The word ‘ballad’ strikes fear into the heart of most red-blooded rockers, and nothing – nothing – could possibly instil more horror within the average individual than such a song from the loins of a well below-par indie-pop band dressed in Mod threads. The Ordinary Boys: their past form has already proved that they don’t even deserve that favourable a critical assessment.
‘I Luv U’ is evil, through and through: from the TXTMSSG generation/Love Hearts spelling of its title to the second-thought, written on a tissue after a hand-job from Mrs Preston lyrics, it’s wetter than a baby’s first shit and smells fouler than Stuart Cable’s post-gig hair circa 1999. Honesty is the best policy, often, but boys: why highlight an innate inability to convey the merest semblance of soul-sourced adoration for a partner in such a potentially career-wrecking style. At least ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ had one ball, if not a perfect pair; this is so limp that pumping it full of quick-drying cement couldn’t stiffen it up.
Sonia’s ‘daughter’ in EastEnders – she of acting skills comparable only with a banana – has a better chance of doodling a Michelangelo from memory, in Crayolas, than The Ordinary Boys have of ever regaining any relative credibility they might’ve once enjoyed. There’s no way back for them while they’re content to release slush like this. ‘I Luv U’ is, almost certainly, the worst song of 2007. And it’s a ballad. And it’s January. Nothing will ‘top’ this in the next twelve months.
For that questionable achievement, boys, congratulations. Now fuck off to somewhere we can’t hear you.
ha ha
it's like a song that failed to make the b-side of a children in need charity release...i imagine dawn french and lenny henry running about dressed as chantalle and preston being "really funny" everytime i have to hear this....
this is one of those things you can't believe more than one person gave the greenlight to releasing, let alone recording...bizarre
perfect
review.
You're funny
I feel I ought to give this a listen now. It's on their Mice Pace I imagine?
It's not
But there is a 40 second sample of Lonely At The Top.En...joy.
I Luv U
Diver
Sub-Osmonds shite
Have you seen the video to this? Somehow manages to make an embarrassing song ten times worse. That might just be Preston's face, mind. Most charmless individual in pop.
Bloody hell!
I was expecting this song to get a really positive review. Imagine my shock when I look down and see the little numbers only highlighted to 1. I swear DiS, you catch me off guard every time.
Bit generous.
i feared when i saw the title that it'd be an attempt at the Dizzee Rascal song. Grindie is dead!
A 1?
Were you feeling a bit generous at the time?
really good song
but it's 'popular' so yeah.
Also, before anyone jumps in and say 'BUT HEY! DiS likes popular stuff toooo!', any review which rates a mainstream song is so smug and almost trying to be different by liking anything vaguely popular. Well done guys.
So, to conclude this pointless rant where I haven't achieved anything, get some more reviewers who aren't bigoted by music that's not wanked over by indie geeks.
um fair enough
i could have taken your points serisouly as an honest subjective view if not for the 'really good song' part. Its utter drivel
How bad would something have to be
to earn a zero? "Ebony & Ivory" bad?
idiot
i went to see them filming never mind the buzzcocks last week and preston was on but walked out half way through.
was classic stuff
I hope they broadcast that
Would be classic TV.
Did anyone read the Metro yesterday where they had an interview with Preston. He said it's really easy to make a great indie song, but very hard to make a great pop song. Problem is Prest, your indie songs were wank too.
Listening to the Ordinary Boys now, and comparing it to their early stuff, I find it hard to believe the rest of the band went along with it, unless of cause they've all been hypnotized by Chantelle's lost, chavvy Barbie face.
^^ He said what?
Great indie songs are great pop songs, that's the way it goes. They're just cleverer pop songs than he can write.
that
is appalling, the videos on youtube and involves fluffy bunnies, i kid you not. and to top it all off, the beggining few bars sound like acoustic avril lavigne (not that i would know)
Int it "ironic"?
Admittedly I am not loling at all.
my life
just got worse, my girlfriend likes this song. i am seriously reconsidering our future.
Definitely
the worst song I've heard in a VERY long time.
Also Preston was on "Something for the Weekend" the other day and his lack of charm and charisma was painful to watch.
These dumbasses make me smile
Their first album which was credible was all about how people set their hearts on being a celebrity and how the media 'make or break's' you. The lonely existence of living in London and all this stuff about enjoying life whilst in a normal life of 9-5.
Then they make an album of twaddle mostly containing tributes to Ska and covers which are ripped apart.
Then, he goes on Big Brother after declaring a hatred for media on an album previously, marries the normal person off BB like a statement, sells it to OK Magazine.
Then when someone points out to him that he's just another z-list whose non-entity of a wife writes a book about a life and becoming London Travelodge, he has the fecking hump and then decides to spawn this awful wankstain upon us.
I don't hate the Ordinary Boys
I've even seen them live and enjoy some of their songs.
But this one is really weak.
And the live B-side is worst...
I knew it'd happen
I think it's inevitable that ordinary boys would become shit after big brother
i did enjoy brassbound, though
i probably just offended the court of human rights with that statement
lonely at the top was alright, i seemed to have avoided that song
but this song, it's just awful
the strangest thing is that i was watching popworld, as i do, and there was an interview with preston. he said the song is about how love songs just can't be written well, because of some reason or another
anyway, if he KNEW love songs couldn't be written, then why was this written?
That
review is seriously fucking harsh.
How can you possibly include Rebecca in the same review as the Ordinary Boys.
The way in which Rebecca (or Chloe depending on how long your memory is) delivered that chilling line:
"why does mummy keep smiling at me?"
will go down in history as one of the great Easties moments.
Rebecca is a contemporary Shirley Temple and to have the nerve of placing such brilliance in the same space as this piece of shite track is a disgrace.
weren't they all in a hardcore band once
forshame
weren't they conceived once
forshame
LOL
wetter than a babies first shit....
thats nice work
possibly 'baby's'
.
Jesus...
...fucking Christ.
I heard it on that dreadful 'Freshly Squeezed' monster that invades my TV every morning. So many things wrong with today so far. I think I may vomit at my general existence.
usually...
there are a few people who stick up for songs like this. even the feeling had a few people crying 'i quite like it!' when they got slagged off - but oh no, not the ordinary boys. lovely stuff. x
haha
they just make me laugh
they used to be alright
but now theyve lost most of their original fanbase, and by releasing wank like this they havent gained any new fans either