
Testify!
i like it
non-indie snobs of the world unite!
..
This review is SPOT ON. Well dun.
This song
is a work of unadulterated catchy-pop anthemic genius.
You're entitled to your opinion, though.
She's right.
Its fucking bad.
WANK LIVE TOO.
^^^No, I disagree :(
Although, I can totally see where you're coming from, they are crap, but I love them coz I think they're FUN. Sometimes I get bored of 'good' thought-provoking music and just want to listen to catchy crap.
but you can have catchy, fun
non-thought-provoking music that isn't crap though surely?
they just ripped off Jarcrew
??!?
concise
and well balanced review
as in there is no counter argument
shame
I like the song :(
I recon if they wernt mainstream they wouldnt have gotten half the shit they do get
they're ...
absolutely rubbish live, but this review is embarrassing and so wrong. Monster is a belter of a pop track and no. 4 in the charts today so if you find it so offensive you're about to have a tough old time. The Automatic write great pop songs Raoul was even better. Franz and Kaisers blew the doors off, making pop a clean word again and The Automatic are revelling in the glory! nuff said
Agreed,
especially about Raoul. Both are fun, disposable catchy pop tunes.
I don't think they're bad live either - although their overblown hyperactivity does start to grate after a while.
Wow...
Rachel Cawley is my new favourite person. Good on yer.
And no, they didn't rip off Jarcrew. Jarcrew were good.
BTW Is there something wrong with me
I hate anything mainstream - even the non shit stuff I get bored of quickly. I dont listen to Radio 1 anymore, I dont read the NME and I dont watch MTV2 (although that was because we had to get rid of sky digital) and yet I still like these guys. So Is there something wrong with me?
lol
jusr lol
I was going to snipe at this review
Before actually listening to the review and realising it was spot on. Utter drivel.
not review
I meant song..
*sigh*
now i don't often speak out but this review is so pathetic its unbelievable
i'd never even heard of this band until i saw this video on mtv2 the other day. the video made me smile and i thought the song was pretty damn catchy.
this review though strikes me as the review of someone wanting to appear 'cool' to all the holier-than-thou-mainstream-haters with OTT hyperbole, rather than actually having anything worthwhile or of journalistic value to say.
as for dissing a song because the lyrics aren't deep and meaningful and the guitar playing not intricate enough to be described as 'quirky', well aren't songs just occasionally allowed to be FOR FUN?
"sometimes simple chords are the best" and all that
Hmm,
couldn't you have read the review properly first? She lists artists that she thinks makes songs for fun, but are actually good.
thommo
I'm sure jambojambo did read the review! else they wouldnt be commenting on it just below!
Read the post properly.
Then read the review properly.
Then tell me that jambo is arguing for how music should occasionally be "FOR FUN", and thinking it is argument for The Automatic to be accepted as anything other than uter shit.
And then see that, if the review had initially been read properly, then you'd both realise that Rrr lists artists that she thinks are fun but are actually good.
It would save us all time ultimately, wouldn't it?
'appear cool'
Oh fuck off.
I hate people - HATE PEOPLE - that immediately leap to some retarded conclusion that a reviewer must be acting 'cool' by knocking a band that other people like.
WRONG.
Some people like shit songs. Some people don't. Some people even like The Feeling. But they'll all DIE soon.
This is a great, amusing, heart-warming, funny, ACCURATE (IMO) review - Rachel has conveyed both a feeling of the song itself and her own feelings towards it, which seem to be on a level with mine for The Feeling (DIE).
Sometimes simple chords are great, true - see Weezer for a GREAT guitar-pop band with simple chords - but, like that fat comedian that played the piano really badly, but could only do so cos he was actually a great pianist (Les Dawson innit), you need to be stupid cleverly.
There's nothing clever about this simple shit.
Now get off your own counter-cool high horse and drink your freakin' milk already.
Fill my little world right up,
right up. Love you Mike.
fuck off?
Nice. Eloquent.
My "retarded" conclusion was not based on the reviewer knocking a band that someone else likes, i have no problem with that. Even if you don't like the song, no way on earth is this a 0/10 song. Very few songs are (except possibly the crazy frog rubbish), personally I can't stand Hard Fi but i'd never consider any of their songs to be 0/10 because i can see why other people might like them.
...and what makes you think i'm on some kind of counter-cool high horse? What the hell is that anyway? I automatically dislike anything perceived as cool? Gimme a break! I like many bands (some mainstream, some not) and if i don't like the music then i just ignore the band, rather than wasting time posting rubbish like "yah, they're shit, lol"
^ seconded
ooh dear, jambojambo, we aren't going ot be popular are we?
i agree
with jambojambo, thats what i wanted to say but my brain isn't working at the mo
it's not a brilliant song
but i don't think it's quite a zero-tear-your-face-off-slagging-it song.
DiS
Why don't you get people to review a single who may have an actual interest in this style of music? Maybe someone who actually likes Franz and Kaisers might be better able to give it a valid score in its so-called "genre" or whatever.
Its completely pointless even posting this review really, don't you think?
Fair enough, yes, you will stand behind what your reviewers say but....... come on. This sort of review serves no purpose.
Yes. It does serve a purpose. Some, actually...
1) It tells it like it is from one person's perspective. If we gave everything that comes in here to someone that'll give it 8/10, then all the reviews would end in an 8/10. So then what's the pointof having critics if everything's good already?
2) It promotes debate among our readers.
3) It makes me wonder if Rachel actually could projectile vomit. She is but wee, you see...
4) I have no four. Well, no immediate four. Oh, well maybe this: it's a good review, shut up.
It's
definitely an entertaining review, so thumbs up for that. And bile (in reviews)is always fun.
I dont understand how this got ) out of 10
I think its quite inoffensive tbh. Zeros should be left for Mr. Blunt.
Damn
I meant 0 out of 10
Jeez
It's a bloody good song.
So fuck you guys ^-^
I liked it
dont get shitty with me!
it might not be good
but surely a zero is a bit ridiculous.
Why so?
If you hear something that makes your ears run red with fury - HOW can something this BAD get a deal/distribution/et cetera? - and see through its so-funny-but-not-really veil of tomfoolery and fun and jinx to the hideous core of sweltering shite within, then SURELY that's a ZERO?
Captials = cool. Right now. Not in a minute. Oh no.
I prefer James Blunt
Really.
And I love Franz Ferdinand, I quite like Kaisers. I think Arctic Monkeys have some cracking pop songs. Don't claim that I hate everything mainstream, that's far from true!
This isn't a good pop song, and (as I said), it's not fun, it's shit. Can't imagine anyone choosing to listen to it, I really can't. I'm sure you'll all have forgotten about it in a few months time. To say it makes me want to die isn't much of an exaggeration at all.
Mike understands precisely. Weezer are one of my favourite bands ever, they have big fat choruses, but also a wry sense of humour and some actual energy rather than forumlaic triteness.
But at the end of the day
listen to what you will. regret it later.
It is indeed shite!
But 0? It has SOME(not much) musical value, surely? 0 really should be reserved for the LOWEST of the low (IMO) whos music lacks any coherence and has no musical value at all. 'Completely abysmal, couldn't be worse if it tried': Not entirely true (IMO!)
But that's Rachel's opinion, and she didn't design the review so we could all agree with each other. Factoid.
i think it has no worth whatsoever
I know thats at the extreme end of opinion, but it's been rubbed in my face by radio and television, it just gets worse the more I hear it.
I think possibly the reason why it is a 0 for me, is that it does maintain pretences that it is a worthwhile bit of songwriting. Inspecting the lyrics reveals incredibly little, the chorus is the most tired and rehashed thing I've heard this year.
I LOVE POP and thats why I wanted to decry this piece of shit masquerading as pop.
...
I like Kaisers and all those kind of bands. I actually liked the guitars in this song. And then the chorus kicked in. Can I love a song that repeats those genius lines over and over again? Not a chance.
Buck Rogers...
its got a CD player player player player and so on and so forth.
Genius lines repeated?
However I do like Buck Rogers - great song!
err
I hadn't heard it until I bought it. That said, I don't listen to Radio 1, which I hear has playlisted it, but I haven't seen them anywhere on television. Give me this over some of the shit which DiS has raved about (example: the Cribs) in the past any day.
ho is
tha automatik?
wow
0. that's harsh.
Spot on
They really are that shite.
kill
the extremely annoying backing singer.
I reall wanna
hear this now. Yesteday when the garish cover attracted to me to the 7" (i'm a sucker for 50s b-movie-type artwork) I wasn't that arse, but now I just have to hear this record. Great review!
Cracking single
This review is so far off the mark and up its own arse with its indie snobbery it's beyound belief.
Name drop Hot Chip why don't you - add a little Deerhoof for credibility?
Sad sad sad sad sad.
This is a corking little single with a chorus to die for and is a downright excellent "fun" pop tune. For it is fun and you are right that you have utterly missed the point! History will be the judge of you....
Having seen the Vid on MTV2 a few times now I think the chorus happens three times maybe four so "ad infinitum"? I think that shows how accurate the review is.
Go and listen to this song - it's a fine piece of music.
Hot Chip fun?
Riiiiiiiight.
Love Pop? You are deluded.
Congratulations for getting Mike to back you up but you both happen to be wrong!
Its not a patch on hot chip
not even fucking close
but Its definitely better than 0 in my opinion.
It doesn't grate on me at all. I'd give it 6 or 7
dear nickd
LOL
If this is fun to you, listen to it. I want to die when I hear it, sorry.
I refer to a specifc lyric being repeated ad infinitum. The chorus is played 3 times, the lyric is repeated 4 times in each chorus. That's 12 repeats of the same line. It's not even funny!
Wack.
I'm off to listen to Cyndi Lauper.
Dear Rrrachel
Not off to listen to Hot Chip or Deerhoof then?
That didn't last long!
Don't you worry pal, I will listen to this as its top, and I guess both views here will have their supporters but I again will see who comes out on top when the smoke dies down.
Glad you think ad infinitum now = 12, like the song review I doubt many will agree with that.
Wack wack ooops
Was that a joke?
Girls just want to have fun - Are there any other lyrics to that song?
This clearly is an example of trying to be cool. I had a look at the bands you've rated and The Killers and The Magic numbers have both scored 0. Would they have scored 0 if they weren't as famous? People either like them or they don't but they are not worth of 0. Why did you give We Are Scientists 3? They have an album with 1-2 decent songs and a load of cack, at least The Killers managed 3-4 decent tracks.
What I take offence from is the 0 score. Why not 2 or 3?
Mike-D - next you will be telling us Tommy Cooper really was a great magician too.
'trying to be cool'
Again, I stress that this is a ridiculous thing to say, an accusation that has no grounding. There is no evidence above of Rachel attempting to be a perception of cool through prose alone.
A band becoming popular DOES NOT make people automatically dislike them - my fondness for Bloc Party did not wane when they blew up on a global scale, and many of my favourite bands are able to sell-out huge venues. Obviously there is evidence of continual critical backlash in the press, music or otherwise, but generally DiS is unaffected by such trends as we don't need to be 'controversial' about a popular band to seel a few crummy magazines. We tell it like it is: this is an honest review, well written and structured with intelligence and wit. Roughly 99 per cent of so-called critics in the music press could learn from it, for it contains not one FUCKING OBVIOUS CLICHE.
Anyway... people rate bands lowly if they think they're cack; likewise one person's bad song is another's Desert Island Disc. Go figure.
Tommy Cooper was an awful magician - that said, he was smart enough with his inabilities to be successful all the same - but Les Dawson was actually a very talented piano player.
funnily enough
I just don't like the killers or the magic numbers. I'm so revolutionary! It's not cool to lick up each last drop of the shit you're fed.
Cyndi has more than one song.
Was it She Bop?
That's a good song isn't it.
wow...
this is so so heated.
i know, everything has been said thus far, but in my opinion:
- no indie snobbery is used here at all, the song is just a bit rubbish.
- name dropping is what reviewers DO! i think it's helpful in getting the message across.
-sure the review's a bit harsh, but it made me laugh and if nothing else that makes it fairly successful. i like reviews of bad albums/songs because it just makes me laugh.
ok, yeah, basically, i think the reviewers are mainly right and abusing each other over the internet is silly and wrong. spare the 'fuck yous' for your friday night out at yates'.
lol
yates
...
Its a bad song. It is boring. It has little to no worth. It is a waste of resources and time.
Stop being twats. It was only a review.
Rrrachel you're right!
The Magic Numbers are indeed a complete load of overrated boring easy listening nonsense.
You don't have everything wrong ;) and you like Broadcast I see - so there's hope yet.
Mike - not that it will matter one jot to you - I like most of what you write, and respect most of what you commit to "press" but if you can't see that dropping Hot Chip and Deerhoof into a review about The Automatic is at best misguided then I am genuinely surprised.
And Bloc Party we both salute, so I'll stand with you on that. (BTW have you heard Mission Of Burma's new cd - luvverly!
Cyndi Lauper I could have handled.
edtaf? the only twats on here are the ones who stamp their feet when people care enough to write in about the music they like.
If you don't like reading the responses - don't bleedin' read them!
>give me strength!<
yep, the new MoB is mint
and I hate people that say mint.
my logic?
deerhoof were the most FUN thing I could think of
hot chip are in a fairly mainstream position now after 'over and over' had so much airplay.
nick, you obviously like a lot of great things looknig at your ratings. When you compare the automatic to, say, Maximo Park though - don't you think that MP are miles ahead? Insanely catchy choruses, a touch of intelligence, variety, excitement.
I was going to say quality of music is subjective, but i'm not so sure the more I think about it.
Common ground
Rrrachel
Thanks for taking my barbed comments with such good grace!
Yes we both have a lot of common ground and good god I am not a The Atumatic fan as such I just think the Monster ditty is a fine song.
I completely and utterly agree that Maximo Park are a stellar orbit better than The Automatic.
I still think that the bands you mentioned were out of place but it's a free world
> you mention, I criticise, then we agree on something and the world still turns nicely on its axis :)
PS Hot Chip? not good! :)))
it has to be said
that this review and subsequent debate made me go and have a listen to this when I otherwise wouldn't have bothered.
So thanks, guys, that's a good three minutes I'm not getting back.
the new MoB?????
who is the new MoB? I would like to know...
PS: shaddup NickD, with your big smiley faces.
:)))))
As you've been so nice to me.
The new Mission Of Burma is "Obliterati" released in the UK on Monday and almost as essential as my big smiley faces is the free DVD that comes with the CD.
Much niceness.
8.99 at HMV on line - tell em someone happy sent ya!